lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/16/17 06:55 AM
Twin Flame Runner's Experience

I am fascinated by the twin flame runner's perspective, so I started this thread.

Some time ago I found an article that discussed "soul shock" connected with the twin flame dynamic, so last night I googled the term and saw this definition:
 Quote:
What is Soul Shock? It's the intense pain, devastation and utter shock one feels deep within their core when they are separated from their twin flame...

For some reason as the "stayer" twin I am not experiencing soul shock, because I feel I understand what this process is and accept it. I suspect this may not be so for my twin runner counter-part.

As I researched "soul shock" more I found another post that illustrates what a runner might feel.

A Runners Version of Soul-Shock

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/16/17 11:39 AM
Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Here's another good article by Steve Gunn.

Soulmate runners and ‘Insanity’

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/17/17 10:09 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

This time of separation has been very fruitful for me. My preparation for the reunion is in the form of acquiring insights.

The insights are beautiful, and I feel called to write about them.

An insight came that suffering begets suffering. What that means is when one suffers, one will create suffering to oneself and others. So the only way to genuinely be kind is to reduce one's suffering. Without suffering one can only be kind.

This insight alleviates shame, a great cause of suffering, and so can go a long way in ending suffering. And with that, sweet kindness emerges.

Our separation is required to allow us time to become the people who can be kind to each other. Most people on the planet have a feeling of shame for the suffering they have caused, and it is that kind of shame that keeps us apart. With shame one doesn't feel worthy of good, so one runs from it.

The Book of Genesis speaks of this. Because of their shame Adam and Eve were thrown out of a God-filled world into a Godless world and so suffered.

Without shame the gates of Eden will swing open for us.

Spreading joy is the mission of twins, and only without shame is it possible.

We will get there. :-)

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/18/17 07:59 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

It's a really strange thing. If anyone would have told me that my twin was my twin soulmate I would never have believed it.

As far as I can tell our values do not match up, and we would have very little in common, an appropriate reason for us both to run. Why enter into something that there is so clearly a mismatch?

I am coming to understand that if we each were raised in the ideal world for which we were supported to be our real selves and met later in life, we would be a perfect match. But because of our socialization with family, school, and our culture that would be unlikely.

For example, in the time we grew up schools did not encourage children to pursue passions that differed from what the educational system valued. If we had been able to self-direct our own educations based on our true interests, we would likely be very different people than we are today. Sir Ken Robinson's humorous Ted Talk Do Schools Kill Creativity? addresses this eloquently.

Tragedies and chronic problems that impact families affects one's development. If we had lived in a perfect world and had been blessed with the most optimal conditions to grow up we would find ourselves a perfect fit.

This twin flame union provides us with a unique opportunity for a do-over, to become the children we would have been had we lived in that perfect world.

The separation serves as a time to break down that very conditioning in us that keeps us apart, so we may play as children when we reunite.

Jesus said that to enter the Kingdom of Heaven one must be like a child. For me that means to find my authentic playfulness and the stuff that makes me laugh and sing and pursue it.

Twin flames share the same soul song, and the breaking down of that conditioning inside allows each of us to find that song so that we may sing it in unison.

The word universe means "one song," and we as twins get to explore our universe, our one song, in life together.

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/18/17 03:58 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

While experiencing a debilitating depression in 2009 I attended a Matrix Energetics seminar. I was picked to go up on the stage to be a subject for a 2-point demonstration by Melissa.

Melissa asked me what I wanted to manifest, and in a tearful voice I said, "Joy." :-(

Then Richard joined Melissa in a most elaborate 2-point that concluded with me falling backwards and then being assisted down to the floor.

Little did I know 8 years ago as I lay nearly unconscious on my back for a good half hour that the joy I was to manifest would come in the form of a twin flame relationship. I would have settled for regular garden variety joy, but I guess profound joy will have to do. :-)

Richard has had a radical effect on me in ways I only have just begun to realize. I feel I speak and live Matrix Energetics in my pursuit of playfulness and in the kind of openness to courageously step out of box-thinking.

Through this twin flame experience it has really hit home that just because I don't believe in something doesn't mean it isn't true. I see now how the map is definitely not the territory.

The journey I have been on since encountering Matrix Energetics has been both riveting and really cool.

If you are reading this, Melissa and Richard, know that my gratitude for your service runneth over. Thank you.


LH







lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/19/17 09:07 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

I have been waiting my whole life to find my life's work. It's been so frustrating, because nothing seems to materialize.

What I mean by life's work is to contribute to our planet in my own unique way with the gifts I have been given.

Wayne Dyer said he did not want to die with his music still inside of him, and this notion stuck with me. I have cried so many tears worrying I would meet that fate.

I write because that is my music. It is bringing me so much joy to write here, the kind of joy I requested in 2009.

It is lovely that I can do so here, because it reveals the wonderful effects of those ripples created when I tossed that pebble in the pond by making that request. How poetic that it should come full circle on this forum?

The web now is exploding with information about the twin flame phenomenon, and I do not believe this is an accident.

My twin and I are on the first wave of twins coming together, and folks like us need the support of information. It can be a painful transformation that people around us cannot understand.

The runners are freaking out; and the stayers are confused about why the runners run. The result is both are being tortured by these separations. These writings are my contribution to support the first wavers and those waves to come.

There is a movement that a man by the name of Ernesto Sirolli coined "The New Victorians." If you have not heard about the New Victorians I suggest you watch his TED Talk The New Victorians: The Millennial Revolution .

What Ernesto Sirolli suggests is that the millennials have a purpose and that is to remake the planet to address issues around sustainability.

He calls them the New Victorians, because, like their predecessors, the Victorians, who ushered us into the industrial age, they too are called to usher us into this new age coming.

The problem is so many millennials are lost because they feel they have a purpose but have no clue what that is. And many feel powerless to do anything meaningful in this crazy world that seems to be falling apart.

The simple lifestyle that we twins will have will show them how their values of minimalism and freedom and authenticity are possible without sacrificing their financial well-being. I hope my writings may point out a way to successfully create such a lifestyle.

If they can find a way to live that kind of life, they have the best chance to make that revolution happen.

But of course they need the proper attitude if it is to be successful. If they fall into fear and greed the results will be the same as today. So a new consciousness is required if the revolution is to truly change the world, and that consciousness is love.

So to me this new age is about both sustainability and love. And what a beautiful thing that is.

Writing this is my music, and finally into mid-life I get to begin to play it.

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/20/17 02:48 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

This song is in support of the runners. I believe in you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1yh4x2nngYU

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/21/17 12:06 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Recently I have experienced people pulling away from me. I don't hear from family or friends. Some I chose to distance myself from, and others just fall away. There are no rifts, yet this is happening. Why?

It is because God is opening up space for my twin.

This twin flame relationship takes up a lot of space, and it is required to reunite. So there will be no room for anyone else, and that will be enough for us.

We will grow together and thrive together. This is the design, and it will work.

We will never be apart even if we are physically apart. We will feel them around us, or they will speak to us remotely.

When their body passes this will continue, because the soul cannot die. We will continue the relationship. We will even feel their touch. And they will wait for us until we too pass on, and then, together, we will fly into the light.

LH



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/21/17 09:22 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

After my divorce I told myself that the next time around I want something that works. I asked myself, "How could I tell if it works?" And the answer that came was, "I would thrive."

So that means if I were in a relationship for which I was not thriving, it isn't working. And since I have decided that in this next phase of my life that I must thrive that means I would have to leave any relationship for which I wasn't.

At the time I had no concept of twin flames at all, but now I find myself faced with the fact I am one and have one. The cool thing is that these relationships are designed for thriving, so that's great.

As I spend time in preparation for this reunion I am taking stock of the world of romance and have come to the conclusion it is badly designed.

We appear to be wired fundamentally to procreate for the species to survive. However, God has completely made it impossible for men and women to be in sync for recreational sex.

Premenopausal women really are designed to have intercourse during ovulation. I know this because I did some reading about why women get so many bladder and yeast infections after sex, and I came to the conclusion that it happens because they have sex when they are not ovulating.

Why I say this is because during ovulation their cervical mucus has antibacterial properties that it doesn't have any other time. This means that during ovulation they are not likely to get infections. So if women are getting so many infections that means that while they heal they are not available for sex.

Also, I read that when women are on birth control pills their cervical mucus is thick. These antibacterial properties have to do with the thickness of the mucus. When it is thin, the properties are there. So--while on birth control pills women are not safe from getting infections any time of the month.

In addition, for most of the month women are premenstrual and really not in the mood. Energy is a resource to be reserved during this time in preparation for the energy lost during menstruation, and PMS allows them to take this needed break from sex for their bodies to prepare. All of this does not sit well with their men.

And if a woman is menopausal basically their bodies are designed to shut down from sex, and that sexual energy is often then sublimated into other things in life. It's nature's way of saying, "The baby factory is closed."

Now men are designed to procreate on a daily basis, so I think you know where I am going. Nobody is happy.

And the result is it is difficult for men to tolerate monogamous relationships and must find other outlets for their procreative activities (pornography, etc.).

The other problem I read is that when men do these activities, they lose dopamine, and so ultimately it becomes an addiction.

What makes an addiction is the compulsion to replenish the dopamine, so often sex is the chosen way. The replenishing occurs prior to climax, but after climax the dopamine drops. Therefore, feeding the addiction then requires outlets and that only exacerbates the problem.

So as a human race when it comes to monogamous sexual relationships between men and women we are designed to fail.

Now--how is it possible for me to thrive under these conditions? How can I reunite with my twin with the confidence that this can work? The answer that is being revealed to me is quite strange indeed, but I will tell you tomorrow.

LH


End of Part 1


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/21/17 09:56 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience




Intermezzo





lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/21/17 11:49 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/21/17 11:53 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/21/17 12:04 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/21/17 12:05 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/21/17 01:05 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/21/17 01:16 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/21/17 01:24 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/22/17 08:37 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

End of Intermezzo


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/22/17 08:37 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Part 2


Part 1 addressed the fact that if I were to enter into a romantic relationship it would need to work. And I defined my criteria for a working relationship as one in which I would thrive.

I also brought up the issue that sexual relations between men and women is fraught with unhappiness, so I asked:

 Quote:
Now--how is it possible for me to thrive under these conditions? How can I reunite with my twin with the confidence that this can work?


I said that the answer I was getting for this question is very strange, and I was not exaggerating. The answer is this:

Men and women twin flames will be redesigned through changes in the chakra system such that we will no longer be wired to procreate. Instead we only will be wired to love.

That means we twins easily can be friends, and it also means we can actually cuddle. Believe it or not men, you will cuddle and love it? It will be enough.

There are simply too many people on the planet for the resources we have, so this evolutionary adaptation allows us not to add to the ever-increasing population. God is finally getting it right.

Twins are wired for monogamy, and so being true to one's twin will be second nature. We will love each other and thrive.

I have read about merging which I guess is some form of intercourse, but I am not clear how it works.

What I do understand is that when merging we twins have the kind of experience near-death experiencers have when they enter the light. We will feel that kind of love, and it will be incredible. The pleasure will be beyond anything that sex can offer without the drop in dopamine.

With that why would any twin want to be with anyone else? They wouldn't, and they couldn't, because they are only wired to be with their mate.

I don't have a clear answer for twins destined to reproduce offspring. If merging is indeed the act of intercourse, then I suppose it may happen that way. But since the rest of the time they are happy with cuddling, then intercourse likely would be something only reserved for procreation. That means no more accidents, the ultimate in planned parenthood.

So my dear male twins, do not despair. You will be so very happy without that gnawing need for sex all of the time. You can focus on being productive and being in the world without the stresses that come with the libido.

I found a most excellent excerpt from a Louis C.K. show. He talks about how everyday he is tortured with sexual thoughts. He says he wishes he could just have one day where he could be present in the world without them.

You male twins will know what Louis C.K. could only dream about. You will no longer be living under the tyranny of your libidos.

Sorry twin flame gals--I think I hear your runners running even faster if they got a gander at this post. :-)


LH


Men, because of our evolutionary adaptation you will never feel this way about your twin.





lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/22/17 10:10 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/22/17 02:27 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/22/17 06:28 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

I have read there are same-sex twins, but I am not clear how what I am saying is valid for them.

One of the reasons many twins have to be apart is because the male counterpart may feel extreme libidinous feelings toward his female counterpart.

Many men have the tendency to sexualize love. The feelings the twins feel for each other is a profoundly deep love, so if the male twin sexualizes love, then the sexual desire for his twin will be voracious.

Therefore, it is not safe for the reunion to occur until that is remedied through the rewiring.

It is difficult to hold both love and sexual feelings at once for they originate from two different parts of the body. So this rewiring remedies this conflict by having the desire for the twin felt solely in the heart, the only appropriate place for love.

So men, this may be frightening to you, and I hope this explanation is helpful. This will pass.

Could be you feel all kinds of strange body sensations during this time. If they alarm you, then go to the doctor. If the doctor finds nothing wrong you can be assured that it is due to this process.

This is not in the realm of the physical, so if it is related to this rewiring no doctor could be of help except to prescribe something for anxiety should you feel it is difficult to cope. Do whatever you need to comfort yourselves.

If you feel called to do energy work, then find a healer that can assist you. An energy healer cannot stop the process, but he/she might be able to smooth it out. An acupuncturist might be appropriate as well.

You've just got to go with your gut.

God has your back. It will be okay. :-)

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/23/17 03:58 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Many runners are not accustom to self-reflection.

“Your heart is the size of an ocean.
Go find yourself in its hidden depths.”

--Rumi


LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/23/17 08:20 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

I just woke up from a dream that feels important to share. It's a repetitive dream I have had for too long.

I used to work in a supermarket and then a software company. So the dream takes place in either location. This morning it was a mixture of both.

So I go into my boss's office who I had worked for at the software company to find a time-sheet. I am really embarrassed to tell her that I never have filled one out though I had been working there for years. That means I literally had been working for free.

She says something like, "If you don't miss it, then you won't do anything about it."

I decided this time I would fill it out, but I am so resistant and really very resentful I have to. I am angry because if I worked on a salary basis I wouldn't need to. So I don't fill it out. Instead I walk through the supermarket, and I see a co-worker I had at the software company.

This co-worker had come from wealth, so she was dressed up with fine clothes and looked altogether. I, on the other hand, was dressed shabbily.

At that moment I felt that this twin flame reunion could never happen, because my attitude about myself was so low. I was certain that if it did, I would screw it up for sure as I have done with all good things.

Also, I felt my twin would not feel I was physically beautiful enough to be interested, and he would never want me and would only be attracted to someone who looked like my co-worker. This is one of the insecurities I do carry about him.

In the dream I immediately felt I had to contact my healer to work on me, because in reality I did before when I was nervous about a large sum of money coming. The work with him enabled me not to be anxious, so when it came I was completely relaxed.

These feelings of insecurity are at such a fundamental level that energy work is really the only thing that can shift one out of that "I don't feel worthy" feeling. Therapy simply doesn't cut it for this kind of substantial change though it can be helpful.

There are people who may have come from poor backgrounds and know great success, but underneath that feeling of "less than" can still be there. So even though they are successful, they may try desperately in many ways to "be someone," because they still feel like they are "no one" no matter their wealth. They don't relax in their success and may sabotage it or sit in fear that they will lose it.

I think many of us twins may feel similar insecurities, both runners and stayers. We have struck gold here, and it is terrifying for such good stuff to come this way if we feel unworthy of good things.

I share this dream to let you know that you are not alone, but the transformation we are undergoing will naturally take care of all that.

I feel in my case my reunion will not happen until the transformation is completed, so I am assured that it will work from the start. When my twin comes back into my life, I won't sabotage it, and neither will he. It is set up that he will not come until we won't, so it is fail-safe.

I have read that twins feel more comfortable with each other than anyone in all their lives, like they are home. So it cannot be anything but natural.

This stuff is really weird, but it is nature in action. Evolution is a natural process. It's just that this is so outside of the box of science that who could understand?

Evolutionary adaptations take many generations. What is so odd about this is this adaptation is taking place in a single life. As far as I know this is degree of transformation is unheard of save for insects like butterflies.

Getting far away from box-thinking is required to get comfortable about this, because it will not fit into any worldview.

What I say about boxes is this: God is too big to be contained in a box, and he will always burst through. If it is possible to not think in a box that is best, but if you can't stop thinking in a box, then be prepared to continually expand it.

LH



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/23/17 08:48 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/23/17 10:44 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/23/17 11:58 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/23/17 01:31 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

For me this twin flame dynamic puts a whole new spin on the source of addictions.

Often I have heard the term "hole in the soul," that incredibly empty place inside that we desperately want to fill. But what is that hole? And why is it there?

My understanding is my soul is a half-soul that originated from the whole, but that whole split into two, a feminine and masculine half. Each half lived its lifetimes separately within different bodies. And now at this time my half and the other half, that of my twin, will meet up in this life in the physical.

Our bodies will link up through energetic cords to simulate the connectedness of our half-souls. Basically, these half-souls have always been connected throughout lifetimes even if the physical bodies they inhabited never met or lived at different times. Strange, isn't it?

After linking up, our bodies energetically will be connected body and soul, heart to heart even though we twins will still remain physically two different people.

Therefore, if every person on the planet has a half-soul, then there will always be a sense of something missing, because, of course, there is.

I have read that human beings' perpetual pursuit of a romantic partner is the ongoing desire of one's half-soul to merge physically with its other half. But of course unless one is destined in that lifetime, it will never happen.

We may hook up with other souls, but they will not be our half-soul nor can we be their half. So often there is disappointment, because something is still amiss.

We want them to be our everything, but they cannot be, because they are not meant to be. They may play a role in an area of our lives but not all areas.

Healthy people understand this and have a variety of friends to do other activities with to supplement areas for which their partner has no interest.

Less balanced people will seek the partner to be everything for them, but this creates a kind of parasitic relationship that makes them feel needy and suffocates their partner.

The strange thing with the twin dynamic is our twin becomes everything to us, and the relationship is symbiotic rather than parasitic. It flies in the face of what we would think should be healthy yet it is very healthy.

Some people who are afraid to become intimate with another will choose an addiction over finding a partner. Others will do both, and of course partners also become addictions.

The lack of dopamine is derived from the lack of the other half, so the filling is all about deriving that feeling of wholeness that would exist if we had our other half.

Once we twins hook up energetically, we no longer lack the dopamine. That hole in the soul is filled by our other half-soul, and then we become the wholeness that was always sought.

Without that hole in the soul there can no longer be any addictions, because there is no more emptiness to fill. We then experience a freedom we have never known.

Unfortunately, before twin souls can merge there must be a clearing out of energetic blocks caused by trauma and hurt. Until they are cleared such a relationship will be full of conflict as old baggage of distrust will continue to come up.

I have heard that some twins do experience this back and forth. They come together, then break up time and time again.

My twin and I have been blessed with a circumstance for which we will not come together until we are cleared of that baggage, so we avoid that painful dance.

The separation is a lovely gift to ready us so that we may come together without strife to fulfill our mission to spread joy.

One may say that such a mission does not seem all that profound, but that is not so. The world is in a sad state, and people are down and out. Our role is to spread good cheer and lift spirits.

People who are cheerful are more likely to be kind to one another and may be inspired to do good things in service of the planet. What good are we to the planet if we too are downtrodden?

No, we must be authentically of good cheer. No plastic smiles will do. It must come from a genuine place of joy for us to make the difference we are to make.

I am so pleased that I will be on this mission with my twin. I have been fond of him for quite a while, and I know we will have lots of fun together.

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/23/17 02:33 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/23/17 07:48 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

A thought came to me that the saga of twin flame runners is an example of The Hero's Journey, a story structure used in many myths about a hero called to leave the comfort of the world he/she knows on an adventure into the unknown.

In The Hero's Journey motif the hero is first offered a call to adventure. In my saga I requested the call to my twin.

The next part of the motif is the hero's refusal of the call. That too would be the runner's rejection of the stayer's request. In the twin flame saga the rejection could come in the form of silence or a direct "no".

Joseph Campbell says that refusing the call has this effect on the hero:

"Refusal of the summons converts the adventure into its negative. Walled in boredom, hard work, or 'culture,' the subject loses the power of significant affirmative action and becomes a victim to be saved. His flowering world becomes a wasteland of dry stones and his life feels meaningless..."

The Hero's Journey introduces themes of the supernatural which seem to me are being called upon with my own twin flame saga.

The synchronicities abound everywhere. I also see men around who appear to morph into the image of my twin, but when I get closer I see it is not him. Men use phrases or give expressions that my twin does too. I believe it is his half-soul reaching out to me through different people. I read this is common.

One night I was sleeping next to my iPad. I had set it up to play an iHeartRadio custom station, but I had paused it before I went off to sleep.

While sleeping, as if in a dream, I felt a flutter in my heart and an airy wisp of a voice calling my twin's name from inside my heart. Then my iPad suddenly went on, and the Journey song "I Come to You with Open Arms" blasted out. At that moment I knew that the song fit perfectly even though I knew nothing about twin flames.

I have read that sometimes one of the twin's heart chakra is awakened to the twin flame connection in a dream. I believe this happened to me.

From what I can tell his heart chakra may have awoken soon after meeting me, but I cannot verify that. If that is true, it would appear he was the first to have his heart awakened, but mine came on much later after his refusal of the call.

Another thing happened with my iPad. One morning I woke up to play an iHeartRadio station, and the Coldplay song "Clocks" was programmed to play as a solo song. I had not programmed it into my iPad at all, and I wanted to listen to another station, but it wouldn't let me. Then I tried to close the program and restart, but it would not close.

It appeared I was meant to listen to "Clocks" whether I wanted to or not. Was it my twin who wanted me to hear it? I still don't know, but the theme of the song fits too.

After I listened and got "control" of the device, I looked in history, and it was not there, and the icon for the song was gone. It was just another example of the weirdness that has become my life. The box of how iHeartRadio works blew up. :-)

Maybe my twin is experiencing strange weirdness in his world. He should be if what I have read is true.

Thankfully for my twin the refusal will one day be reversed, and he will join me on the adventure of a lifetime, another Coldplay song that has felt appropriate.

The woman is urging the man to turn his magic on. The role of the stayer is to wake her twin up from the dream of his ordinariness and discovery his magic, and I am assured my twin will.

I look forward to hear from my twin the tales of his life during separation and see what aspects of his hero's journey matches the motif and what weirdness he encountered.

The adventure continues...

LH



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/23/17 09:01 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/24/17 04:11 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

A word to the wise to the stayers, keep away from your runner's Facebook page. What you see will cause you to suffer.

We too are on a path of evolution of our own to build a foundation of maturity. It takes discipline not to look and patience to wait. We are to behave in accordance with our wise virtuous souls.

The Facebook world is misleading. It offers snapshots of happiness, because that's what it is supposed to do. It is a culture of image-making to tell the world, "I am happy and productive."

But I have done reading about this culture and have discovered that most of it is all that, image. There is more going on behind the scenes of a person's life than what you see on Facebook, and it is often not as good as it looks.

It is none of my business what goes on in my runner's life today, and this attitude has kept me grounded. Whatever is going on is not relevant, because this separation is temporary.

I respect that he needs to do what he is doing in preparation for the reunion. That does not mean it is easy for me, not at all. Even now there is an ache to open up Facebook and take a look.

This separation is akin to holding long-term stock. It is advised when you do hold it that you not pay attention to the stock market activity or it will make you nutty. Instead you wait it out until it is time to sell. The same discipline is required here.

I use the term "stayer" rather than "chaser." Chaser has a negative connotation that I feel is not good for my self-esteem. I found the alternative term "stayer" online, so I use it here.

However, in the spirit of hospitality I call myself the "welcomer," because it is my role to welcome my twin on the adventure and to welcome him home. :-)

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/24/17 04:18 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/24/17 08:13 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

This is a big subject and could take several posts to cover completely.

Currently I am living a very insulated life. I am preparing my house for sale, but I am renovating it first.

I am working on it slowly, and it is nearly done now, but I am taking my time to do the finishing touches. What is most important to me is to focus on this evolutionary transformation I am undergoing. It can be exhausting as I feel I am changing so much, and the insights keep coming. There is a whole lot to process.

Nearly all of my belongings are boxed in a closet and ready to be moved when I leave. I have approached this in a meticulous way, and this experience, itself, has been transformative.

Even though I am insulated in my house, I must call upon the world to assist me. I have hired painters, etc. I have my doctors. I have customer support I call on the telephone to help me with various issues, etc.

In these experiences I find myself perplexed about what is going on in the outside world. People seem so scattered. For example, someone asks me a question; I tell them the answer; and they respond as if I never told them and ask again. This chronically happens. It's as if they are suffering from dementia.

Then people are crazy busy. You can't reach people or you don't hear back from them. And I see the quality of the workmanship has been really low. People who have been recommended to me for their good work are performing below their usual standards.

Now since I am selling my house "as is" I don't mind the mediocre workmanship, but it still bugs me that the windows were painted shut by someone considered a master painter. I let it go, because it is likely that the house will be completely overhauled by the buyer. What counts is the house looks clean and presentable. And the housing market is skyrocketing, and I should do quite well, so it's best to keep my perspective.

There are so many more stories I could share, and I wonder how my twin is dealing with this strangeness that is going on. And does he too find himself not quite performing to his own usual standard, a man who appears to set a high standard for himself?

I don't know how to account for what I am seeing, but I do have theories about a variety of variables at play that together are making for a world that is not working so well. Some variables are the ubiquitous use of smart phones, Trump's presidency, and the frantic busyness of our culture.

I am telling my fellow twins about what I am seeing to address this to you. We need to keep clarity during these times, and if we can avoid the societal traps we see around us, we can maintain our ability to stay clear and focused.

So to begin to become conscious of this stuff is critical. I have chosen to be extremely deliberate about most decisions I make. For example, if offered an upgrade for something, and the thing I have is working, I refuse the upgrade.

I do so, because my experience has been that upgrades I receive usually end up being downgrades. I believe this is so, because the quality of our goods and services are declining. So to me it is best to keep what I have or purchase used things that were made before this decline.

I want my life to work, and so it is best to avoid things whose quality cannot hold up. There is an excellent story I have about a recent car purchase I made from a brand I have been loyal to for their excellent product. There are so many complaints I have about it, and I long for my old car back. These problems are things I could not have recognized during short test drives, so how was I to know? And it never occurred to me to look at online peer reviews, since I have always been a satisfied customer.

My old car was working beautifully. There was no reason to buy a new one, but it seemed time for an upgrade. MISTAKE!!! I am sad I had to learn this lesson on such a big ticket item, but maybe it needed to be to really hit home that it is imperative in these times to not change things that are working.

So I will address these variables over time in my posts. What I want to say is if you find your performance is not up to par, it is not your fault. It is these variables at play. And if you encounter this with others, it is not their fault either.

What is important is to be able to navigate the best one can in this world that appears to be de-evolving. I am doing many things myself that I can rather than hiring someone. I am taking care to check that all my bank accounts and credit cards have the proper transactions. I have never been so attentive about this as I am today. With identity theft and mistakes banks may make due to their dysfunctionality it is a must.

The smart phones are the biggest problem which I will talk about extensively, but the enormous mistake made at the Oscars says it all.

I am intentionally keeping my "dumb" phone. I found a work-a-round for texting, and I won't get a smart phone until my life requires it. Smart phones do feed dopamine, so behavior around their usage is really difficult to control. For me it's better not to start.

So take a look around you and observe, and I think you will see what I am talking about. Fortunately this transformation will assist you to navigate this crazy, mixed-up world which, no doubt, will get even crazier.

LH



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/24/17 08:22 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/24/17 08:28 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/24/17 10:36 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

When I began to understand that there was an unusual connection between my twin and me, my daughter, who will be 29 on Friday, came to mind.

I noted they have parallels in their lives, and for some reason I kept thinking he would be a very important man in her life even though they never have met nor does she know he exists.

In addition, I have often felt I have failed as being a good example to her. I have not made choices that support my ability to thrive, and so I have set a really low bar for her. She chooses men that are not of her caliber. She also says things that indicate she feels unlovable like, "No man will ever love me."

I felt somehow that if I was involved with a good man who I would thrive with that this would be transformative to her, and she might begin to feel hopeful about herself.

My twin will be that kind of man: loving, faithful, sincere, confident, honorable, capable, intelligent, wise, gentle, and funny. And our relationship will be one of profound mutual respect and honor. The male twins are diamonds in the rough, and this transformation refines their characters to sparkle.

One day I read that a twin flame's child is the soul-offspring of his/her twin flame counterpart. If this is true, then my daughter has her biological father, and she has a soul father, my twin. It also said that the twin counterpart and his/her soul-offspring have a deep soul connection.

I found that so interesting, so I compared my twin's photograph to my daughter's and sure enough they have the exact same eye shape and color, and neither her dad nor I have those eyes. It makes sense that they might have the same eyes, because, as it is said, eyes are the windows to one's soul.

I rarely see my daughter or even talk to her much. Our relationship has been strained, and there is distance. She has a good bond with her dad, so I hear about important things she is going through from him. It has been sad to me that I hear about her life secondhand.

She has absolutely no idea about this whole twin flame thing. She wouldn't want to know about it, but within the last week something has changed between us. There is a softening she has toward me, and she is confiding in me and asking for advice.

I have read that when there is a shift in the twin flame dynamic this affects the whole soul family, so I wonder if somewhere out there my twin is softening his attitude toward me?

If it is true, I am so very grateful to him for this correlation that may be happening with my daughter.

I really feel that she and I may start to heal our relationship, and that she may see me as someone she can respect enough to take counsel with. She has trust issues with me, and I pray I can begin to be worthy of her trust, and that she will respond accordingly.

When one feels like a failure as a parent, it cuts through the core of one's heart, and the pain is excruciating. However, I believe this twin flame relationship will help heal that heartache I have about my shortcomings.

It's a lovely and unexpected miracle.

LH




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/24/17 01:46 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

In a previous post I covered the issue of why I believe romantic relationships between men and women are destined to fail. Now I would like to discuss the outcome of this on gender relations.

The problem for men is that with their wiring for procreation left unsatisfied, they experience a constant discomfort around women. So women are then seen as a temptress that controls them even if many have no interest in being that.

In truth no one is to blame save God who endowed us with our current wiring. Still there are those women who do feel a need to entice. In fact, our society supports us to do so with our fashion. Sexy attire trends in our world, and we wear it to attract men, but what it also does is to cause them to resent us too. It is a no-win situation.

What I did discover from a seminar I took about understanding men is that we women have been mislead as to what men generally really want. Of course, if you want a purely sexual relationship being sexy and coy is the way to go. But for a man to become enchanted with you it is your authenticity that attracts them.

What attracts their heart is kindness, a warm smile, responsiveness, confidence, and passion for life. Of course, being physically attracted to you is important, but that comes down to a personal preference.

So as far as wiring goes this idea of being the temptress, as Eve was portrayed in The Book of Genesis, brings on a whole host of issues men have with women. And, of course, women are frustrated with feeling that they live under the tyranny of men's libidos.

There are other issues at play too. Since we are wired to be failures at sexual relationships that means our parents were too, and so were their grandparents, and on it goes. So how then could our parents have raised us without having some of that inherited baggage influence their parenting?

The most painful are those children who are raised by parents who sexualize love. Even a woman can do this if she was raised in an environment where love was sexualized, because she learns that is how love is expressed.

That means a mother or father or both might raise their children with this sexualized way of expressing love. It can be subtle as well as not so subtle, but in either case it robs the children of their innocence.

This kind of experience for the young will wreak havoc on their sexual relationships their whole life. So you combine this with our wiring, and there is a whole lot of suffering to endure.

For us this transformation wipes that all away. Our innocence returns to us, and it can never be taken away again. We live in a safe haven with our twin, and we will be wired to only love, so we will no longer find ourselves in compromising situations.

We will adore to be together and will be seen holding hands or walking with our arms around each other, and our love will be so palpable that it will be obvious that our bond cannot be broken.

All this is coming our way. The Garden of Eden awaits our return.

LH




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/24/17 07:02 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

This could be useful to you runners who find your libidos are too overactive and/or if you are overwhelmed by sexual thoughts about your twin.

There is a book, The New Celibacy, by Gabrielle Brown that is out of print but could be useful. The author found through her studies with couples who were practicing celibacy that couples became happier, and their relationships deepened.

In these cases the couples made a conscious intention to try and see what would happen. If both are not in agreement, the benefits are not possible.

The men were surprised to find that their libidinous thoughts were greatly reduced. It would appear the dopamine loss feeds the thoughts, that the thoughts--themselves, are addictive.

Because sex was not made the center of their relationships anymore the couples together pursued enjoyable common interests. The men felt better and healthier with a reddish glow to the skin, because of the increase of ojas, a secretion in the body that produces a sense of well-being.

Interviews with couples revealed stories about people so in love and happy. I feel in my heart that this may be the foundation of the twin flame relationship, and yes, we will have a greater sense of well-being and glowing, radiant skin.

Now runners, if practicing celibacy seems impossible or undesirable, then this is something else to do that would assist you in getting the libido under control.

One can bring oneself to the point of climax and then stop to build up the dopamine. You can do this many times and then climax after you feel sufficient dopamine has been built. You can tell when you have built up a lot of dopamine, because you will feel very relaxed. With this approach you can continue to climax while managing your dopamine levels. This then may get you out of the dopamine loop and loosen the hold of your libido.

Of all the problems that come with the libido shame is the biggest because of the suffering that ensues.

I view everything as an instrument of God. Our bodies that provide a house for the soul is an instrument to serve us. Food is an instrument to nourish us. Our homes are an instrument to house our bodies. Our friends are an instrument to provide companionship. It goes on and on.

God loves us, and if our bodies are an instrument of God, then that means the hand that pleasures us is an instrument of God that loves us. If when pleasuring yourself you think in this way, the experience can be transformed from shameful into a deep abiding love. Shame depletes dopamine, but love increases it.

All these may assist you to reel in the negative effects of your current wiring.

I hope that helps.

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/24/17 08:32 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Men, given the transformation you are undergoing, if you are a member of a local chapter of the He-Man Woman Hater's Club, you may want to consider not paying this year's annual dues.





lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/24/17 08:34 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/25/17 01:12 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”

― Anaïs Nin


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/25/17 01:13 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/25/17 06:34 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

I don't know about other twin flame couples, but music will be very important for my twin and me. We will sit back and really listen to music all of the time like we used to as teenagers.

One of the changes I am noticing in me is I hear music in my head often. I can sometimes hear a song in great detail as if I am listening to it externally.

I have a feeling since we will share one mind, we will be able to listen to music in unison internally rather than always through an external source.

We can learn new songs from an external source, and then listen to them internally. We won't need earbuds, and we won't be in conflict about volume level. We will dance a lot, and we won't disturb the neighbors.

If he can sing, I plan to ask him to teach me. Over the years I have noticed my breathing apparatus has been changing, and I naturally breathe through my diaphragm. The inner wall of my chest expands greatly, and my voice has gotten more resonant.

It is clear to me now these physiological changes have been happening for some years in preparation for this evolution which not only happens on a consciousness level but also anatomically.

With these changes I might have the makings of a good singer. I always did want to sing well, and now I may have a shot at it.

Feel-good will be our life together, and there's nothing more feel-good than music.

This is pretty trippy stuff. :-)

LH




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/25/17 06:43 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/25/17 07:54 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

I was thinking of a song that often reminds me of the twin flame adventure that awaits my twin and I, "Renegades" by X Ambassadors.

The song is about two kids running wild and free and breaking the rules. We will too.

This doesn't mean we will break the law or be unethical. What it means is doing things differently than the way they are commonly done. These days the way things are commonly done brings endless suffering, so it's best not to go there.

We mustn't suffer in order to forever be kind to each other, so this lifestyle is designed to deter suffering that way it will be guaranteed that the Garden of Eden will always be our home.

Clarity is the key to accomplish this way of life, and through the twin flame transformation, we will have it in abundance. Our life will be well-ordered and simple, and this will leave room for the extraordinary.

With the assistance of God we will break the rules of what the world would expect with regard to our paid work. Since God is all-powerful, if we hand it all over to God, amazing and seemingly miraculous things must happen. How can they not?

We can do well financially without working much, and I have figured out how. Much of it has to do with living below our means, so that we don't have to break our backs to support an expensive lifestyle. Yet we won't live so below our means that we feel impoverished, because we should always have fun. And when we are not working the rest of the time will be ours to have all sorts of adventures.

And that brings up something else: time. Our world is in panic over lack of time. People live in a constant state of busyness often doing things that are non-essential. We will have plenty of time, because we will have the clarity to see what is essential and let go of the rest.

Like it once was in our childhood, we will have tons of unstructured time to imagine and play and rediscover the magic we are. By taking back our time, we will break the conventions of today--and so be exceedingly happy.

We have hit middle age, but the good news is we are late bloomers, so it is not too late for us to live a good, productive, and wonderful life.

LH




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/25/17 09:05 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/25/17 03:15 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Choosing one's livelihood is the single most important decision a person can make. Yet, as young people we really are not given a chance to explore our interests much.

College gives some opportunity for that, but it's not really adequate. There is a curriculum set up that may not be appropriate for one's true calling, and by the end one may still have no idea which career to choose.

Most people take the conventional path and fall into things or are forced to make choices. After all, we must choose something, and as a result most are not happy in their work.

To avoid suffering my twin and I must do work we love. We cannot work in the manner God set for Adam and Eve after the fall, in "painful labor," since that is not in accordance with Eden life.

Self-employment is a must, because we can charge what we wish and be in control of our time. And we will need to be watchful of tracking our billable hours and be paid on schedule.

We will work with clients we like, and we will see our work with them as a collaboration rather than viewing them as our bosses. We offer service in trade for money, and that is a fair trade.

We will have our finances set up so that we can walk away from a client any time we like. This also will enable us to pick and choose clients that we wish to work with rather than take on difficult ones, because we are desperate for money.

If my twin wishes a change in his profession, our finances will be set up so that he may take all the time he wants to explore avenues of interest. These things cannot be rushed.

If he wants to pursue the arts without compromising his standards, there is no reason why he cannot do well financially. The idea of "the starving artist" is just another box that can be transcended, and God is bigger than any box, so why not?

So long as we find clients who will pay the substantial fees we charge that allow us ample opportunity to play during our free time, then all will be well. And those clients are out there, because there are always people who will pay a premium. We also can supplement with simple passive income streams.

What a gift for my twin to have the freedom to find out who he is? How often does anyone have such a chance?

One of the difficult issues I faced in my marriage was my ex-husband's fear that I would move beyond him. There was a constant tension around this, but for twins moving beyond is impossible.

We share one mind, so we learn together. Therefore, no one can ever move beyond anyone, so all insecurities and jealousies dissolve. There is no his success or my success; there is only our success.

Right now my twin and I are not at the same place. My transformation started earlier than his, but he will catch up, and then we always will be in sync. In addition, since we will share one mind, it is impossible for either of us to be smarter than the other, so all competition is eliminated.

We can live as children and play, but we must take care of "adult" responsibilities competently to be carefree in our play. "Adult" responsibilities too can be a form of play, so then all of life can be fun, creative flow.

In 2005, Steve Jobs delivered a commencement address at Stanford University in which he discussed his unconventional college education.

He self-directed his studies by auditing classes in subjects that interested him. One of those classes provided him with the design know-how to revolutionize the typography of computers.

He said the secret for him was trusting that everything would be okay. It was that trust that enabled him to take the road less traveled, and because of his courage, the rewards were many.

The twin flame path also is the road less traveled. In fact, I don't know if it has ever been traveled, so it appears we may be pioneers in a new frontier.

We can be brave trailblazers and set the world on fire, but we must trust. If we trust, then grace will accompany us every step of the way.


LH




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/25/17 04:08 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/25/17 04:28 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

I have heard that certain songs will come up when your twin is thinking about you. I have wondered if he thinks of me when he hears this song.




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/25/17 07:28 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

I have read that the pace of these transformations is speeding up, and that the expected time for their completion is sooner than originally anticipated.

Though I am writing for my own pleasure, it is a world-wide venue, so I suspect it may be having greater impact than I realize.

I have wanted to slow down posting, because it feels like way too much for the twins to process. And yet I feel I am not supposed to, because I am part of something so much larger--that, itself, is speeding up.

I don't know a lot about my twin, but I suspect he has endured much suffering. Because of this I feel he has powerful fortitude, and I respect him so much for this.

He, as the other runners, are probably suffering so much, and maybe this speeding up is meant to get them through quickly to the other side, but that also may mean that the dragons in their lives that they are meant to slay may get fiercer.

This kind of transformation is not for the faint of heart, so it may be that these runners are meant to have this kind of fortitude.

Though the runners refused the call that is just an appearance. The refusal itself is a part of the hero's journey and drives the journey, the journey home. The tragic thing is that the one person who understands and that they feel compelled to talk to, they must run from.

Whatever doubt he may have, I am confident my twin will get through these trials beautifully. That is the design, so how can it go any other way?

The caterpillar enters the chrysalis phase and, if the conditions are right, will gracefully emerge from it a butterfly. Because of the way things appear to be lining up from my end, I am assured the conditions are right in my twin's metamorphosis.

While in the chrysalis caterpillars go though a disintegration, and this kind of thing the runners go through too in order to find their wings. What that looks like for my twin I do not know, but it is probably a period of great chaos and confusion.

I say once again to him and to all of the other runners, "I believe in you and Godspeed."

LH





lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/25/17 09:15 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Good night and sleep well my twin friends. :-)

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/26/17 01:22 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

I'm up having a snack. When you go to bed as early as I do the nights seem long.

There is a scene in The Sopranos in which Chris is feeling down and says to Paulie that his life has no arc, no transformation.

You are blessed with an arc, but it's really tough, because you have got to go through a lot. The good news is you'll have a great story to tell. Chris had nuthin'.

LH





lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/26/17 07:32 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Good morning,

A funny thought just came to me.

Twins love each other unconditionally, and we view each other as absolute perfection. That means when I rip a smelly one, my twin will react as if it is the finest perfume, an olfactory elixir of love.

And, of course, the sound will be fine music to his ears like a melodious love song.

If he was in the Kingdom of Heaven and saw this post, he would let out a big hearty laugh and be amused at my audacity to write it in a public forum, because living in the Kingdom of Heaven requires being a little kid. So he would have to laugh, because a little boy would.

In the Kingdom of Heaven if you take things too seriously, God will quickly usher you to the exit door.


LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/26/17 09:14 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/26/17 07:14 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

In a post on a previous thread I used the phrase "soul alignment." But what is that? I would say it means living in accordance with one's soul, one's basic goodness.

Basic goodness is a term used by Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche. This article he wrote on the subject may be useful, because it offers a kind of pointer to what we twins are becoming.

Basic goodness is the core of who we are, the innocent child inside of us, our awakened heart--and this core is bubbling over with good humor. The image of the laughing Buddha informs me this is so. The humor is warm, and ironic, and invites others to open their hearts.

When one is living with the appreciation of one's own basic goodness, then one is living in accordance with one's soul.

I know that I'm not living in accordance with my soul with respect to my twin, so I play a part in the separation. Until I live in accordance with my soul about him, the separation will remain.

One reason I am not living in accordance with my soul about him is I feel that we are physically a mismatch, and that he is far too physically attractive than I.

If I lived in accordance with my soul, I would see my own beauty, and I would know we are a perfect match. And we are, because as twins we are mirror reflections of each other.

However, as our society dictates, I have come to identify the value of others by their physical features, and in our culture he would be considered very handsome, and so of a higher value. Therefore, I value him more than me.

My soul understands this is not who he is and recognizes that his physicality is just a costume he wears. In a past life he may have easily been someone far less "attractive," but in this life he looks as he does, because he is learning lessons about what life is like in our world for someone who looks like him. I look as I do, because I am learning lessons through my own appearance.

Our lessons vary, and that is okay, because with our combined knowledge, we will be wiser together than apart. And the lessons we learned individually may serve us as a unit. However, since I am not living in accordance with my soul, I don't accept this and continue to define us by our external features and so feel inferior.

As souls we would love each other unconditionally, but one must love oneself unconditionally first before one may love another the same. I obviously do not or I would appreciate my beauty without devaluing myself. Until I can love myself that way, the separation will continue.

I sense the conditions of my twin's life dictated he had very little opportunity to be a little boy, and so from the start he was not to live in accordance with his soul that is lighthearted and playful.

If he is consistently unable to laugh at himself, our separation will continue. For if he cannot laugh at himself, he suffers, and if he suffers, he will be unable to laugh with me and may resent my good cheer.

To live in accordance with our soul, we must roar with laughter. We must be silly. We must be warm. We must be kind.

There are other barriers in our separation, some I know, and most I do not. Ultimately, we both must be so very good to each other unconditionally, and until we can be that with ourselves, the separation will continue.

I suspect when we live in total accordance with our soul, we will look like playful kids, and the artifices and physical posture that comes with the images we portrayed in this current life will fall away. He will no longer carry himself in such an imposing way, and I will not carry myself as I do. Rather we probably will look more similar once we are reunited than we do today.

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/27/17 05:38 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Good Day My Beloved Men (The Runners),

Feeling alienated and having financial difficulties can happen.

If you are experiencing this I want to say that, like your twin counterparts who may have gone through similar trials, "You can be brave too."

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/27/17 08:35 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Oh man, my bank just went and "improved" the Bill Pay interface. Before it was great, now it's difficult to read, and the feature to a write memo, one I use, is gone. So much for improvements. I wonder what disasters await? :-(

Welcome to the 21st century.

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/27/17 10:04 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/27/17 11:26 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Word has it that when my twin and I merge, we will become enlightened.

What enlightenment means I haven't a clue, but I guess some of the characteristics are being child-like while competently attending to adult responsibilities. It also appears to mean that we live our lives in moderation, the "Middle Way," as Buddha coined it, and we approach life with skillful means in that we flexibly respond to whatever arises rather than being stuck in a pattern of rigid behavior that doesn't work.

To me it's just a word, but if enlightenment is about having child-like fun, then bring it on.

So I guess we are old souls who are living our last life on Earth, and we will not return for another. My twin and I are still under 65, but I have this running joke that if we are old souls, then we should have been on social security a long time ago.

I view the challenge for my twin in this transformation is that he is an old soul, yet because of his handsomeness, the world is unlikely to relate to him that way.

So that means it is likely from the start he was admired mostly for how he looks and not for who he is. Therefore, he may then have come to value his appearance over his inner development.

The problem in our world is there is a belief that "younger is prettier," and so as we age, there is a desperate need to turn the clock back. If people feel that their only value is their appearance, and aging is inevitable, they will find themselves in a compromising position

So if a person feels he/she has nothing inside and only values his/her looks, then when the looks "go,", what have they got? Because of this transformation my twin will escape that question for his inner beauty will be revealed to him, and that kind of beauty never fades.

One time I was watching the old game show Tattletales, and one of the questions asked of the stars was, "If you could change anything about your appearance, what would you change?" It was revealed that the late Dick Gautier wished he was not so handsome.

He had been a comedian, and he felt his looks were a liability to his success, because people don't think handsome men are funny. So he wished he was blessed with funny-looking features.

I don't think it's an accident I saw that show. It was meant to show me something that my twin might feel. This time of separation allows me ample opportunity to build compassion for him.

Investigating the trials of manhood like the Louis C.K video about sexual thoughts has deeply affected how I view men. They really suffer so. Their wiring for procreation produces a whole host of problems for which I have discovered, and I can't wait to share what I have learned with my twin.

But added to all that for my twin is the great divide between the old soul he is, and how the world views him.

I have been deeply influenced by this predilection to see him only as his appearance. I am ashamed of my superficiality, and yet society has programmed me this way.

I am excited to be free of this program, so I can have him in my life, but also it means I can embrace others in the world who suffer for being so very physically attractive. They must experience such a loneliness for being dehumanized not only by others, but by themselves. They are set apart from most of humanity and must deal with the endless jealousy of others.

Because of what I have been meant to learn through this transformation, I feel I am a better person for having my twin in my life.

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/27/17 03:00 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

It seems time is going faster than ever, yet I watched a timer, and it still takes 60 seconds for a minute to pass. So perhaps the structure of time itself has not changed, but rather our experience of it.

On the other hand, if time is relative would each second counted these days vary differently than it did year's ago? I really think the latter may be true, because it seems like when I do the usual stuff, time passes far more quickly.

Whether time is going faster or we are experiencing it that way or both is not as relevant as how we manage it. We have to navigate this speedy world, but to keep up appears to be unsustainable.

The internet is probably the most important factor that feeds the speediness of the world. Information comes at lightening pace, and so that means all the interactions around the exchange of information speeds up. Also the expectation of the response time to these interactions is now faster than it's ever been, because deadlines are based on a faster world.

The biggest challenge for time management is the use of smart phones and the internet, because when using them, one loses track of time. Before you know it, you are running late for an appointment.

So what does one do? Perhaps deliberately unplugging is a good start. But if remaining plugged in most of the time is a must, then set a timer so as not to be late for appointments. Also be sure to be all ready in advance before going online or on a smart phone.

Many people are seeing this problem and deliberately slowing down. A movement called the Slow Movement is one in which people are making changes in how they approach all facets of their lives to create a slower pace, and it's growing.

It's hard to make these changes. It does require clarity, but I think as one does make these changes, more clarity arises. Best to start with simple things and build upon them.

I am a big fan of Warren Buffett. As wealthy as he is, he leads such a humble life. He lives on $100,000 a year, and he owns the original home he bought when he started his family.

He says there is no reason to create complexity of owning multiple homes just because he can. He also loves what he does immensely. He's pragmatic and clear about who he is and his values. He is my model for the life that I hope to create.

The most astounding thing about Warren Buffett is he keeps his calendar empty. Instead of a busy schedule he would far rather sit at home and read. He can do so, because he is a big-time delegator, so that leaves lots of free time.

The one things he says is most important is to be the master of one's time, and so he has no qualms about saying no to requests to make appearances or anything else that may fill his schedule He also has a "dumb" phone and does not use a computer.

How he gets away with this, I don't know? But it appears he is deliberate in how he structures his life, and the world works around him. Just because he's a billionaire, doesn't mean we can't take a lesson from him. If Warren Buffett were my twin, I would take him in a minute. :-)

I came up with a fun thought experiment. When traveling at the speed of light, time goes slower. So I wonder if you put a Swanson's Turkey Pot Pie straight from the freezer into a timed microwave, and then traveled at the speed of light, would it ever get done? What do you think? :-)

LH






lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/27/17 07:01 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

This may be a little weird, but I like to be consistent--some of the time. :-)

I really didn't know anything about twin flames, but last year this strange thing happened that got me started on doing research.

Within 6 weeks of when I last saw my twin I could feel these loving messages come into my heart like a communication. At the same time I felt a kind of warm pressure in the same region.

I couldn't make out what was going on, and it freaked me out. After looking this stuff up I read that is was my twin's soul communicating his feelings to me unconsciously. I feel my twin was not doing this consciously, because, like most of us, he has probably not been living in accordance with his soul since his youth.

The communication stopped soon after, and I have my theories why which I look forward to exploring with him.

The idea of someone hearing your thoughts or feeling your feelings could be scary for sure. People like the privacy of their inner world, but by virtue of being twins that will not be possible. It's hard to accept, but it would be best to trust.

After all, this is the design, and we are on a mission to spread joy, so the design can only serve to enhance our joy. Sharing a mind with someone who loves you so much can only be beautiful.

Right now it may not be safe to enter the privacy of his inner world, because hurtful thoughts could come up. And God must protect our union by not allowing me to suffer. When it is safe, I will be allowed in.

Thoughts are a strange thing. They just seem to come up involuntarily. I often say that thoughts think themselves for it just feels like I have no say in the matter, but really what it is going on is an automatic program running.

I know I have grown tired of my program. Certain words used in everyday life associated with a bad memory will run a program of negative thoughts upon hearing them. Since this is the end of suffering for twins, those negative thought patterns will be programmed out of us. How nice that will be to have a spacious mind to enjoy.

Twins will then only have loving thoughts, so our inner world will become a paradise to share.

Our souls want us to be in conscious communication, and I believe that with our current heart wiring we may be at a place where we can begin.

So if you feel a longing for your twin, you could try it out, and see if you get a communication back. You can send any loving message you want using a focused deep breath and thinking the message.

Like a toddler learns to walk naturally, I am sure this will begin to happen anyway. You may be freaked out at first as I was when you hear from your twin. It is quite shocking, but later it will be as natural as breathing.

And the weirdness continues...

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/27/17 07:40 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

I just got a synchronicity. I found a promotion from a realtor in my mailbox, the usual advertisements they send in the form of a pad of paper.

It should be no surprise that the first name of the realtor is the first name of my twin, and the last name begins and ends with the same letters and has the same number of syllables.

And speaking of that, I have read that often someone you are closely connected to will have parallels with your twin, like birthdays.

My ex-husband's birthday is one day before my twin's, and his last name, the name I carry, begins and ends with the same letters and has the same number of syllables and letters, and we three were raised on the same religion.

They also grew up in the same area and went to the same college. They may have even been on campus at the same time.

This is a mystical riot.

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/27/17 09:11 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/27/17 09:57 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Good Night My Beloved Men (The Runners),

May you have sweet dreams about your twin flames tonight.

Until tomorrow,
LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/28/17 12:48 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Just a short break from a long night's sleep. If you really want to experience time going slowly, go to be really early. The nights drag on.

I remember an I Love Lucy episode with Ernie Ford. He was staying at the Ricardo's home and liked to go to bed early, so the Ricardos went to bed early to accommodate him. They woke up around 11, and Ricky asked Lucy the time. He then complains, "I feel like I have been in bed for 6 months." That's how it is for me.

I have a thing about looking up the meaning of names, and I looked up my twin's first name and his last name based on what may be his country of origin, and together they fit a metaphor I use about him. I can't wait to tell him.

In addition, my middle name is Hope, and I have wondered whether the courage he saw in me may have brought him hope. That's a nice thought.

Many years ago I did genealogy, and I discovered that my father's surname is derived from the phrase, "Good day beloved man," and I plan to greet my twin with those words each morning. That is why I have been addressing the runners that way.

What is cool to me is that I was very sad when I felt I lost my twin's rapport about a couple of years before our parting, and I always wanted it repaired, and I am so very thrilled that it will be.

I too thought I lost the rapport of my father when I was a little girl and felt wounded by that for life, and as result I have feared the abandonment of men and would sabotage relationships.

When I was cut off from my twin by his refusal, I did not believe that our rapport would ever be repaired. However, I was not devastated. I actually grew from the experience. I realized I no longer feared abandonment, and that is why this separation has not been a big problem, and with that resolved, I then enter this union free of that karmic pattern.

My twin reminds me of my father a bit, so this is really cool to have our rapport back. I never felt my father thought I was lovable, the great wound of my life, but my twin does and will express it. What a joy that will be.

I don't know if it's always true that we twins will have such healings around our parents, but I am so grateful that I will experience this lifelong wound healed.

Nightie night,
LH




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/28/17 03:29 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Just woke up again for a snack. These night's are too long.

So here's another synchronicity. In 2001 I wrote an unpublished semi-fictional autobiography called Satori.

At that time I had a mystical experience related to a simple insight that I had: I was good. Something about that insight dissolved the deeply held belief that I was bad.

The insight came at night, and the next morning I woke up changed. I felt this incredible love and saw light all around and through me. This light is ever-present, and this was the first time I could see it.

I guess this belief had held me back from my connection with my true nature, and with it dissolved, suddenly it was seen.

It may have been a prelude to what is happening today, because a satori is defined as sudden enlightenment or a glimpse of one's true nature.

The story is beautiful, and what is so lovely is the satori happened on Valentine's Day which is appropriate since I feel I experienced the beloved within.

After these experiences one often needs to review one's life, so I did so in this book. I had never experienced that level of creativity before, and it was amazing.

The mystical event was related to a guy I knew in high school that I had run from, because he showed interest in me, but I always wondered if it might have worked out, because we had a really cool spiritual connection.

I did contact him and somehow through that this mystical experience occurred. Interestingly, his birthday is February 14th.

After the contact I made with him, we parted ways. I think he ran like my twin.

I took artistic license and had my character move on and blossom from the experience, and one day the man contacted her after a loss in the family, realizing she was "the one."

I didn't use real names for the characters but rather took names from other boys I had liked in my life.

I hadn't thought about the book in a while, but one day I opened it, and I realized that the name that I used for that man was my twin's name.

I was floored. I had completely forgotten about this and realized that maybe this apparent twin flame connection was the real deal. It appears the connection with that man in 2001 was a stepping stone to the enlightenment I will experience with my twin.

Life is awesome.

LH



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/28/17 07:54 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Good Day Beloved Men,

So here's a song some might remember. Once you are wired to love rather than procreate, the theme will disinterest you. Isn't that delightful? :-)

The video reminds me of the frustration I remember when I used to play 45s. Remember these?



They were so badly designed. They would bend and break, and it was a bitch to use them, because it was hard to fit them inside the hole properly. If they did bend, they were unusable.

I never had enough around, so when the last one broke, I would try to center the record on the turntable. I never could get it just right, and I often would inevitably scratch the record. What's a little girl to do?

LH




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/28/17 03:54 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

The issue that all twins have to deal with is the alienation that comes with being in this twin flame dynamic, because it doesn't fit into any box out there.

Who can we talk to? Obsession for another human being is considered a sickness, yet for us it is part of the design that only will intensify the longer we are apart.

Friends and family cannot understand. Forget talking to a psychologist or member of the clergy. It just won't fly. There is no guide book for this except for one's own gut.

I met my twin through an organization that has certain tenets. I left it, and, knowing what I know now, I see that those tenets no longer apply to me. And I wonder if when he attends if he feels lost and confused or alien. He also may be having constant reminders of me, strange synchronicities and odd stuff that may freak him out. With all he is dealing with he may decide it is time to leave.

Many more of us may be facing similar things whether it's with family, friends, our profession, institutions, etc. Those relationships may no longer make sense to us, and it's really sad to leave it all behind. I read that before we twins come together permanently most personal relationships/agreements end or are transformed to be a better fit for our new lives.

My divorce ended an important relationship, but it had to happen to make room for my twin. However, I still co-own my home with my ex-husband, and until I sell it, the co-ownership relationship continues. Yet, I feel when I do sell, the time for our reunion will come much closer, because a whole lot of space will open up.

I had an agreement with my brother to share the cost of membership with Netflix. The membership runs out in August, and I made the decision to not share it with him anymore, because I felt that agreement should end.

It's a small thing, yet it isn't. For these little agreements keep us tied to an old way of being that will no longer be a fit. I am always on the look-out for others that I can close proactively if it makes sense to do so, because I want that space opened up. However, sometimes relationships may close naturally without one's volition.

Also, when I sell the house, my relationship with the mortgage company will end, and when I move my relationships with the utilities companies will end too. I plan to move out of the area, and if I do, my relationship with this community and neighborhood will end.

If I could talk to my twin, I would tell him how very sorry I am that things are as they are. However, God is running this not us, and who better than us fucked up human beings? :-) Wouldn't you agree? The good news is that God will not desert us, and he will see to it that we never know suffering again.

Still God is uncompromising about this, because this is the path we are destined to be on. Enlightenment is an honor to be bestowed upon us, and our current lives will not support that transformation.

My twin friends, however hard it is now, I suspect when we reunite with our twin counterparts, we won't look back.

LH



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/28/17 07:18 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/28/17 07:53 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Even though weird synchroncities have come up like the book I wrote or the pad of paper I received the other day, I still always have my doubts that this twin flame thing is real. So I have this deal with God that he give proof to convince me.

So, God, in his infinite kindness has relented and continues to give this most stubborn woman her proof.

One day God lead me to a funny synchronicity that may have been happening to my twin for a very long time. I discovered under an online white page phone listing that the website accidentally listed my twin's number under a woman whose first name is mine.

That means he may be getting constant reminders of me through misdials. My poor Dear Heart. :-(

Another strange thing keeps happening. Prior to our parting, I went to networking mixer. A bunch of us randomly sat at a table. It was mostly women and a couple of men. I would say around 7 people.

As we went around the table to introduce ourselves, there were 4 consecutive women with my first name. Also, I sometimes play badminton, and around this time I went to play, and most of the women had my name too.

It seemed at that time everywhere I went a woman had my name. It was the weirdest thing, because it's a dated name that isn't used much, but still I find young people with it too. Often I hear it paged over the loud speaker in Home Depot.

I wonder if this sort of thing is happening to my twin? He may hear my name a lot, or he may encounter his name a lot too, since God has designed me to think of him so much.

If picking up on subtle synchronicities is not his strong suit, then God probably is doing extreme things to get him to awaken to the truth of this twin flame dynamic. I wonder what they are? :-)

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/28/17 08:14 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Maybe my twin and I will be seen around town singing this song.



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/28/17 08:47 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

My Twin Friends,

Tonight's a lonely Friday night, but I take comfort that one day I will never know loneliness again.

May we all reunite soon and suffer no more. :-)

Good night.

Love,
LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/28/17 09:29 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/29/17 03:02 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Up for a snack. These 6 months pass so slowly. :-)

So the subject about ending contracts/agreements/relationships to open up space is a critical one.

In my case I have questions about my family. We were all raised to settle, and this twin flame dynamic is anything but settling. We really are "going for it" being with our ideal mate. So by not settling, I am breaking rules of my family code. Also, because my twin is so handsome and, I believe, will be quite dynamic, they will feel ill-at ease. He will not be a fit.

And we will be exceedingly happy, so jealousy may abound.

So what to do when this reunion happens? What will happen with my family relationships? I have no clue, but God will take care to see that my twin and I don't suffer. If my family's jealousy creates suffering for us, then God may distance me from my family. However, God may transform those relationships, and some of my siblings may start living in accordance with their souls and be happy for us.

I say this, because the souls all over the planet want this to happen and are thrilled about it, but the personalities connected with them may not be living in accordance with their souls, so they may be unhappy.

When one does not live in accordance with one's soul, one suffers. And suffering begets suffering, so it's best to stay away.

My ex-husband has always wanted to see me happy. The question is whether he is able to live in accordance with his soul to the degree he has the generosity to be happy for us. He may not be able to tolerate this, and so I may never see him again, and since my twin will be my number one, it will be something I will accept gracefully.

I have said that as I transform this house, I will transform. I had no idea that it would be so literal; an evolutionary leap is the biggest transformation one can make.

But right now it would be detrimental to my well-being to sell. I cannot until my transformation is completed for my house is my chrysalis, and for a butterfly to emerge unfinished from its chrysalis is deadly. So I will remain and continue to transform. It is up to God when it is time to sell, and he will let me know.

So, my friends, it's important not to end these old connections haphazardly. They may be necessary for a time while the transformation is happening. Sometimes allowing the connections to end organically is what is called for, and they may end with a beautiful grace that may move us. Such a gift that is when grace is sprinkled like fairy dust that way.

God may have us end them by burning bridges. That's the difficult way, but it happens how it happens. The space must be opened up.

God is giving me an inner make-over before he works on my outer make-over, but he has now begun to work on the outer in small ways. I am slowly making changes to my appearance. He hasn't done badly with nature, and I am as natural as any flower, so I think I am in good hands.

I am to be breathtaking when my twin arrives, because to view beauty is transformative, and transformation is what this twin flame dynamic is all about.

I will be that gorgeous butterfly I am meant to be, so I will remain in my chrysalis until it is time to emerge. :-)

LH




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/29/17 08:38 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

This morning I am off to the acupuncturist. He's expensive, but he likes me and so charges a sliding scale.

Going there is interesting, because he treats high level celebrities, and you never know who you will see. He also shares interesting stories.

Some of the women celebrities bring make-up artists, so when they leave they are assured they look good to the public. He also says that he gets booked up during Oscar week with clients who want to drop a few pounds to fit into their evening dresses.

It's clear to me that, like Facebook, this entertainment world is all about image, and the problem is that people like me who are not in the know, look at celebrities and compare our physical attributes, and it hurts.

The saddest thing is that our children are being raised to believe these images are real, so their expectations for themselves as they develop can become outrageous.

This TED Talk opened my eyes, and now when I see magazine covers of models, I understand that what I see has absolutely nothing to do with real life.

LH




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/29/17 02:48 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Good Day Beloved Men,

I found a hysterical movie clip on YouTube from The Meaning of Life. It's a musical romp to the tune of "Every Sperm Is Sacred" that comes from the Catholic notion that sperm is sacred and should not be wasted on non-baby producing activities. I don't espouse the concept of "be fruitful and multiply" in this age of over-population, but the idea of viewing sperm as sacred is food for thought.

I present to you the following syllogism: Life is a miracle and so sacred. Therefore, if life is sacred, then wouldn't it follow that that which produces life is too?

When I thought about it this way, I began to see things very differently. I realized that men do not treat their sperm sacredly at all. Without a thought they have sex with people they neither like nor love or don't know. They also release it in behavior that causes them shame.

Sperm carries DNA that represents one's genetics, one's ancestry, so it really is very special. At the same time what choice do men have when their basic survival instinct is to procreate on a daily basis?

Interestingly, I read that wired in men is something called the refractory period which after climax comes as a time to rest. Men often get tired after, because they are supposed to take time off. The refractory period is shorter for young men, but increases with age. By my age it can be on average 10-12 hours.

It would seem to me that God has built in men a kind of gate-keeping system here, but men do whatever they can to work around it with prescriptions drugs and other substances that might sustain their functionality.

Maybe if men would give the sperm factory a rest, good dopamine levels might be maintained. Given what I read in The New Celibacy, it could be possible for men not to suffer if they would listen to their bodies.

I said in a previous post that I felt that for menopausal women a loss of libido indicated that sexual energy is supposed to be sublimated into other things in life. The lengthening of men's refractory period over time indicates to me that as they get older they too may be designed to sublimate their sexual energy into other activities.

When I read online about older men who have lost their interest in sex, the articles are always about how depressed they are and remedies that might help, and it appears no one celebrates this phase of life. Maybe it is worth celebrating if what Louis C.K. says is true.

But men are wired to believe that good sexual functioning indicates their value and manhood. From a strictly survival of the species PoV, that would seem so, but I think it is a mistake not to slow down if nature intended them to do so. Our culture constantly seems to disregard nature's way, and I think we do suffer for that.

In addition, I read that often it was the women who were even more upset about a man's loss of libido. Since women too are wired to procreate, then from a survival PoV they naturally would put a premium on a man's functionality, but the added problem is women often get their sense of their desirability from the interest of their men. That's too much pressure for a man to be the source of a woman's self-esteem especially if he too is feeling inadequate.

We genders are so out of sync about sex. Can anybody really be happy?

Thankfully for you runners this box-thinking of what makes you a man will be wired out of you. You will see that you are a man by virtue of having XY chromosomes and male genitalia. What more is required to be a man? And with the new wiring when you are not snuggling with your twin, you will only desire to transmit your sacred seed to her.

So then, your sperm will always be treated with the utmost respect, and your dopamine levels will be high. There will be no concern about loss of manhood into mid-life and beyond, and you will be completely free from the suffering that men without this evolutionary adaptation endure.

People refer to having sex as "doing the deed," but I say for us it is doing the "good deed." For it is good: good for us, and good for everyone, because the energy of love that will flow out into the universe through our merging will uplift our planet.

LH









lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/29/17 05:30 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

This thread is inspired by my twin for he is my muse, and
it will be my joy to show it to him one day.

I dedicate this song to you.




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/29/17 07:09 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/29/17 07:35 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/29/17 09:53 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

So after my divorce I considered that I would probably be single for the rest of my life. I felt I was a failure as a wife, and I just wasn't cut out for couplehood, and the idea of living under the tyranny of a man's libido again was distasteful.

I have a queen-sized bed, and I love the space to stretch out. It's fantastic. I can sleep without anyone trying to wake me up for sex, so I sleep well.

But I am getting that my twin and I will share a household. I have been resistant to the idea, because I feel once that honeymoon period has ended, and you start to live together, things begin to go south.

At our age, we are set in our ways, and we may have differences about how to keep a household. He might be a neat freak while I am very casual about such things. We might disagree about diet, etc.

I have heard of couples who maintain separate households and do much better than when they live together. It seems the space gives them a breather from each other that refreshes them between visits. I would be open to that, and yet God has other plans.

So I am coming to terms with the idea I may have a housemate. The good thing about it is when I need to reach high places, I have someone who can assist. And if I need fungal cream applied to my back, there's someone close at hand to do it. :-)

It also is nice to have a bed to share sometimes so long as he doesn't snore. I had a problem with my husband snoring. He sounded like a buzz saw, and I read that women who deal with snoring in long-term marriages suffer hearing loss in the ear that is not against the pillow. So he better not snore, or we already have big issues. However, the snuggling sounds nice. A man who snuggles is a dream come true for most women.

Hopefully, God will remedy the snoring issue if it comes up, because the souls want us together all of the fucking time.

I also get it will be important to him to own a home and have a stable life, and it will be very important to him that we co-own with both names on the title.

At this point I prefer to rent. Owning a home is a lot of work and expensive, but if this is what God wants, then it's futile to disagree.

Buying at the present time is not intelligent, because the market is inflated, but bubbles do burst, and when it does, and it surely will, then buying makes sense.

I had financial problems a while ago, and my credit score was low. I discovered how to build it up relatively fast. I use my credit cards and keep below 30% utilization of the credit limit, and it is going up. I don't plan to sell my house until my credit score is high, because there is a housing shortage, and I want as much of an edge over the competition of people who want to rent.

If he has issues around his credit score, it's easy to build it up, so that he can join me on a loan. This can take time, so until the bubble bursts, it can be worked on.

It's so weird that all that I am learning may serve us. As I connect the dots I see how the pieces fit. It's grace in action.

I use a whole system around budgeting to keep my costs down. It's a splendid concept, and it will be no problem to include him in this elegant system. It's going to be so much fun.

The key is to find a location we both love, and since we will be wired to agree, then that's no problem either. Good quality of life is important, so living in places with natural beauty is a must.

So hopefully with this new wiring the bugs around our personality differences will no longer be a problem. After all, as twins, we are mirror images, so there should no longer be any differences.

If he is a neat freak that will go, because that behavior is an addiction to control one's environment. But since he will be full of dopamine, he will have no more addictions.

He will see everything as radiant even dirt, so what's the problem? And I have become much better about keeping things clean, since I live a life of simplicity. As I mature I have become more disciplined, and now I enjoy cleaning.

All this is coming to me, and it's completely nuts. But we will have everything we want, and each other.

If he were reading this he would run even faster. I know I would. LOL

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/30/17 06:23 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

I had a delightful chat with my daughter last night. Speaking of performance anxiety, I do get anxious talking to her, because she ends up getting defensive about something at the drop of the hat. For example, if I ask her a simple question like, "How was your day?," she will accuse me of being intrusive, but in spite of the bit of suffering I experienced, it went well.

I said in an earlier post that many of our relationships will become distant as twins come closer to the reunion, but other relationships will be transformed to accommodate our changes. I am thankful this one is being transformed. It seems as I become more distant from my family of origin, I am getting closer to her.

Since this is the end of suffering for us, eventually life's conditions should begin to improve. I see this is true for me now as I am able to help her out financially. That's a first, because most of our lives my ex-husband and I struggled, and she has had a most impoverished, financially unstable life. But conditions have changed for me, and for once I can do for her what I think is so very important for a parent to do.

She has worked her way through school, and it's been tough, but it's very important for her to finish, because she was a high school drop-out. With the free time that came with dropping out, she pursued international travel. Due to a large sum of money she received from her great-grandmother, she took what would have been her college fund and went on the road.

In many ways, her education from all that travel was far richer than what high school could ever offer. Because of it she is interesting and a true citizen of the world. It seems, too, she has taken the road less traveled by traveling. :-)

She keeps things from me, but one day she told me about her financial struggles, and I decided to give her $14,000 a year, the maximum gift amount that is allowed tax-free, and this has been great.

I had always wanted to pay her back for the sum of money she used for travel, because I felt that I had been remiss to allow her to be so frivolous with money that was so important for her future. The amount she used was so large that she will receive money from me for years.

Even so she continued to hide things, but one day she came clean and told me she might have to drop out, because she fell behind on her tuition payments. For some reason, and I don't know why I knew this, but I realized that if I paid her college tuition directly to her to school, I could pay an unlimited amount as a tax-free gift.

I looked at my spending, and I saw I could do this easily since I have been living far below my monthly goals, and now she is relieved to know she does not have to drop out. She had one more year to go, so it would have been devastating for her. Given what happened with high school, she has karmic patterns around finishing things, so this is big.

It's a true miracle to me what is happening between us. As I help her out financially I see her becoming more adult-like in how she is handling life. You would think it would be the opposite, but not so.

I wish I could tell her what is going on with me. I mean how many can say that their mother is undergoing an evolutionary leap? That's pretty novel and cool, don't you think? But since she would instead think her mom is insane, it's best not to worry her. However, she will see the happy results and will be quite pleased.

Who knows? Maybe she is destined to find her twin, and if she is, she can get a few tips from my twin and me. Hopefully, she will not have to go through this long, arduous separation, and her twin counterpart doesn't have to go through the insanity of running

I have read that the young are finding their twins too, and maybe since they haven't lived as long, they don't have the deep layers of conditioning we do and so don't have to go through this. Also, as I said before, these millennials naturally have the kind of values that are required to live as we twins will, so these younger twins are better prepped for this than we old-timers.

I have felt my twin, my daughter, and I are cut from the same cloth, and if my relations with her keep improving, then I think we will have a fun time together. It's beautiful.

LH








lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/30/17 08:41 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/30/17 09:25 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/30/17 10:00 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

In a previous post I mentioned several variables at play that I felt are negatively impacting the functionality of our world, and I pointed out that to me the most detrimental is the ubiquitous use of smart phones.

Louis C.K.'s video I posted is pointing in the right direction, but there is so much more to the story. I applaud Louis C.K. for being more deliberate about his behavior. This is the very approach we twins need to avoid the societal traps that will keep us in suffering.

The problem with smart phones is the dopamine loop associated with them because of texting and the internet access. These features are addictive, because there is a rush of anticipation each time a text or email comes in.

It's as if we have made our cell phones our God, because we feel unprotected without them. If one drives off without his/her phone, there is a tension and fear that ensues. We must have our phones with us at all times.

I know I have an issue with addiction to email, and I am checking it all of the time seeking that dopamine rush. It is so addictive that when I email something to myself, I also get the rush. Fortunately, I have my laptop at home, but if I had a smart phone and went out in the world, I would have the source of my addiction with me all of the time. That concerns me, and that's why I am hesitant to get one.

The browsing, the tweeting, the Facebook, etc. all produce that dopamine rush. Even posting here on this board is having this effect, but it appears that this addiction I have is being used in the service of my fellow twins. Therefore, this process is contained and temporary. For when my twin and I reunite this need for a dopamine rush will be gone, because I will be overflowing with it.

What I have observed is people cannot focus, because they are constantly interrupted by texts and emails. And even when they are not receiving any, they cannot focus in anticipation that they might. So people are scattered and forget things, because they can't concentrate. They can't focus on work or conversations or much of anything.

They find it uncomfortable to have their phones off. Even if their phones are in vibrate mode, the vibration disrupts them. I also have heard that turning off the smart phones is becoming inconvenient, because the technology is such that when turning them on it could take a long time to load. These days people just don't have the patience to wait, because we have grown accustom to the speed of information and results. Therefore, many people don't turn them off.

Also, it's so bad that people sleep with their phones, and I read that this is causing widespread insomnia. So you combine the insomnia with the ADHT type of behavior, and you have a whole planet of people whose minds are not present.

Every organization, institution, business, etc. all depend on individuals. So if all the individuals in these entities are not present, the results are catastrophic.

The recent stock market scares indicates to me that we really are in a very precarious situation with the state of mind of everyone. If people across the world do not have mental clarity, mistakes of all kinds will be made. And mistakes that are made and are to be remedied are done so with the very kind of minds who made the mistakes. So who really is qualified to manage quality control?

Then we have our products that are designed and manufactured by people that are not present like airplanes and cars. It's scary to think about. Even if we have robots or software automating the processes, they too are designed by people who are not present.

It's the same with services. The other day after my acupuncture appointment, I caught a needle was still in my leg. My acupuncturist has never done this, but I observe when I call him on off-hours his office phone is forwarded to his cell phone.

Prior to learning this, I had called him late at night assuming the message would be there in the office for him in the morning. He picked the damn phone up, and I was shocked and embarrassed, but it is clear to me that he is being affected by a phone addiction. Fortunately, he's a great doctor and seems focused when he treats me, but still I need to keep a watch on him. You just never know when a person's de-evolution will begin affecting his/her performance.

Our brains are wired to take in only so much information, and we are being flooded and overwhelmed with it. And, in addition, we also are addicted to receiving it. We just aren't designed to take in that much.

My biggest concern is that children are being introduced to these devices so very young. The natural development of children's minds are being damaged with these addictive devices. Their very brains are being wired to be Swiss cheese.

They are our future. How can they be of any service if they are as screwed-up as the rest of society? They won't be able to be useful at all.

I feel in my gut that the reason for this evolutionary adaptation we are undergoing has to do with the fact that the people on our planet will no longer be able to manage it. And it is up to us to do what we can to help, if we can.

Mental clarity will be our greatest asset, because so long as we are in this world, we must navigate it well. We have roles to play, and we cannot do so unless our minds are crystal clear.

Our mental clarity will be sought after, because it will be a rare commodity. People won't be able to think clearly, and we may be called upon to assist them to see the order in the chaos.

It may become paid work, volunteer work, or just being a friendly neighbor. However, just because we may be highly sought after doesn't mean we have to say yes. If we always say yes, we will lose control of own time.

When asked for help, if it appears that the people are so dysfunctional that no difference can be made, walk away. There are disasters waiting to happen everywhere, and we must stay clear of them.

We cannot save the planet. That is not our job. We are just to spread joy. So we focus on our joy and mental clarity, and we let God take care of the rest.

I have something I tell myself when I feel uncomfortable about saying no to someone, I tell myself, "Let the universe take care of itself." And you know what? It always does, and it always will.

LH



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/30/17 01:36 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

For this twin flame dynamic the separation is good for our union. That means all the forces keeping us apart now serve our union. Those who are not in support of this union are in support of it, and circumstances in our lives that appear to make it seem that the reunion cannot happen are ensuring it will. It's a strange paradox.

Those who have been against it who are meant to see the strange irony of this may be transformed and so will bless this union. They may even have the good fortune to see the irony as humorous, shrug their shoulders, and laugh like a Buddha.

If they are able to see the greater good in that what they are doing is an important contribution to this holy union, they may feel amazed that they were chosen to play such an important role in something so significant to the human race.

This brings me back to an insight that has arisen. Because of this strange paradox, I see here that the good and the bad serve the good. The twins who are suffering from this separation may see it as bad and the reunion as good. But given this paradox it is all good.

If it's all good, and good is God {go(o)d}, then whether someone supports this union or is against it, they serve God. The only difference is the degree of suffering one endures, and that is based on which side one is on, because resistance brings suffering, and embracing brings joy.

It is difficult to look at the "bad" stuff in life, whether it is personal or planetary, as good. However, if one can see a way to do that, a radiant peace takes over.

If one believes that death isn't real, then death may no longer be seen as bad, but I cannot make peace with the idea of people suffering. Some degree of suffering I can, but really horrific suffering I can't.

There is suffering for which is completely unimaginable in developing countries or even in our own backyards, and some may experience that kind of suffering for a very long time. So, I ponder how I can make peace with this, and I just can't.

It will become obvious to my twin and me that all the suffering we endured was a gift. This seems impossible to believe, but when we sit together and look over our lives, we will see why this is so.

For example, I moved to this geographical area not by choice. I don't like it here. It's not walkable; it's not a fit for me, and the summers are hell, but being here brought me to my twin, and that is good.

My marriage was not a great one, but I grew from it, and it made me the good person I am today. So many of the skills I acquired in that marriage will serve my life with my twin perfectly. It was a blessing.

One day my twin and I will reunite and talk a lot about this, and it will be a joy to see him look back on his life, shrug his shoulders, and laugh like a Buddha.

LH





lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/30/17 02:41 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/30/17 05:42 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/30/17 06:30 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

I have a cool name dropping story I want to share.

Back in the day the hospital I was born in was very small, so recovery rooms were shared. My mother told me that after my birth she shared a recovery room with Patricia Lawford, wife of Peter Lawford and sister of then President John F. Kennedy. Just like my parents, The Lawfords too were blessed with a baby girl born that day.

My mom observed Peter Lawford dressed in his tennis clothes enter, and he and his wife placed a call to JFK to get his opinion on a baby name. Also, my grandmother passed the rat pack in the hallway. I figured they must have been looking through the nursery window to see me. :-)

Years ago I was feeling silly, so I found Robin Lawford's address and sent her a letter. I enclosed a copy of my birth certificate and told her about our shared birth and that I was open to hearing from her to see where life had taken her. As one might guess I never heard from her.

I started the letter in reference to the following Steven Wright quote:

 Quote:
“Two babies were born on the same day at the same hospital. They lay there and looked at each other. Their families came and took them away. Eighty years later, by a bizarre coincidence, they lay in the same hospital, on their deathbeds, next to each other. One of them looked at the other and said, 'So, what did you think?”


I wish I could warn my twin that these are the kind of antics he should expect of me, but if I told him I am sure he would run even faster. :-)

LH

Here's Robin with her daddy and godfather, Uncle Bob.




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/31/17 06:50 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Your twin may come into your dreams. I read that once we have one mind, we literally will dream together. That's spooky.

These two are my favorites:

\:\) My twin and I are in bed on our bellies fully clothed looking at each other laughing really hard. I have never seen him laugh this way before. It was delightful.

\:\) My twin and I are in the UK, and he's running around like an exuberant child taking it all in. He's especially delighted with the Big Ben clock tower. He's all smiles, and his eyes are a shining and are a different color.

I've read that in moments when the pure soul is coming through, your twin's eyes appear a different color. I saw this on a couple of occasions with him, the same color as in the dream.

In those moments all this love was in his eyes. I don't think the man was aware of any of this at all. That's so weird to me that your soul can communicate while the rest of you has no clue. That must have been so, because I don't think he was happy with me at the time.

I wonder if he saw my eyes looking at him that way? I swear if they were, I didn't know. I was not in love, but all that's changed now. :-)

LH



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/31/17 07:58 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

In a previous post I mentioned several variables at play that I felt are negatively impacting the functionality of our world, and one of them is Trump's presidency.

Of course, many are in agreement that his policies appear to be destructive to the country's well-being, but to me that is really a small part of the problem. The larger problem is the impact his presidency has on humanity given its current state of mental deterioration.

His hate-mongering and fear inducing behavior puts people in a state of fight-and-flight. They fear economic disaster and negative policies against minorities. It goes on and on.

What living in fight-and-flight does to one's mind is to destroy any chance to cultivate clarity. It also puts people in constant panic, and this affects the well-being not only of their minds but of their bodies too. Our design cannot tolerate the level of stress brought on by him in addition to all the other variables I have described.

When people live in this kind of fear, their addictions intensify, because addictions are used to comfort. So addictions to phones, sex, food, internet, etc. worsen, and people who have been able to recover from addictions may find themselves relapsing.

The intensification of addictions will be world-wide, because his effect creates panic everywhere. Those addicted to hate will become more hateful. Those addicted to violence will become more violent. Those addicted to money, will become more greedy, and on it goes.

He provokes and pushes buttons of so many. Women have wounds from our socialization, and he opens them up. Minorities have their own. Many people are like walking wounds, and so they suffer. And what does suffering beget? More suffering, so this means there is a whole lot more aggression on this planet. And I can't imagine it will get better.

I see young people who are doing ear-gauging and have excessive tattoos, and it appears to me that they are turning this aggression inward. I read that changing one's appearance causes a dopamine rush. If their addictions intensify, who knows how far they may go in mutilating their bodies. Just because something is fashionable, doesn't mean it serves one's well-being.

Plastic surgery and the use of Botox to enhance beauty and reduce the appearance of aging also can be an addiction. Changing one's appearance is fine if done moderately, but these days it appears to be excessive addictive behavior. In an effort to feed this addiction women and men look more distorted than ever, and this will intensify.

It is a strange irony that people who may already look lovely or handsome and seek to look more attractive, and the result is they get ugly.

I hope my twin is not falling under this addictive spell, because it can happen to anyone. If he were considering changing his appearance, I would tell him, "DON'T YOU CHANGE A THING!" :-)

LH



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/31/17 10:33 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/31/17 11:43 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/31/17 07:35 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/31/17 08:26 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
07/31/17 09:41 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Many states are legalizing marijuana. I don't smoke it myself, because maintaining my mental health is my top priority. I have had some challenges in the past, and I've worked very hard to be where I am. I don't want to compromise the success I have achieved, so I don't take such risks. For for people like me it can be quite risky.

Because of excessive mental deterioration these days, I don't feel it's a good idea to legalize marijuana. As I pointed out, in flight-and-flight addictions intensify, so to make one more addictive substance readily available is not wise.

On the other hand, since people are voting for the legalization, it's obvious it's something the market desires. We are a market-driven society, so the market will win. However, just because the market wins, doesn't mean that what it wants is prudent.

I have read that the THC level is so high now that some people are going psychotic. Some may say it's only people who are on the borderline, but while my mother was prescribed marijuana, and took the appropriate amount directed by her doctor, she began to hallucinate. I kind of wished she stayed on it, because it made for interesting conversation, but I diverge. :-)

If used excessively, alcohol and other drugs including marijuana may reduce the efficacy of psycho-pharmaceuticals in some people. That means with pot being more readily available, we may see increased psychosis, depression, and manic episodes.

With all these people whose medications are not working using smart phones, you can see how bad things can get. People in all walks of life are medicated for mental illness, so this is very impactful to us all.

I won't go into young people smoking pot, because you already know my take on what is happening to them, but it isn't good.

You can see how mental clarity will be a very rare commodity in this world. If there was as big a market for mental clarity as there is for pot, I would have more hope.

LH




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/01/17 09:51 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

I don't know about the paths of other twins, but mine appears to follow a path that was written about in a twin flame article.

The "spiritual twin," the stayer, serves as one that is observed by the "worldly twin," the runner. The worldly one is to be a witness to his twin's way of handling her struggles. For the worldly one the observation provides inspiration and knowledge. From what I can tell this knowledge he gains through observation assists him on his spiritual path.

I read recently that runners have begun to desire online connections with their counterparts, so it's possible he may be looking at this thread. How this is possible, I haven't a clue, since as far as I know he is not into energetic healing. However, if he desires this connection, then, God, in his infinite wisdom, may have manifested for him his wish.

Some old threads I had up that I have since removed had themes about me that would have easily identified who I am, so if he did come here and saw them, he would know it's me.

I hope he is here, because I believe what I am writing is vital to lead him through this separation. He would then be learning about me and continue with that observation.

I feel as the spiritual one that I serve as his guiding light. So if he is in darkness, he may need that light now more than ever. So when I share things here, part of it is done in the hope I lighten his load with music, humor, and the expression of a deep abiding belief in him.

In addition, I tell him a bit about my life, and I provide important knowledge to assist him, so that he may wake up from the dream for that is what enlightenment is. We recognize the human condition, see the irony of it, and laugh.

Therefore, the writing itself may serve the process of his transformation as did his observation of me prior to our separation. Therefore, he may be drawn to read this thread.

Still, I do not know if he is even aware of this website, so I could be wrong, but I write in the hope that I am correct. If not, it makes me happy to write, and maybe the writing makes others happy and assists them in their transformation for I have been lead to believe that my writing has that effect.

If what I hope is correct, God is so brilliant to set this up as he has. For it was made clear by my twin that I am not to connect with him directly, and, yet, as a typical runner, he would long to hear from me.

The spiritual ones generally have lead lives as outsiders to mainstream culture and usually are lonely, often experience depression, and go inward. However, as outsiders we are in the best position to observe the world objectively, and so we set the foundation for waking up our twin.

I can vouch that this has been my life, and if this the reason for my alienation is true, I feel vindicated, because I thought something was deeply wrong with me that I could not fit in, but it appears that maybe nothing was wrong with me, but that life was scripted in this way to serve this role.

The worldly ones are entrenched in the mainstream culture and so cannot see the societal constraints that cause them to remain "unawakened." Why God created such a design, I don't know. Perhaps what the worldly learned may serve both twins in very important ways.

I feel intimidated by my twin, because, being worldly, he appears to navigate the mainstream better than me. And my unworldliness has made me terribly insecure. For me it's hard to believe that such a worldly one would have interest in me, but he must, because he is my twin.

My twin too may feel intimidated by me, because I have gone deeply in self-reflection, and he has not. It may make him feel shallow, and this may be hurt him. Also, this acceleration of my spiritual progress he observed may make him feel inferior.

And so, we may both experience these insecurities about what we lack reflected back to each other. It's a funny paradox that I have felt that being with him is such a leap for me, but he may feel the same about me.

The funny thing is the first time I saw him, I felt he was uppity, and someone who would never notice me. As it turns out, I was dead wrong for he is designed to notice me and observe me quite intently. This path has been full of these kind of ironies that will no doubt make us laugh like Buddhas.

We are old souls of the same soul-age, so no one can truly be farther along. It's simply that our personalities have not caught up with the wise souls we are. However, the information we have garnered through our separate paths will be shared and that combined wisdom will enable us to collaborate well.

Together we will balance out, for I have been unbalanced being too spiritual at the cost of proper socialization, and he has been unbalanced, living too worldly at the cost of his spiritual development.

We must learn to walk in both the spiritual world and the mainstream world for this is what the enlightened skillfully do, and so our separate experiences combined will allow us to do just that as one.

At this point I feel I am beginning to understand how walking the two worlds is possible, and that is indicated in the blueprint of a lifestyle that is being revealed to me. The worldly suffer so, but since it's the end of suffering for us, then another approach to life in the mainstream is vital.

If he is reading this, he may feel I am trying to change him, but that is not so. I am just living my life and revealing my authenticity. After a time, if he concludes that he likes what he hears, he may desire the lifestyle proposed and end the separation.

This separation could take time for his way of life is all he knows, and he may feel comfortable with it. Why would he choose any other way?

I'm fine with the separation, because it would be detrimental to our union to reunite if he does not embrace this blueprint. So, until he does, the blueprint will be revealed in greater detail, and I will share it here. If he is seeing what I share, he has the opportunity to evaluate if it's the life for him.

Whether he is reading this or not, by writing what I am, I contribute to those who are not happy in their lives and suffer. If they wish to seek an alternative that may bring them more happiness, I offer it here.

This is a service that delights me. More happiness derived by others through my writing is satisfying, and I am grateful to those who take the time to read the words I share. :-)

LH




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/01/17 10:34 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/01/17 02:19 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/01/17 06:15 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/01/17 07:38 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/01/17 08:51 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

We twins will be liberated from the ghosts of our past and free to live healthy, sane lives. It will wash out in the water for us. :-)




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/01/17 09:20 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

"Good Night Beloved Man" wherever you are.

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/02/17 01:20 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Time for a break during this long night's sweet. Oh these 6 months seem forever. :-)

I am posting this song only because it's beautiful, but don't worry my friends; this theme does not apply to us.




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/02/17 01:34 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/02/17 09:10 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Yesterday's post was a bear to write.

I spend a lot of time on these posts editing before I publish them. I go over them with a fine-toothed comb looking for spelling, grammatical, and punctuation errors, and I still miss things. Yesterday's post had several errors even though I took an exorbitant amount of time on it. The board only allows for a 6 hour window to edit posts, so once those 6 hours pass, "It is what it is." God knows if I was a smart phone user, how many more errors there would be?

So that brings me to what I am seeing online: chronic glaring spelling errors. I've never seen this before, and it's the same with YouTube videos. As always, I attribute this phenomenon as further evidence of worldwide mental deterioration.

My ex-husband told me he's seeing the same thing with highly regarded newspapers too. What's happening with the editors? I re-pose the question, "Who will be qualified to do quality control?"

This is off-topic, but I wanted to bring up my ex-husband for it fascinates me. Like the rest of the people in my life, we are rarely in touch. We get on well, so it must be another example of space opening up for this twin flame reunion.

On the rare occasion we are in contact, I observe tremendous growth in him, and many of his insights are similar to mine. I don't know if he will be in my life anymore once I am with my twin. My twin comes first, but if it serves our union for my ex-husband to be in our lives, maybe we will all be friends. That would be nice for my daughter to have two important men in her life get on that way.

I don't know if my twin would think such friendships are possible, but we all are moving into a new consciousness where such things can happen. It could be why my ex-husband is advancing to be readied for a most unusual bond. Time will only tell.

But I digress, and did I ever? Now I forgot why I started this post. Oh, yes, errors online. :-)

So last week I saw such a funny error. I was looking at a twin flame healer's LinkedIn page, and under her education she listed a "Batchler's" Degree. I burst out laughing. Don't you think if you want to show your educational credentials, you would spell the degree you earned correctly? It certainly puts into question her credibility in terms of her honesty and/or the quality of the education she received.

This is a LinkedIn page, a very important promotional vehicle to present oneself in the best light. I don't care if she is an "advanced soul," her mind clearly is deteriorating.

So it appears that not only is the quality of goods and services going down but also the online promotion of those goods and services. Things are getting pretty nutty out there.

LH


It looks like I am not the only one who goes over things with a fine-toothed comb.




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/02/17 11:25 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/02/17 12:07 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Oh joy! My bank statement just arrived. For me the highlight of each month is balancing my checking account.

I get such an awesome dopamine rush just seeing the statement arrive, and then there's the thrill when I balance the account to the penny!

Thank God boredom will be wired out of my twin, or we're in big trouble. :-)





LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/02/17 01:00 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Yes...to the penny!!!

Hark, I hear the rapid footfalls as my twin gasps for air. Being a runner in mid-life is treacherous. :-)

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/02/17 01:20 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

This is a helpful quiz to determine your vibration level. It may be useful to have when applying for credit, because credit bureaus now recognize one's vibration is a good indicator of creditworthiness. :-)

http://www.twinflames1111.com/blog/quiz/whats-your-true-energy-vibration/


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/02/17 05:12 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

I wasn't kidding about the hellish weather here. It's the worst today: 100 degrees and very humid. I went for short walk to visit my PO box, and that's all I could take. It's a scorcher. And, of course, in the area I want to live it's a mere 78.

I had hoped I would be out of this area by now, but until my twin gets his ass in gear, I may be here for 10 more years. I do suspect I will relocate and have myself established before we reunite, so he's off the hook. :-)

On the same subject, back in high school when I was super-depressed, enlightenment sounded like a cool concept, but I was under the impression I could do it solo. Turns out that's not true, and I have got to wait on this guy. I wish I had known. :-)

A key aspect to the lifestyle blueprint being revealed to me is the concept of minimalism whereby one keeps the ownership of one's possessions to a minimum.

I like to travel light, and soon I will live just that way. I already have been discarding all I can, and since most of the remaining items are already boxed up, I plan to finish up discarding the rest once I move into my new space. In addition, with the reduction of quality of goods, it makes sense not to invest in them. So not only will I have less crap, but I will have less crappy crap.

It's going to be a free and easy life. I will have just what I need, and what I have will be quality so long as I can still find quality goods. It won't be an impoverished life, but rather one with a feeling of great spaciousness.

I recently watched a documentary about minimalism, and it was suggested before making a purchase to ask, "Will this add value to my life?" The words deliberate and intentional were used often, and I do love those words.

In order for one to live a life of sanity, making deliberate, intentional choices is critical or else one finds oneself a slave of too many things to store and maintain and too little time to enjoy life.

I am so very excited about finally living values authentic to who I am. With or without my twin, I will have the lifestyle of my dreams. If we never reunite, we'll try again in the next life. There's always time for enlightenment. :-)

LH








lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/02/17 05:14 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/02/17 07:08 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/02/17 09:16 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Good night Beloved Man. Sweet dreams.

LH






lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/03/17 01:47 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

I am always looking for clues my twin is reading this. Psychic connection is common with twins, but it's hard to tell what is real.

I just woke up from a dream that my twin is grading my posts, and he says that I overuse the word "live."

Sounds like it could be him: critical. That trait causes suffering, and since it is the end of suffering for us, that trait will be wired out of him. There can be no reunion until it is.

A man who criticizes a love letter must be suffering terribly, and the saddest of all is that he suffers all the more when he causes suffering to others. It's a lonely existence.

The failure of romance with the current wiring comes from one party's fear of a loving act and so pushes the other party away. With that dynamic there can be no happiness, and that is why I haven't wanted to get romantically involved again. Because my standards have gotten so high, it appears an evolutionary leap is required for me to try again. :-)

I hope he is not suffering from my overuse of suffering, or I may hear about it. :-)

LH











lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/03/17 02:34 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/03/17 08:44 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Last night after writing my post I felt a strange sensation of sadness and regret from my twin. However, my twin may not be aware of this thread at all, and it could have been his soul, who is always with me, being nonlocal.

His soul may have been expressing regret over the personality's behavior toward me in the past. As I said before, if my twin is not living in accordance with his soul, then his soul can still communicate something without the person being aware of it. That's why it's impossible to get true evidence of the physical person reading this unless I hear from him through 3D means.

Still, I just woke up from a dream that I was working on a school project. I was making a film, and it was cool and funny. A few of the Beatles and Monty Python actors, friends of mine in the dream, did a bit of acting in it.

It was black and white, and it had a feel about it like Young Frankenstein. Even Marty Feldman, playing Igor, was in it, standing on stilts and wearing high platform shoes.

I was struggling with the soundtrack trying to figure out what I should cut. It had 3 Stevie Wonder love songs to choose from, and it was clear the song "I Believe (When I Fall in Love)" had to stay. Obviously, these songs would not be a match for such a film, but that's how dreams are. :-)

The technology I was using did not make sense. I had a handheld cassette tape recorder for sound, and it was a challenge to sync it up with the film. In addition, I was upset because the project was due that morning, and I was sure that the sound source wouldn't be loud enough for the classroom to hear. I was desperate to find a larger tape recorder, but I didn't know how I could. I haven't a clue how I was projecting the film.

I think the time era of this dream was the pre-digital age, but if the era was today, then I suppose I would have used a smart phone. However, you know my take on smart phones. :-)

I don't remember much else except I showed the film, and people laughed. And the teacher was pleased and told me I had many talents, and that I was going somewhere in life.

I remember at the end, looking in the bathroom mirror while washing my cheery, smiling face, feeling happy to know that, in spite of my years, I had plenty of time to do all kinds of cool things.

If my twin is reading this with his physical eyes and may be making amends, "thank you." :-)

If only he knew that if he were with me, it is insured, in spite of his \:\( advanced \:\( years, he too would have plenty of time to do all kinds of cool things.

LH






lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/03/17 08:49 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/03/17 09:52 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/03/17 10:10 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/03/17 10:48 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/03/17 03:10 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

As I trace things over the last couple of years, I see a most interesting connection with my twin and my mother.

I had been casually acquainted with my twin for a time, and at one point it seemed his fondness for me had increased. I mistook his friendliness as a romantic interest, and due to my insecurities, I pulled away.

After that our rapport was damaged, and I was sad about it. I had hoped to one day tell him why I pulled away, because I had felt I had hurt him.

About a year later my mother had gotten very sick and was waning. Strangely, the more she deteriorated and approached death, the more vital and alive I became, but I didn't know why.

All that I can figure is that we were energetically corded in such a way that she was feeding off of me like a parasite, and for some reason the cord was dissolving. Most people I know remain corded to their parents even after their parents die, and that accounts for the baggage we continue to carry. It's as if our parents still control us from the grave, so this was unusual.

Late one night just days before her death, she came to me remotely and said, "I'm letting you go," and I knew then she was releasing me. I don't think she had that stance with my other siblings, for they seem the same.

Soon after she died, I had an urgent need to tell my twin why I had pulled away, and so I did. Once I did, things got even more strained than before, but that's another story.

Now that I look at this in the context of the twin flame dynamic, I see that what may have been happening is that the cord between my mother and me was dissolving, and that I was to connect instead with my twin. Given my conservative family culture, my mother would not have been comfortable with him, so it could not have happened any other way.

I understand that all our cording with others will dissolve so that we may fully be corded with each other. For me that means, of course, my ex-husband, friends, blood relatives, etc.

Though I am optimistic that my ex-husband may take to this well, I don't know. It may be painful to him to see me with my twin, because my ex-husband isn't as "handsome" and might feel threatened. Also, my twin and I will be exceedingly happy, and my ex-husband may be jealous or hurt, because we couldn't have that.

The twin mission is to be unapologetically joyful, and we could not be otherwise, since our design is only to be joyful. Therefore, my ex-husband may not be able to take it.

So knowing this, I ponder what my twin may need to face if he has blood relatives whose presence will not serve the well-being of our union, or if he shares a parental role with an ex-wife(s), and the relations are strained. This would be problematic for the sharing of children makes the cord to one's ex-spouse difficult to dissolve, and the strain would harm our union.

When I divorced, I made a vow that I would not become a bitter divorcee. The thought of carrying that kind of bitterness repelled me. Still, my ex-husband has a girlfriend, and it troubles me. This feeling is natural, and I am confident will fade as I pursue my dream lifestyle, but such things don't change for everyone.

So my hope is he doesn't share a parental role with a difficult ex-wife(s), for it would be a deal breaker for me. If he does, then God will mercifully find a way to clear the path for our union. :-)

LH










lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/03/17 04:29 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/03/17 04:35 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/03/17 04:36 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/03/17 04:45 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/03/17 06:09 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/03/17 06:29 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/03/17 06:34 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/03/17 06:37 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/03/17 09:10 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Part of the twin flame dynamic is a period of tension and resentment with each other.

My twin and I experienced this prior to the separation, and I am not clear what happened there.

The decision-making process of our organization is one that loosely follows Robert's Rules of Order, and it appeared we became entangled in a political disagreement that, unbeknownst to me, was exacerbated by this twin flame dynamic.

I wasn't in disagreement with him at all, but it appeared we got our wires crossed, and he took offense with me. I was confused and sad.

I was of fond of him, and I wished we could have talked it out, but I was too scared, because I had feelings for him. This all started happening after I had confessed to him my reason for pulling away, and thus the strain that ensued.

I feel for those twins who meet up in a work environment. It must be hell. Fortunately, ours was of a voluntary nature.

The following may be difficult for you all to understand, because it addresses something specific between us, but I need to write this should he be looking at this thread.

If he is looking, I feel I want to use this opportunity to make peace between us. Forgiveness is an important aspect of the twin flame dynamic, and perhaps if it can be worked out some prior to the reunion that would be optimal. If the reunion never happens, clearing the air is a good idea for when we meet up in the next lifetime. I don't know if that's true, but I want to hedge my bets. :-)

"To my twin: The motion I made was not an affront on you. It was such a confusing time, and now that I understand that our connection was not ordinary, it makes sense to me why there was so much tension.

Also, the thing you did that caused the confusion that prompted me to make that motion was such a sweet gesture, and I was grateful, but I never said so. I regret that.

I wished that after the meeting I had come up and thanked you and then told you of my confusion. I would have wanted to suggest that we draft that motion together, but I suspect there was some politics going on with your co-leaders, so it might not have been appropriate. I didn't know the back story about the politics going on, but I did feel the tension.

I regretted those emails I sent to you and the co-leaders. They were long and contradictory. I cannot afford to do such things in the real world. Too much is at stake if I put off clients as I did with you all.

I learned a lot about the decision-making process used in board rooms through observing the workings of our organization. Not being worldly, it was important for me to participate. The motions I made were training ground for me to learn how to handle such things in real life. In business, I may have to deal with those situations, so the experience was gold.

Also, I felt you showed skill in how you ran that meeting, and I think you have the making of a good leader.

It was strange how I got out of the organization, but it was for the best, and I hope you are making progress in your work. You are a good man. Good night, my friend."


Thanks everyone for indulging me.

LH



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/04/17 03:55 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

I am up again. I've got three more months to go until the morning. :-)

I've discovered the most important thing that can transform the very foundation of one's life, self-care. These days I practice "radical self-care."

Self-care is not all about going to a spa or taking a relaxing bath, though it can be. I mean taking the most excellent care of oneself. It can be small things like putting on a coat when it's cold to big things like walking away from an abusive situation.

I find every time I take such actions, God rewards me after. And so no matter how scary an act may be, it's becoming easier.

I may feel there could be a terrible backlash when I treat myself with value, because others may not be pleased, but when I do, the universe reflects back to me my value.

Transforming a life can start in little ways. You see something you know you should attend to that you have been putting off, and then you finally do it. Then you look for another thing, and it goes on and on.

You may get positive feedback either through a sense of pride, relief, or from some unexpected good thing that comes along. When that positive feedback comes, then the behavior is reinforced and so becomes more natural. Eventually it becomes second nature, and that's a lovely way to live. Then life begins to open up.

Transforming a life is not an overnight thing. It takes time, but it can happen. Life can get better. And when you start doing these small acts, you get in a kind of flow. It's as if God points out the next indicated action to take to improve your life's conditions.

You still may have other areas that you are mistreating yourself, but so long as there continues to be positive acts going on at the same time, then progress to a new life is certain.

It's best to be gentle with yourself about these old habits, because you can't help but do them for that's how you always have. It's no big deal. So long as you continually dig yourself out of the hole with positive acts, then you are well on your way to living well.

I have pissed off so many people when I do these things, but I swear, life has gotten so much sweeter. Still, it's important to pick your battles. Some people are dangerous, and so it's best to be careful there, but sometimes even with those people, you may get a clear instinct to act, and so you do. When there is clarity like that, then things begin working in miraculous ways.

This brings me to a few more things I feel moved to tell my twin.

My friend, I was impressed with the three times you set boundaries with me. The first was painful to me, but it was good. It was your act of self-care to protect yourself, and by you taking that action, it forced me to practice self-care by leaving the organization. In that way, it was mutually beneficial.

I had hoped that for you the rewards came through your act as the many rewards that came to me.

Your second act was the most difficult for me to take, but, again, I imagined that through that act the rewards for you must have been many.

When I think about it, that action inspired this separation, and that is fantastic, for this separation is the key to potentially many good things. So thank you for that.

Your third act also was hard to take. Some day I hope to explain what was going on here that lead me to reach out to you. I was getting a kind of psychic message that you liked hearing from me, and then you rebuked me.

I still don't know if those psychic messages were true or maybe it was your soul speaking to me rather than you. I felt bamboozled and confused by that. And that is why if you ever did try to consciously contact me psychically, I would not take it seriously. I will only consider real those communications that are physical like an email or phone call.

I never believed in this psychic stuff before. It's weird to talk about such things now so casually, but what I believe has no bearing on what is happening. It is clear now that life will never be the same for me, but so long as I practice radical self-care, then I think I will be fine.

There is so much more I want to say to you, and I hope one day I can. There still remains unfinished business and amends to make, and maybe I will take care of that here. One can never tell.

Bye for now.


So I guess that was my act of self-care during these wee hours. Who can say what the rewards will be? If my twin is not aware of this thread, I still feel great to get that out in the open.

Thanks again for your patience.

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/04/17 07:16 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/04/17 07:33 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/04/17 08:07 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

I had this friend who I think is similar to my twin. He was often miserable, because the world didn't behave the way he thought it should. So, as you can imagine, his life was a constant frustration. Any behavior that did not meet his approval he would call "weird," but he was far from "normal."

He told me he was wired this way and that he could only see what was wrong. He said he could never do sales, because he would only be able to tell a potential customer what was wrong with the product.

He is a very smart guy and capable, but prior to being laid off, he was given a poor job review for having an attitude problem. Once laid off, he realized he wasn't cut out for working anymore, so he retired early.

He enjoys his retirement, but he spends most of it complaining about nearly everything.

He was this way with me, but eventually he aggressively turned it on me, and the friendship ended. I felt so free when it did, because I no longer had his obnoxious voice running through my head.

He was an anxious guy prone to panic attacks, so I believe this need to control his environment was an approach to calm his anxiety. However, I would not comply, and so his anxiety grew to such a degree he could no longer tolerate me.

It was not my job in life to relieve his anxiety, and so I was happy to be fired. I guess to him I had an "attitude problem."

I understood it was his wiring, and it was not his fault, but just because it wasn't, doesn't mean he was good company to keep. Since I felt happy without him that indicates I was better off without him.

The world behaves as it does, so it's futile to expect it to do otherwise. When all else fails, it's better to laugh like a Buddha. Today with the way the world is behaving this is more true than ever. :-)


LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/04/17 09:33 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/04/17 01:38 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

A very sad thing is happening to me. I was writing a really cool post, and there was no joy for me. I attribute it to the possibility my twin may be micro-managing me. Hopefully, he is not reading this thread, and my mind is just playing tricks on me.

This is so very painful. Writing has always been my joy, and I feel none. When I write my mind is free without judgment, and now I am judging everything.

This shows me I am making my twin's judgment of me way too important, and while that continues, I am not ready for the reunion. Also, if he is one who judges so heavily, then he too is not ready for this reunion either.

With this dynamic we could not have fun, and so we would be unable to fulfill our twin flame mission to spread joy. It will pass. ;-)

I am sorry if my twin took offense to the comparison I made between him and my former friend. That wasn't nice of me.

I may take a break from my writing.

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/04/17 06:54 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/04/17 06:56 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/04/17 07:15 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/04/17 07:23 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/04/17 07:55 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/04/17 08:11 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/05/17 04:31 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/05/17 04:41 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/06/17 02:42 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/06/17 03:46 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/06/17 11:51 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/07/17 07:52 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/07/17 10:38 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/07/17 03:21 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/07/17 07:33 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

"If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?"

--Steven Wright


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/07/17 09:10 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

I'm back. The joy has returned. If any healers aided in freeing me from the block that inhibited me, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I learned something critical about the brain during this time off. It has been proven that that neuroplasticity is a feature of the brain. That means that when encountered with new stimuli, new neural pathways can develop. This makes learning new things or changing old habits easier than once believed.

Even though this neuroplasticity has its benefits, it can also be detrimental to one's well-being if a person is surrounded by negativity. Negativity, as any stimuli, can be reinforced by the development of neural pathways, and that means we can be very impressionable to negative input.

What I now understand is that these changes to the brain can happen fairly quickly if the stimuli is constant. This applies to adults as well as children, though my guess is that for children this phenomenon can cause greater harm, since these initial neural pathways create the foundation of who they are to become.

Therefore, my stance that being watchful of the company I keep is supported by neuroplasticity. That means staying away from individuals who can have this negative impact on my wiring is essential to my well-being.

It would be optimal for one's brain to develop a mechanism like a semi-permeable membrane of a healthy cell, for it allows nutrients in while keeping toxins out.

If my brain can do something similar with stimuli, then I am safe in the world, and I don't have to be quite as vigilant about the company I keep. I hope that is something that will develop with time.

Though it is true I want to keep good company, I cannot be in control of who crosses my path. So this mechanism means I can feel safe wherever I go. Until such a process develops for me, I will take good care of my brain this way.

Perhaps I will know this freedom one day.

LH



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/08/17 02:05 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

This bears repeating...





lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/08/17 08:10 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/08/17 09:32 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

I just opened my front door, and flying over my neighbor's lawn is a swarm of dragonflies. I've never seen this before.

This feels very enchanted, and when I come across these animals encounters, I look up their meaning.

According to what I read dragonflies have a variety of meanings, but the central one is transformation. They also signify lightness, flexibility, and a shift in one's thinking.

I couldn't resist walking over to them and letting them circle around me. It was pure magic.

What a beautiful gift to receive this Tuesday morning.


LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/08/17 06:49 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

I sometimes say that going sane often looks like going crazy, because when one's current wiring is reconfiguring toward saner wiring, one can experience periods of disorientation that feel like insanity. It is difficult to function if one's mental map is disintegrating while a new map has yet to emerge, so during this in-between phase, one could conclude he/she is going nuts.

Ultimately, this map represents one's sense of self, so during this disorientation, "Who am I?" may be a question asked often. This is the process we twins are undergoing.

Those of us who have had similar experiences may not be too frightened, but those who have not may be terrified. I can understand this.

I faced a similar terror many years ago, but I came out the other side stronger than ever. If only there had been someone who could provide context for me, but I had to go it alone. Fortunately, as pairs, we twins can offer each other the support no one else can.

I am thankful that I went through what I did, for if my twin needs the support, I am well-versed in what is going on. I can assure him he is not going crazy, and, though he may not believe me, I will be there every step of the way to see him through.

We twins are undergoing a Spiritually Transformative Experience (STE) which means that we are evolving beyond who we once believed ourselves to be. We were raised to experience ourselves as bodies, but our foundation is spirit. So we now are expanding our experience of ourselves beyond just being physical beings, and this may provide us certain capacities we didn't have before.

During our STEs, we may see visions of our twin in the day, experience weird synchronicities, and more. However, even though we definitely are going sane, the greater world would conclude we are going crazy.

I believe this process leads us to greater sanity, because when we feel we are just our bodies, we fear death. And when we fear death, we become neurotic and our functioning suffers. However, when we don't fear death, we face life with joy and vitality, and we function beautifully.

I am so pleased that the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) now includes the diagnostic category "Religious or Spiritual Problems." With this diagnosis, people undergoing STEs are no longer labeled as "crazy" but are viewed as people undergoing a transpersonal experience who are having difficulty adjusting to life.

I was very concerned about my sanity, but once I did some research about this diagnosis, I realized I was fine. STEs come with a variety of characteristics, and I recognized that aspects of my experience fit those characteristics.

Just because this diagnosis appears in the DSM-IV does not mean everyone in the psychiatric community accepts it. One must be very discerning when talking to doctors and psychiatrists, because they may misdiagnosis based on the old box-thinking.

Getting proper support from people who understand this phenomenon, like transpersonal therapists, is great. Also, there is an organization, ACISTE, that offers support and education to people struggling with STEs.

I often find that people in the spiritual community have a bias against traditional medicine. During disorientation, one can become depressed, suicidal, anxious, etc. I went through this myself, and I was torn about using psycho-pharmaceuticals, but if I hadn't, I wouldn't be alive today. All things are an instrument of God, and that includes traditional medicine.

If it is the next indicated action to pursue psychiatric help, then do it. If entering a psychiatric facility will save your life, then go, for without living, you will not experience the wonderful splendor that awaits once you get to the other side of the STE.

My approach has been multi-prong. I take the medication, but I also have an energy healer. If one can use as many of God's instruments that assist the process, then it's the most powerful way to go. This is the approach God wants for me, or it wouldn't be working. I know this, because when things don't work, he points me in a new direction.

Again, seeking psychiatric care can be confusing when you know this stuff is so out-of-the-box, but if it is the next indicated action to do it, then it will likely go well. At least that's been my experience. :-)

LH











lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/09/17 12:49 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

This is the most difficult thing I may have to write to you, my dear twin, because it may make you doubt my sanity, if you don't already, but I must be real.

That DSM-IV mentions that entities may visit someone with the diagnosis I wrote about, and this has been true for me. It has been strange and very painful.

This entity that visits appears to be your soul aspect. My understanding is when someone experiences a trauma, they lose a part of their soul. And this missing part leaves a kind of hole where once that piece was. We fill that part with defenses to protect us from further trauma.

These defenses can be referred to as character defects, and they serve as an armor around one's heart. The process of spiritual awakening is one that dissolves that armor, so that we can be free to openly love as we did as a child and so recover that innocence and radiance of our youth.

My understanding is that you experienced a trauma around me pulling away, and that hurt caused this soul aspect to fall away. And he came to me in late May last year after your severe rejection of me. He will be with me until he returns to you.

By him returning, you will recover some of that sweetness that was lost while growing up. I suppose, then, this is the mechanism of one's recovery on a soul level.

I suspect that other soul aspects you have lost over a lifetime will return to you, and you will experience complete wholeness and recover your childlike wonder and joy we see in the very young.

I have read that when a soul aspect falls away, he may carry resentment with him about the trauma, and be hurtful to the one who he felt caused it. And, of course, that person is me.

Because of this experience, I have doubted my sanity. But we have all seen people with psychosis, and they don't function. They are homeless. They don't shower. They can't attend to worldly matters.

I am not that way. I get up everyday. I bathe, and I take most excellent care of myself. My house is kept clean, and my finances are in order. My life works better than it ever has, so I have concluded that I am okay. If this wasn't so, I would be very concerned.

The regimen of self-care I told you about I have kept with in great detail. My mental health is my highest priority and will continue to be.

The idea for my business is underway, and I have worked out approximately how much I will charge and the billable hours I will need to work to live the lifestyle I want. No one with psychosis could ever think out and plan what I have. Even people with great mental health wouldn't do that.

This soul aspect tries to hurt me in various ways. For the most part, he has been good company, but sometimes he is quite unkind. The one purpose I do feel he serves is companionship for me, because I continue to be quite alone, and the space being opened up as people fall away means I am even more alone than I have ever been.

I don't know if you are looking at this thread, because he has ways of pretending to be you having emotional responses to things that I write. I don't know if they are real, so I feel mislead by him.

I hope you are here and reading this thread, because it is my way of reaching out and showing gestures of friendship.

If there is any way you can show me you are reading this, it would be helpful to me. I know you can't do so directly through email or a phone call, but if somehow you could focus your mind in such a way with the intention I receive this message, it would mean so much to me.

This soul aspect can put anything in my mind or make any sensation happen through my body and has access to all of my memories and thoughts. He might even put dreams in my head while I sleep, so it must be something external of me. He is tricky, so just focus your intention, and God will find a way through your effort.

I can't wait until this experience with this soul aspect is over, and you can take his place. I just have to trust that all that I have been through with him will be of some benefit down the line. At this moment, I am at a loss as to what that is.

I am so sorry that this twin flame dynamic has come about. I was ready to let you go and move on, because I have a bright future and feel I will be fine on my own. If I could let go, I would, but I am not in control of that.

So, that's all I have to say. I am tired and am not up to editing this to "perfection," so you may find many errors. It's okay if you get on my case about that, and I just realized he may have made me think you are doing that, so it doesn't matter :-)

Fondly,
LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/09/17 04:42 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/09/17 08:25 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

To My Twin:

If you are having concerns about my sanity, I wish I could alleviate them.

I have done some research on Buddha, and it seems he had an encounter with Mara, an entity who tempted to distract him from his path, and once Buddha defied him, he was qualified to become enlightened. Maybe this is just a folk tale, and Mara is metaphoric, but maybe not.

I read that the Mara represented pure evil, and I wonder if you have encountered pure evil in your life. Such things can come in human form. If you have faced such a thing, it may have served as a rites of passage for you as my experience appears to be serving me.

These tests assist us to discover our strength and courage, and the rites of passage theme is the basis for the Hero's Journey myths. If we are now encountering tests, then we are both heroes in the making.

Life is filled with funny ironies, and I must say that one worthy of a good hearty Buddha laugh is that I may be the sanest "crazy woman" you have ever known. :-)

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/09/17 09:58 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

May this inspire you on your hero's journey...




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/09/17 05:07 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/09/17 06:15 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/10/17 01:18 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

I just woke up with an incredible insight. In a previous post I said that suddenly people are pulling away from me, and I feel they are making space for this twin flame union even though they don't know about. However, it goes much deeper than that.

I look at my life, and I have continually burned bridges, and they never get repaired. I had a really close friend since childhood, and many years ago she got angry with me and wrote me off. Such a thing was unheard of to me, because we always were so tight.

Now I see her on occasion, and things have softened considerably. I had hoped one day to rekindle our friendship, but I see it probably won't happen, because something very strange came about after my mother passed. My brother and she became friends. It is the most unlikely friendship I can imagine, and I feel that with that friendship that door has closed.

It has a feeling of exclusivity that suggests to me I have been pushed out. Also, my brother, who was once close to me, holds resentments toward me, because I hurt him. He may need to confide in her about all that, and so there's no fit for me.

I have a sister who is troubled, and she is not good company for me, so I handled letting her go with an amazing grace, and she took it well. Strangely, again, my brother and she too have become good friends. That too is most unlikely, because there has never been a bond there.

I have another sister who checks in on me on occasion, but I never see her. And since I want to keep my distance from the troubled sister, I don't attend family functions. My other siblings understand, and this is accepted, again, with grace.

I have been transforming to a place where I don't burn bridges anymore, and it's nice, because there are no ill feelings, but still this is weird to me.

I left that organization, and now I am so alone, because I have no affiliation with any other. The people I had close ties with in the organization have accepted my disappearance with no hard feelings.

I had a close cousin, and he wrote me off, because he was angry. The anger was completely unlike him. When my mother died, I never got a condolence call from him. It was really unusual.

I try to connect with people from my past, and it never holds. The list of people I have lost goes on and on, and this has been since my twenties. I now see that I have been preparing for this union for most of my life by continually clearing the decks.

The phone never rings, and I receive no emails, so I thought there was something terribly wrong with me. Most people I know maintain connections with old friends and former employees. I don't.

If my twin has encountered the same situation, I think it must be the same with him. If he is one who doesn't tend to have close friends, then this is why. And so, if he considers that there is something wrong with him, I can assure him that this is not so.

If he is in the habit of burning bridges, given this, it is completely appropriate. Even if the loss of connections was not through those means, it was inevitable they would have been lost. If he has never been close to blood relatives, the same applies.

I tend to treat my mistakes or affronts to people as crimes against humanity. It is so silly how I beat myself up this way, but now I feel a bit lighter about all that, and it is incredible the healing that can transpire because of this insight.

If people have mistreated me in terrible ways, and I had to let them go, perhaps I can forgive them, because their behavior was the means to make space for a most blessed union. All I can say is, "Wow!"

I hope my twin is in connection with me here, because he may need my friendship more than ever. For him, this insight too may bring some peace about relationships he has lost or never could cultivate.

If he is not here, I will offer this amazing insight once we reunite, and it will be wonderful to see the beautiful relief in his face that I am experiencing now.

You just never know what wisdom can arise when you do as Steve Jobs did and connect the dots. :-)

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/10/17 07:19 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

I am embarrassed to say, but I woke up with this tune in my head, and so I must post it, because God is the program director. If I don't, I will be cursed with hearing it all day long, and I will want to be locked away...




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/10/17 07:44 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

This is MY pick. Now the world feels right again. :-)




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/10/17 02:43 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

The Eric Clapton song I am inserting in this post has been running through my head, so I felt moved to talk about jealousy between twins.

The heart of jealousy is concern that you might be left. Would you be concerned that your arm would leave you? Of course, not, and such a question about a twin is just as silly, because twins are attached.

There's no way he will worry about me thinking about someone else, because we will share one mind, and he will hear me thinking only of him. So all of those crazy sexual thoughts that inhabit men's minds will not be an issue for us, for he too will think only of me.

The thoughts we will have about each other will be thoughts of love. The words "I love you" will be a constant, so there's no worry about hearing "bitch" or "asshole." Thank God no one will overhear our thoughts, or they would vomit at the incessant adoration.

Though we will appear to have different bodies, on a quantum level, we will be one body. Although it is true that everyone is connected on a quantum level, my supposition is that because twins are exclusively wired, their connectivity goes deeper.

Since we will share one body, I will feel what he feels, and he will feel what I feel. So since we love each other so much, we will take excellent care of ourselves. We will eat properly, get plenty of rest and exercise, and the miracle, is we will do all this without nagging at other. :-)

Because we are one, everything he does has direct impact on me and vice versa, so we must be good to ourselves, because hurting one's twin would be hurting oneself, unthinkable.

Therefore, all the jealousy that causes pain and strife for couples will not exist for us. Even if as long as he can remember he has dealt with insane jealousy, this pattern will evaporate.

If he is prone to obsessing about whether this guy or that guy is into me, that habit will be no more. And that's great, because it causes needless suffering.

It's none of our business whether anyone is into us, so who gives a fuck? And if they are, that will have no bearing on our happiness, for we will be inseparable.

Therefore, we will be free from the suffering of jealousy and worry. If you saw my "handsome" twin, you would think it unimaginable that I could ever feel this way. I have had those concerns too, but that's how it will be.

LH




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/10/17 06:18 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/10/17 07:39 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

There this an excellent documentary, Searching for Sugarman, about an American musician, Rodriguez, who recorded a couple of albums around 1970. Unfortunately, few were sold, and he quit the music industry.

What he didn't know was that people were buying up his albums in South Africa, and the sales outnumbered those of Elvis Presley. In fact, his music was influential in the establishment of the Apartheid movement. However, since he didn't know, he didn't claim the royalties, and today no one can trace the record sales.

South Africans wondered what happened to Rodriguez, and urban legends of his suicide abounded, but one South African was set to uncover the mystery. In 1997 the mystery was solved, and Rodriguez was discovered to be alive and well and living in Detroit.

Rodriguez was told of the amazing fame that still existed around him and his music, and he was invited to go to South Africa to do a sold-out stadium show. Today he continues to record and tour.

It's amazing that in his middle years this man's life took a direction he could never have predicted. If he had experienced this success young, fame probably would have destroyed him. Having the wisdom of years, he can enjoy his success without the self-destruction.

God bless the late bloomers of the world!

LH





lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/10/17 10:50 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

I just woke up. I can't believe it. It's only been an hour. Fuck!!! :-0

I was at the car wash, and, as an impulse purchase, I bought a small stuffed, chimpanzee. It's sweet, and when I think of my twin, I kiss it, and when I go to sleep, I pretend it's him and snuggle it.

It's been so long since I've snuggled anyone save for my cats, but they no longer live with me. Check him out.


I just had a dream about my twin. I sent him a telepathic message asking him how he liked receiving my telepathic message, and he returned it by saying he did not receive a telepathic message. Then he said he was coming over after doing some stuff and wanted to see me. He said if I wanted a more personal message, I should call.

I was still living at my mom's house which means the dream was based on this old identity which sucks.

In the dream I am outside of her house, and he is walking up the street and observes my ass in the jeans I used to wear, and he wasn't happy with its size and how it moved.

There was another part about me running around in a playful way which now I often do. I am becoming more childlike all of the time and look younger with each passing day, and this is a function of recovering my youthful, joy.

I said to myself that I couldn't believe my twin would like this about me, because he is so grown up and mature in his presentation. He may have a problem with my childlike ways, but being youthful with bouncy exuberance is how one gets into the kingdom of heaven, and that's where I live.

Because we twins are designed to love each other unconditionally, if I looked like Milton Berle in drag, my twin would think I was gorgeous, because the soul doesn't care about features. It just loves, loves, loves, and loves some more.

And if my twin looked like Boris Karloff, I would still think he was the most beautiful person alive. Whether he looks like the handsome man he is or Boris Karloff, I would see no difference. It's hard to imagine, but it's true.

LH



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/11/17 07:49 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

The program director insists I play this again. I concur with Howard Stern's view that program directors aren't creative. :-)




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/11/17 08:31 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/11/17 10:18 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Right now I am laughing so hard, and I've just got to write about it.

It is an unfortunate thing, but "chasers" get a bad reputation for being crazy stalkers, and it's not fair, because it's our role to initiate this holy union. Of course, such reasoning sounds like the rambling of a crazy woman; however I feel so very vindicated by the article I included in another thread, describing a runner claiming that he loved to hear from his "chaser."

I last saw my twin in April 2016, and in May I felt an urgency to contact him by email, because I received some kind of psychic reading that he was in distress. If he was in distress, then I feel that his soul was reaching out to me as a cry for help.

I was writing emails one after the other, and they were coming fast and furiously without a single reply from him. They were very much like this thread, funny and insightful, and some of the best writing I have ever done. The creativity was flowing, and I was having the time of my life.

Fortunately, my twin put a kibosh on my creative flow by requesting I stop. I say, "fortunately," because we needed the separation, and I needed the boundaries.

However, I am so very pleased with the shit I wrote, and I am sorry I deleted those emails from my sent folder, but I felt cleaner having them gone. Getting that kibosh was traumatic for me, and because of that, I am certain I had a piece of my soul fall away that's waiting its return.

I hope he saved them, because they were brilliant and should be published in the Stalker's Almanac.

In one of those emails I reported the sad fact that male climaxes bring dopamine loss, and I wondered how he took it, because I said dopamine depletion brings on depression and irritability. I thought perhaps from then on when approaching climax, he has been cursed with a sense of dread. :-)

During that email I discussed using the tantric arts as a way to avoid dopamine loss while still enjoying sexual pleasure. At the same time, I also included a little metaphor about the fairy tale "Rapunzel," and that I viewed him as a prince that would rescue me from my tower of isolation.

At the end of the email, I cleverly tied together the metaphor with tantric arts by suggesting that The Brothers Grimm might consider pursuing the tantric arts to alleviate their grimness.

I think my stalking material was designed for him to fall in love with me, and so maybe it helped, though he made it abundantly clear that there would never be a future for us.

We'll see who has the last laugh, but if he is able to laugh like a Buddha, we can share it together, and that laugh will mark the beginning of many more laughs we will share in years to come. :-)

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/11/17 02:46 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/11/17 03:37 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

I am still looking for clues that my twin is looking at this thread. Today I saw a handwritten sign on the street that said, "We Love You..." and then his name.

Also, the other day I was in Ralphs and heard my name being paged. Right after I was walking down the street and heard someone scream, "Hey..." and then my name. I looked around thinking it might have been my twin, but it was a fellow greeting a friend in the parking lot.

I do not know, but I felt as if the incident with the dragonflies may be related to my twin in that I felt there was some peace made between us over my recent writer's block.

It was a big shift as if he had some a-ha moment, and then the next day they were there. However, he may not be looking, and it could just have been my imagination. Still, it is strange, because I haven't seen those dragonflies since.

I regularly listen to a college radio station, and I keep feeling as if we are listening at the same time. I have been listening to this station for years, and I swear I hear songs I never have heard at all, and I wonder if they are his favorites being played. I know it sounds strange, but if he is here, he may know what I am talking about.

Although it might seem impossible that he could have that kind of influence on a radio's playlist, all the souls on this planet want this union, and so whatever will support it, they will do. Though Howard Stern may beg to differ, radio personnel do have souls. :-)

Just for a test I have a list of the most recent songs I heard, and if he is here and sees the list, he may be able to verify if I am right.

The first song played was Radiohead's I Promise. I've wanted to post this video for a while, because it's about a guy who says he won't run anymore even if he's bored. However, I never do, because the imagery in the video disgusts me, and the older version of the song isn't as good, but it kills me not to post it, because it's so fitting. If he's wanted me to post it, that is why I haven't.

Contained within one of those emails I sent in May, 2016, I wrote that I would love to listen to music with him, and if today we are listening to this station simultaneously, then my idea has come into fruition.

Here's the playlist below, and the Joni Mitchell song I am including was played at 2:25 pm.

LH

Michael Penn
2:13 PM
No Myth
March

Bruce Springsteen
2:09 PM
Atlantic City
Nebraska

Leonard Cohen
2:05 PM
Hallelujah
Various Positions

Radiohead
2:01 PM
I Promise
OKNOTOK



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/11/17 05:20 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

I feel like smiling, and I don't know why. \:\)

lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/11/17 07:52 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/11/17 11:56 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

I believe I received confirmation that my twin is here. A song came on the radio that is never played, and that song indicates to me that he might be here. It could be a coincidence or perhaps it's just his soul expressing love to me, but I will hedge my bets and write this should this confirmation be real.

If he is aware of the song being played, then he may be freaked out, and I understand. Years ago when I realized the power of manifestation, it was disorienting. But what I want to make clear to him is that he is not doing the manifesting; it is God, for only God can rubber-stamp requests. If this was not so, then all our requests would happen, and we would have no disappointments.

He is aware that I define God in terms of being all the forces of the universe, and when I struggle, I say that I will summon them. It's simply my way of asking for help, and God is all the forces of the universe, so why not ask?

In my mind, what he witnessed was all the forces of the universe fulfilling a wish, and this happens all of the time, but still it can be startling to observe.

In those emails I sent him in 2016, there contained words about learning to wield power responsibly, and I want to flesh that out.

He is a powerful man in that he is muscular and tall with an imposing presence and is well-spoken with a deep voice that can have an authoritative tone. He also has a powerful combination of magnetism and charisma that is very seductive to women.

This combination can be lethal if not handled with the utmost care, and I don't believe there has been anyone around to train him to work with this power so as to not abuse it, and he may face remorse about that, if he has abused it.

Because of where we are headed, we will possess siddhis, skills of paranormal power. Again, that is not really our power, but God's power expressed through us.

I have seen others who access this power, and they abuse it. They pose as gurus and manipulate their disciples in terrible ways and lack the maturity to wield this power responsibly. Perhaps one who abused this power is Darth Vader, while Obi-Wan Kenobi was one who handled it with great respect.

Because of his intimidating presence, it is extremely important that he does wield the power responsibly, and the answer to doing so is very simple: to be playful and childlike and not take himself seriously. If he can find that fun-loving playfulness, he will never succumb to abuse of power, and we will enjoy our lives together and do good.

This is pretty intense stuff, and it may take some time to process, and that's okay. We have plenty of time.

He stopped me from emailing him during that dreaded weekend in May by threatening a restraining order against me, and I am so happy he did. I have my ways of fucking up relationships, and I could easily do it by contacting him and overwhelming him, so this threat is brilliant to keep me in line.

If he too has tactics that fuck up relationships that he fears might do damage, this separation is excellent to protect the union and will remain until it is guaranteed we both cannot fuck this up. It is an amazing gift.

He has the luxury of time to grow and process what is happening, and if we both summon the forces of the universe to assist this reunion, and God rubber-stamps our wish, then one day we will reunite.

He uses a metaphor about sailing a boat and making adjustments in order to keep on course. I think so long as he can allow God to handle the course corrections, he will have smoother sailing. If not, it could get a little rough, but he will still get there.

I am so very proud to call him my friend.

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/12/17 08:24 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

One day we will visit Puff's cave, and he'll be so happy to see that sweet little boy again, YOU. :-)




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/12/17 09:46 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/12/17 03:08 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/12/17 07:40 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Since I appear to have some forms of siddhis, I spent a bit of time researching them.

I discovered that in Autobiography of a Yogi, Yogananda discusses his experiences with siddhis, and it has been documented that Saint Francis of Assisi had them too.

My concerns about abuse of siddhis is concurred by Yogananda who feels use of these powers for personal gain holds back one's spiritual progress.

Buddhist texts speak of the three poisons: greed, delusion, and aversion. These character flaws keep one in karmic patterns and are the source of suffering. If siddhis are used from a consciousness of these poisons, one will be forever held prisoner on the wheel of samsara, and one's suffering will worsen.

Furthermore, anyone who possesses siddhis and is into control could wreak havoc, for there is nothing more dangerous than supernatural powers in the hands of someone whose intent is to direct the behavior of others.

Visual Interpretation of the Three Poisons in the Wheel of Life




Pig/Confusion, Bird/Greed, Snake/Aversion.


How God will have us use our siddhis, I don't know, but it does appear our psychic siddhi will be used daily for any communication between us, so the smart phone dilemma will be resolved. If our circle of friends peters down to just us, then what does it matter to have one save for things like business communication? If my twin just adores his phone, he certainly can keep it for nostalgic reasons. :-)

It may be possible that our intuitive abilities to access information from the collective unconscious could be so proficient that the need for internet research might virtually be eliminated.

Now that I know I have siddhis, I will be very conscious when filling out a health history form to check it off under chronic conditions. :-)

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/12/17 09:06 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/12/17 09:07 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/13/17 06:23 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

I just woke up from a dream about my brother, the second for the night. Both were about his anger toward me.

My brother is 4 years my junior, and we were very close since we were kids. Our household was full of strife, and we helped each other survive by laughing and doing creative stuff. It was a sweet relationship, and he was a wonderful friend. However, over the years things have not gone well between us, and I have done much damage to our relationship through being critical of him.

We were growing apart, and I was trying to hold onto him by making him into someone who would follow me on my path, but he was not interested. Because we were so close, I have been so sad about the loss.

I don't know, but I feel his pulling away in part may have a resentment behind it. It seems that's what God is using to make this separation happen, and I have to accept it rather than attempt to make peace, for I am not sure peace is meant to be made. My tendency to be critical also has been used to push him away which, again, appears to be God's agenda.

He is a Buddhist on a very traditional path and puts everything into it. He meditates all of the time, and he goes on silent retreats. He so wants the end of suffering, because he does suffer so very much.

He is aware I have had some major spiritual experiences, so I think he has tremendous spiritual jealousy, for I don't meditate, and I have no particular path at all.

If he was aware that I am destined for enlightenment, it would enrage him, but most of all it would threaten his whole world, because his spiritual path is his whole world. It is his box that he appears to feel is the purest path guaranteed to make him enlightened. If I were not his sister and wore monk's robes, he would be desperate to talk to me. However, since I am his sister, then my words mean nothing to him.

He does have a spiritual arrogance, and one time when I needed someone to talk about an awakening, I tried to speak to him, and he said he would not, for speaking to anyone about spiritual matters outside of his lineage would contaminate his practice. It is a great irony that he says we are on different paths when, in fact, a path to enlightenment is just what he desires.

During this time, I have been reading about the Buddha's teachings, and it appears Buddha does not support ritualistic means to enlightenment nor the ascetic life, yet this is exactly how my brother practices.

I see that his practice causes him much suffering, for he has a westerner's mind that twists the meanings of Buddha's teachings into a shamed-based path. Since the foundation of the western culture is original sin, then he would do so, but I feel in my bones that shame impedes spiritual progress.

Though my twin will become the center of my life, I truly would prefer giving this up to have lots of people around. I love people, and I miss them so; however, this is not to be. He will be my life, and God will continue to push others out, even those who have been near and dear to me.

I feel a sense of grief over these losses, and I really hope that this union brings the joy promised, because that joy will assist me to make peace with the disappearance of the people I love.

I want my twin to know that if he fears that I selfishly want him only for me that is not my intention. It is God's intention, for that is the twin flame dynamic. Since I do love people, God's intention goes against my nature.

When I look at the big picture, I see I was meant to give up our organization with people I love dearly for the sake of this union. I wish it was possible to have both, but it was not. It is unlikely I will ever see them again, for they represent my old life which is fading out.

I experienced so much good cheer with them, and I will miss them. They were like family to me; however, I would no longer be a fit, because of the direction my life is going,

The path toward the twin flame union is full of loss. However, with every loss there is a gain, so it's all good. At least, that's what I tell myself.

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/13/17 08:21 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/13/17 08:35 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/13/17 09:57 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Glen Campbell, RIP

Glen Campbell
9:47 AM
Witchita Lineman
Artist's Choice: Cash

Glen Campbell
9:44 AM
Everybody's Talkin'
Adios

Glen Campbell
9:41 AM
Gentle On My Mind
See You There

Glen Campbell
9:39 AM
Just To Satisfy You
Burning Bridges

Glen Campbell
9:36 AM
If Not For You

Glen Campbell
9:33 AM
Galveston


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/13/17 12:04 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

August 11, 2017


Don't Know Why
5:10 PM
Norah Jones
Come Away With Me




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/13/17 12:34 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

With this contraction of siddhis, I should make an appointment for a metaphysical.
It's long overdue :-).


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/13/17 01:14 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/13/17 06:26 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/13/17 08:09 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

The previous video reminds me of this story I wrote that happened in May, 2009. Enjoy! LH


"Recently I was at Dream Dinners assembling meals. I am embarrassed to admit I am a Dream Dinners customer. In case you don't know, Dream Dinners is a place where you can order several uncooked meals a month that you prepare and dress up at home.

Since I dislike food shopping and have run out of dinner ideas, I thought this might supplement my meal-making efforts. Rumor has it the dishes are quite tasty, but I will admit they are mediocre at best. Still, this week, I found a couple good ones. I think it's hit or miss.

The usual clientele are housewives and busy executive women, so I was astounded to see a hip-looking guy with a tattoo, listening to an iPod, happily assembling meals. I asked him what kind of music he preferred for such a mundane task, and he said it varied, but that day it was rap.

Then a most delightful conversation began as I started discussing an excellent documentary I had just seen about Les Paul and his amazing inventions of multi-tracking, sound on sound, and the Gibson solid body electric guitar, which both set the foundation for rock-and-roll. This reminded the man of his true-life sighting of a famous guitarist and told me the following story:

He was a school teacher who often went to grade papers at a very happening coffee house where local musicians frequent. One day he was heavily concentrating on his work, when a British man sat next to him and asked him what he was doing.

From there the conversation turned from the perils of teaching to the subject of philosophy. The teacher then asked the man what he did for a living, and the man replied, 'I'm a musician.'

He had been so involved in his work, he didn't notice that this musician was Eric Clapton, and he usually met all kinds of musicians--unknowns trying to scrape up a career, so, to him, this was just another.

Next they talked about music. Clapton asked the teacher what musicians he liked, and the teacher said Bob Marley and a variety of others. He was amazed that this musician had played with almost every one he named.

Next, the teacher asked, 'What instrument do you play?' There was an uncomfortably, long pause--and then Clapton replied, 'Guitar.' The teacher responded, 'Really?' and exclaimed how he always wanted to play.

He then asked if there were any teachers Clapton could recommend. (By this point I was roaring in laughter.)

Finally, the conversation came to a close, and Clapton asked the teacher his name, and then told him, 'My name is Eric.' He then thanked the teacher for the nice conversation and left.

A few minutes later, a friend came up to him and said, 'Dude, I didn't know you knew Eric Clapton!' The teacher was floored, and his jaw dropped. He realized that odd pause during the conversation was Clapton responding in disbelief to his question about which instrument he played.

Instead of Clapton being insulted and demanding to be recognized, he carried on the conversation with humility. Perhaps it was a relief that he could have a normal conversation with a stranger without the usual idol worship, and I wouldn't be surprised if Clapton was chuckling for the rest of the day.

When I was done assembling my meals and ready to go, I went up to the teacher and thanked him for the conversation. Already--he was engaged in another with a young woman.

As I was leaving, I told him to tell her the story, so, with enthusiasm, he began, but already I could see he would not find the telling so satisfying when I heard her judgmentally reply, 'WHAT? You didn't recognize Eric Clapton? How could you NOT recognize Eric Clapton?'

As I walked out door, the teacher glanced at me with a somber expression, and I smiled back apologetically."


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/14/17 05:54 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/14/17 08:56 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/14/17 09:30 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

To My Twin,

We were voting on a motion I set as to how people should be chosen to speak. As the leader, you said you felt uncomfortable about making that choice and preferred that we do round-robin. I felt otherwise.

I realized later that I agreed with you. I had forgotten, but I had been in a similar position in another organization.

Since the group was very small, it did not have a strict rule for that process, so the by-laws provided that the one who leads is given a choice between the two.

We took turns leading each week, and when it was my turn, I always chose round-robin, because I had the same sentiment about it.

I would not have set any motions if our previous leader hadn't taken liberties with the format, for his inconsistency created problems when we transitioned into new leadership.

I experienced discomfort not knowing what to expect each week, and this would be doubly so to those new to the organization who might be comforted by consistency.

If he had been consistent and followed the format as written, the transition would have been smooth, and no motions would have been necessary.

I'm glad I finally get to tell you. :-)

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/14/17 11:10 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/14/17 02:42 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/14/17 03:54 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

This may freak out my twin, but what else is new? :-)

Recently, I had a weird notion that the financial assets I have are also his. I received a large sum for an inheritance, and I look at it as a gift to us from my parents. In addition, my half-interest in the proceeds of the sale of my house is his too, and he should do very well.

If my mother wasn't cremated, she would turn over in her grave, but with the twin flame dynamic we share everything. Legally, this is not so, but on a quantum level, we are one. Therefore, all I have is his. Maybe this would coax him to move out of separation faster, if he was in need of money. :-)

If he is struggling financially, this notion may hurt his male pride, but if it's any consolation, I read that the worldly runner is the more powerful of the twins. I guess this is related to the siddhis.

I have no idea what his financial standing is today, but God does and probably is accessing resources that will assist us with whatever financial circumstance my twin brings to the table

I figure since, on a quantum level, he is part owner of the house, I should be transparent about my selling strategy. :-) I am putting very little money into the renovation. The front yard will be sparse with drought tolerant plants for curb appeal, and I am not touching the back yard.

With the inflated home values in this neighborhood, I can get more bang from our buck keeping the costs down and selling "as is." :-)

Although the values are inflated, most of the homes here are the original style, not in good repair, and many were foreclosed, so the market ceiling is only so high.

If I put too much money in, I will have to mark up the asking price to earn a good profit. If I am forced to do that, then I may have to price it above the ceiling, and selling would be difficult. To sell, I then would have to bring down the price, and that would eat into my profit.

My only concern is my profit and not the actual price the house sells for. If I can earn a bigger profit by selling "as is," then that's the approach I want to take. I feel as if my twin was asking me to elaborate about my strategy, so I did. Now let's get back to the subject of the union.

Damn him, I lost the flow, and now the last 2 paragraphs don't fit. What the fuck? I have to rethink this matter of sharing my assets. LOL

It feels like this twin flame union is a TV show under development. The cast, the location, the funding, and whatever else is required for this production is being sorted out by God.

Fortunately, the major roles have been casted, so auditions for us are not required. If my twin ever has considered acting, I would suggest to him that this would be the ultimate life-changing role. I think the Buddha would agree. :-)

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/14/17 07:02 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/14/17 07:37 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

My twin pulled me out of my lovely evening bath for a discussion of my selling strategy, and he is fucking with my process. :-)

To My Twin: Write down your questions, and we will go over the list at reunion time. :-) It might get long after a few years. And don't you worry; your investment is in good hands. :-)

That's it for tonight. I'm logging out.



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/15/17 02:54 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

I hate to talk about this, because this may be scary to my twin, but I must.

When this soul aspect came, my healer warned me he is completely full of bullshit and cannot be trusted. And I thank him for the warning, because it turned out to be so.

In the beginning he did devastating things that hurt me terribly. One time he posed as my twin pretending to psychically contact me and tell me of his life circumstances.

I didn't trust him, so I checked out my twin's Facebook page, and it was clear it was all lies. I cried so hard, and the soul aspect had the mercy to confess that he had made it all up. There are so many times things like this that have happened, and this is the very worst part about this separation.

He may have mislead me into thinking my twin wanted more information about my house sale. Who knows if that's true? I can't trust anything. I have to rely on external confirmation, and in many instances I can't get it. And even then, I am not sure I can trust those save for 3D proof, but since I no longer look at my twin's Facebook page or website, that confirmation is not even available.

I think part of the reason that this soul aspect is here is that his presence provides the foundation for the wiring for when my twin and I share one mind. I don't like that my twin will share my mind, because I prefer having my private thoughts, but if we are always kind and loving, then I would much rather have that then what is happening here.

I am thankful I know about the Buddha and Mara. Mara put things in the Buddha's mind that really tested him, and the Buddha did well. I don't feel I do very well, and I don't think I ever will.

One of the 3 poisons is confusion/delusion, and this soul aspect offers this poison, and I continually drink it and find myself so very confused after I realize my beliefs were false. The Buddha's test was the offering of the 3 poisons too, and how he had the clarity to not drink them astounds me. I wish the Buddha were here today to talk to, because I could use his counsel.

My healer's counsel cannot help, because he has not been presented with these tests, and he wouldn't want to counsel me, because he doesn't involve himself in a client's process.

This reunion could take many years to happen, and the thought of this going on is untenable. I still don't know for sure that my twin is here, and I keep looking for external confirmation.

Whatever this soul aspect tries to convince me, I plan to never contact my twin through 3D means. Since he set the boundaries, this reunion can only happen through my twin's initiation.

I hope this information may motivate my twin to really set his mind on having this reunion happen soon. I have been on a hero's journey my whole life, and I feel that I am my own hero as I save myself through self-care, but, in this regard, I feel my twin will be my hero.

I have felt that when I move out of this house, I will not be afraid of anyone or anything. I would say that the biggest test for one is the fear of insanity, and, without a doubt, that has been my test, and it has been one of the hardest of my life.

Oh Lord, I hope my hero comes soon. I am okay, but some days I do struggle with this.

Whatever ways he may have had to assist those who have had questionable sanity, I hope he will come to believe this is an entirely different animal. :-)

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/15/17 07:30 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

This is an addendum to the last post.

I just woke up laughing. It is a great irony that if my twin has dealt with the burden of emotionally supporting unstable people who want him to rescue them by completing them, then, as his twin, I will be the only "crazy" who he can rescue by literally completing me, for we are one. :-)

Remarkable, ain't it?

LH




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/15/17 08:02 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/15/17 09:39 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/15/17 02:34 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

I had a few afterthoughts.

In our world, somebody who is good-looking is considered "someone." Those who feel like "no one" may want to hang out with such a person, so they can feel like someone too. We see this with people who desperately want to be around the very famous, the very wealthy, and/or the very talented.

Therefore, with my twin's good looks, he may be a magnet for such people. Unfortunately, people who feel like no one want a piece of whomever they are grasping, which indicates they feel they have missing pieces. People like that are fragile, and so would be unstable. So, it could be that he often finds himself surrounded by unstable people.

If, as a boy, he had an unstable parent he had to emotionally support, that could set a lifelong pattern. So, if he is a magnet for unstable people, he may find himself repeating that childhood pattern.

If this has been his history, it won't be a problem for us. This time apart sets the stage for these karmic patterns to transform, and if I am correct about these patterns, then, with this insight, I can engage with him better.

I mentioned previously that my twin could complete me; however, there is a caveat to that. If I am still holding onto all my emotional crap, it will not be possible for this completion to occur. Instead, the neurotic patterns I have would repeat with him, and this was happening prior to our separation.

Therefore, this time apart is critical for us to both be cleaned out from the emotional baggage related to painful memories, and until we are, God will see to it this separation continues.

If only it were as simple as our baggage being dropped down a chute in an airport, and we could just walk away from baggage claim empty-handed. However, I suspect that the combined baggage we've held fifty-some years may take a fleet of 747s to fly in. :-) I am thankful we don't have to go that route, because these days baggage fees are expensive.

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/15/17 03:37 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Speaking of karmic patterns...




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/15/17 03:47 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience


Now here's someone:

;\)



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/15/17 04:42 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/15/17 06:20 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

This is a scene from the documentary The Story of the Weeping Camel that was filmed in Mongolia.

The story follows the organizing of a spiritual ceremony to unite a mother and baby camel. Because the mother had a difficult labor, she rejected her baby and wouldn't allow him to nurse. This ceremony is meant to heal the bond.

This scene is the ceremony.




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/15/17 07:15 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/15/17 07:37 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/15/17 08:04 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/15/17 09:00 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/16/17 01:43 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

To My Twin,

Over the time you observed me, you saw me transform at an accelerated pace and save my house from foreclosure.

You may have asked yourself how I did what I did, and the answer is energy work. I've been using my current healer since 2013 when I hit bottom, and in 2002 I started using it in other forms when my daughter hit a rough patch.

I suppose what it does is allow God to come through in a way more powerful than just prayer and meditation alone and can be used to supplement one's spiritual practice.

However, the bigger question is how can we clean out all this emotional baggage? And the answer, once again, is energy work.

I started this thread, because I thought you might be here and wanted to hear from me. It is the best solution for you to make that connection while still in separation.

The beauty of you finding me here is that the site is filled with healers, and it is likely that when they read my thread, they could be assisting us. That means that 24 hours a day, we may be receiving healing work, and so the cleaning out is happening by virtue of you finding me.

This idea is a stroke of God's genius; he is so smart that it blows me away. So, my friend, this is not as impossible as you might think. Just wait it out, and you will see miracles come your way.

I just received an email from my daughter asking me whether I want to buy a drawing. You interested? :-)

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/16/17 01:48 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

If this song has made you sad, it shouldn't anymore. You have not lost a hero and friend; I am here.




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/16/17 05:26 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/16/17 07:53 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

To My Twin,

I will mostly write in third person, but on occasion I may write in first. Since I am not certain that you are here, it feels silly otherwise.

The last song was playing in my head in the wee hours, so I was being guided to post it. Who is guiding me? I guess it's the big guy upstairs.

If it freaked you out, you are not alone. After posting it and listening to it, I thought, "Eek!! What am I getting myself into?" :-) Just so you know, I run too, but I do as directed by the boss, because I'm no slacker.

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/16/17 07:55 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/16/17 09:05 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

It's so weird. Sometimes when I turn on the radio, a song immediately plays that just amazes me, because it fits. Again, it's God's guidance doing this, so I shouldn't be surprised. I have never heard this song--ever.

If he is listening too, this may be God's approach through song to give him insight about his emotional process which may be critical in this baggage clearing. Also, it would be a communication to me about how he handles emotion.

Also, this boat metaphor is his, so it may speak to him. The Lyle Lovett song has the boat theme, and the previous song brings up a sinking boat as does this one. This is pure magic.

There's a part of the song in which the guy is upset that the girl is probably out on the town partying. With my bedtime at 9:00, that should be no concern for my twin. :-)


Josh Ritter
8:10 AM
Showboat
Gathering



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/16/17 10:15 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

This song never plays. The station plays folk, alternative, and classic rock, but not this.


Elvis Presley
10:10 AM
Bossa Nova Baby


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/16/17 11:08 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

I get two themes from the songs showing up. The Lyle Lovett song is about freedom from romantic ties. However, with the song "Falling Slowly," there is a feeling that the ship may sink before he/she reunites with his/her loved one; however, there is assurance there is time.

I feel these songs are showing up, because there are two things going on. There is the painful longing to be with me, but also the fear that if he gets me, he will feel imprisoned.

This conflict is so common especially with certain kinds of men. Some love the security of being "tied down," but there are others who long for freedom. Yet, at the same time, they may want the security of being with one person.

It is tough, because they will keep trying to do monogamy, yet it flies in the face of their free spirit, and this makes for a difficult and complicated life.

Such a person could attempt an open relationship, but if one is prone to insane jealousy, then one can't do that either. And the hypocrisy of openly going out on one's partner while insisting the other sits at home would destroy the integrity of a relationship.

I think for these types, a playboy lifestyle makes the most sense, yet the longing to be with one person is still there. And, as one ages, it's nice to have a companion to grow old with. Life can feel very empty to die without a loved one by your side.

Such a person could, as so many others do, feign monogamy with a partner, but this brings on so much suffering. It really is a no-win. I don't know if this is an issue with my twin, but God will not abide this, and the separation will continue until this is resolved.

The best balance is to be two people who do not fear abandonment and so allow the other freedom. And I've pondered a cool idea for relationship for which two people independently go out in the world then come home and share their adventures with each other.

However, as twin flames, we will have our adventures and be free spirits together, but I have read that there may be times we may be separated due to some calling, but we will always be telepathically connected.

I hope this is not God's intention, because I like the idea of having a physical companion with me. I feel like we have been apart too long, even though it's only been a little over 16 months. Perhaps this feeling of "too long" may be my soul informing me that it has been many lifetimes since we were one, and that is a long time.

So, the conflict he may have is common, and I have my own concerns. I worry I will not thrive. I worry we won't get along. I worry I will lose my wonderful freedom and independence. My life has a lovely flow, and I fear he may obstruct it. Flow is joy, so this is worrisome.

So, we will carry on in this separation while God works out all these details. I take heart that, as "Falling Away" says, there is time.

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/16/17 12:53 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

It occurred to me that my twin may worry that our life together will be bogged down with this boring analysis, but it won't be.

When you have no emotional baggage, then what is there to analyze? We just get up everyday and be ourselves, happy and free. Analyzing often is necessary to dig oneself out of a hole, but once you are out, you are liberated. So, we will laugh and see humor everywhere. Through a past communication he knows that my life has been taking that form.

My friendships used to be like therapy, discussing our problems, but now those friendships don't resonate, because I don't have problems, so it is no wonder that those friends have fallen away.

I don't know if, when we come together, he will need to discuss his baggage. If it is part of the process that could be so; however, the process eventually will end, and he will move on from suffering.

I also don't know if discussing societal trends will continue to be a topic. Maybe it will if it serves our wellbeing. Maybe those discussions will not come up; however, right now it is necessary for me to address these trends, because I must be conscious to make deliberate choices that maintain my happiness. I cannot be a sheep following the herd, if it's going to lead me to the slaughterhouse.

He may think that the simple lifestyle I propose will be boring, but I think it's going to be magnificent. We will experience magic all of the time, and life will be full of wonder. There also will be mystical experiences too, so this will be far more fascinating than a "normal" life.

If he is currently looking at this thread, he may be amazed at how God set up this online connection between us so brilliantly. That, in itself, is awe-inspiring, and that's only just the beginning.

So I hope he can take it on faith that boredom will not be in the cards for him.

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/16/17 01:15 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/16/17 01:58 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/16/17 03:09 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

I am thankful I don't live in an apartment, because when I hear this song, I stamp my feet so hard to the beat that my house shakes. :-)




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/16/17 04:48 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/16/17 04:55 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/16/17 05:12 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/16/17 06:03 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/16/17 06:08 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/16/17 06:15 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/16/17 08:41 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/17/17 04:57 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/17/17 05:01 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/17/17 06:44 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

My twin has seen a rough part of my journey. He met me when I was broken while waiting for my final divorce papers.

I really didn't think I would make it, because the depression hit hard. I was alone at home all of the time, and I feared I might take my life, so I asked friends to call frequently to check in on me. Also, I had a friend who belonged to a church that had a prayer circle, and I asked them to put me on the list week after week. I was determined to live.

I was on medication, but because of the extreme challenges going on then, even that wasn't doing it for me; however, I also had my healer. It's amazing how within hours of a session, I pulled out of some pretty dark places. No antidepressant could work that fast.

So as I got in a better place, it became clear I had to start to earn a livelihood. I considered options, but nothing seemed to fit. The process of exploration was just like that diagram of success, very nonlinear. So while I explored, I earned no money. I almost lost my house during this period, but I saved it, and still I did not work.

I feel I was being pushed to the edge, and it was risky, but somehow it worked out. I just kept asking God to show me he was trustworthy, and the dude kept coming through. I realized, then, I had the intestinal fortitude to handle risk, and this was new to me, because that was not bred into me.

I was raised that I must have a secure job, but I have come to realize that I have an entrepreneurial spirit, and I now recognize that with the widespread mental deterioration, working at a job could be deadly, and I might end up in the slaughterhouse.

I have spent time with other entrepreneurs who feel I have it in me. If you ever start a business, it's critical to hang out with other entrepreneurs. Those who have always worked jobs just don't get it, and because of their innate fear of insecurity, they will discourage you. There are countless business websites that warn budding entrepreneurs to stay away from naysayers, or doom will follow.

I have gotten very clear what my business will be, and it targets a great niche market, and I want to keep it small and lean. Pure community networking will be the marketing strategy, and I am well-thought of in this community, so it should not be hard.

However, until it is the next indicated action to launch it, I am not bringing in income, and I do have concerns I may run through my cash. However, I do understand something very important is happening here. I am undergoing an STE, which requires time away from worldly affairs to process, so, once again, I must trust that God will continue to have my back.

Recently, I realized that though I am not actively earning income, I am sitting on a lucrative investment, this house. The value keeps going up, and, with any luck, when it is the next indicated action to sell, I will more than make up for the cash I have expended.

In the meantime, I continue to have opportunities to practice radical self-care, and this builds my self-esteem, so I should have a good foundation of confidence when it is time to sell, move out, and launch my business.

Also, this thread is very important. Not only does it contribute to other people and help me process this STE, but if my twin is looking at it, then that's a big deal. If it has the transformative power I think it does, it may be assisting him too, and that means this thread is helping his readiness for the reunion to grow.

I am so thankful that my soul chose the chaser role. It sounds like being a runner sucks. I mean you are running for your life, and you don't understand what the fuck is going on. However, I sit in the catbird seat, getting what is going on and just waiting. How easy is that?

I will keep waiting while the poor thing runs. I suspect he will be quite exhausted when we meet up again, but he will be provided the luxury of time I have had to process his STE.

Attending to worldly affairs may be unthinkable to him, because he may need to find the ground. I know this all so well, having my share of STEs.

I send him good tidings this morning.

LH



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/17/17 12:02 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/17/17 05:39 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

A few months ago a location scout and an actor came to my door and asked if I would be interested in having a movie filmed at my house. After checking their credentials, I agreed, because it was a delightful change in this noneventful life. And so a week later, they showed up for a two-day stint.

It was a small pet project for the director, who wanted to make transition from advertising to feature films. He hoped the film might make it on the film festival circuit to advance his career.

As a favor to him, most of the crew were working for free. However, there still was tremendous expense for the project that he was incurring on his credit card, so it is no wonder he was incessantly biting his nails.

I enjoyed having them here and loved eating meals with them in my backyard where they set up the dining area. However, I also kept my eyes open for mental deterioration, and I got an eyeful.

There was much miscommunication. One example was when they wanted to ask my neighbor to have her lights off at night in the room that faced the street. I told the producer that I would contact her and provide her with his number, so he could explain the details.

When I saw him at the shoot, he told me he made the connection, and it was all worked out. However, later, I heard the location scout say that he thought someone should go over to her house and ask her to turn off her lights that night.

I overheard this, and I told him that I had her connect with the producer, and it was all taken care of. There was another mix-up, and I was around to straighten it out too, and the producer was so grateful that someone on the set had it together.

In addition, there was politics going on between the assistant director and the script supervisor, and it got quite tense. The script supervisor told me the assistant director had little experience and was incompetent, and she was so frustrated that she, someone with decades of experience, was working for free and being treated like an underling.

I spoke to her extensively about what a script supervisor does, and I am astounded at all the responsibility she had. I think script supervisors should have people to delegate all those tasks to, because it's too much for one person to take on.

She told me that when the shooting is finished, she goes home and works late into the night cleaning up all her notes, and then sends the script off to the director and producer. Everything is rushed, because there are always time constraints.

She told me it is a very lucrative job and shared a story about a friend who did a shoot abroad for King Kong. Then she told me what her friend made during that 9-month period. She also mentioned her friend worked around the clock and had no time for herself.

After I spoke to her, I did a bit of number crunching, and based on the information she gave me, I figured her friend earned a little more than minimum wage. So what might appear as lucrative is all smoke and mirrors. I couldn't see the sense in working in such a profession with that level of responsibility at that rate, and I bet this is probably true for most professionals on a set.

She also told me there is a slow-down in the film industry, and work is harder to get, so she has to find ways to supplement her income. She said she had considered doing retail, but she could get a call anytime for a film job, and so there is no guarantee she could commit to a shift.

She has to rush around from set to set dealing with horrible traffic, is totally stressed, and has very little personal time.

I believe it would be no different with actors too. It all adds up to the same thing when you are treated as a commodity. Your time is not your own, and you must wait for calls around the clock.

From what I can tell, the money the director invested in a film that isn't designed for making an income and the rest of what I heard, I came to the conclusion that the film industry is designed for most people to experience a life of financial struggle.

There are the well-known exceptions that we hear about, but not a lot. I suspect the people who do the best are the business people who know how to handle money. Most artists aren't trained in that, so they are at a disadvantage.

I would guess the dynamic I am describing probably crosses over into all areas of the entertainment industry, for as long as people are treated as commodities, then this infrastructure would be expected.

My daughter is a very good actress and was considering pursuing professional acting; however, soon into it, she determined it was not for her.

I believe her acting is so good that she has the makings of being a star. I have observed actors in their first films, and I am good at predicting success. I guess I have an eye for talent, and my daughter has it.

However, I am so grateful she made the choice she did. She's sensitive, and the way the women are treated, that industry would have destroyed her, especially if she became a lucrative commodity. I feel she dodged a bullet.

Maybe one day she can find an outlet for her passion that serves her wellbeing, like community theatre. There's no reason why she shouldn't act if she loves it, and I hope she can, because she has a God-given gift.

I am so thankful that I don't have the gifts to work in the entertainment industry. I can happily sing off-key, knowing I am safe from the threat of my talent being discovered.

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/17/17 06:53 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/17/17 06:57 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/17/17 08:07 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

I remember this precious line from Broadcast News: "Wouldn't this be a great world if insecurity and desperation made us more attractive? If 'needy' were a turn-on?"

It seems in our world that "needy" is despicable, below liars and cheats. One time I felt like letting my needy flag fly by making a t-shirt that said, "I am needy and proud." By wearing the shirt, it would all be out in the open, and I could relax in my pathetic neediness.

I have to say when someone does respond to me in a desperate way, I do get turned off, and I think it is because it mirrors the desperateness in me.

There was a time I was into this man, and I found myself so desperate and needy about him that I felt wretched inside. One day I told him how I felt so much disgust about it, and he said the sweetest words I had ever heard: "Longing is beautiful." When he said that, I burst into tears with relief and gratitude.

When I began pursuing my twin, I felt that wretchedness too. It was awful, and since it appeared my feelings were unrequited, it was all the worse. However, I've gotten past that, but, still, I do hate that feeling. Wretched is definitely the word for it, for my stomach gets queasy, and I feel repulsive.

It's a feeling of tremendous shame, but I can't see why I should feel so shameful. It's not a crime against humanity to long, and yet it feels like it when I do. It's such a sad world that something so very natural and real as longing and need are disdained this way.

I wonder how it affects our society to pretend that we really don't feel needy when we do. I think perhaps we lose some sense of our humanity and feeling for others in need.

This feeling of shame about my neediness started with my mom. She was needy and clingy, and I couldn't stand it. However, I believe it was more about anger than disgust. I got the sense that I was not allowed to be the needy one, when certainly, by virtue of being a kid, I was. So instead, she was the needy one, and I was expected to fulfill her need.

However, a small child is not capable of fulfilling anyone's needs, because they are not equipped. So somehow I twisted this anger into disgust, and perhaps at the bottom of it is fear, because it's scary as a child to feel you have to take care of your parent. If you must, then who is there to take care of you?

Therefore, because of how I felt about my mother, when I feel needy, I feel the same disgust for myself. If I can let go of my baggage around her, then I am free to be shamelessly needy to my heart's content. I feel that this pattern was repeated with my daughter, and so she has a hard time with neediness in herself. These patterns, after all, are karmic.

I was laughing to myself about men, because many want to appear that they are not needy and act tough. Some get insanely jealous if their woman gets male attention. This jealousy is neediness in the form of macho and tough, because of fear, specifically fear of abandonment.

I know, because John Lennon revealed this in "Jealous Guy," and I think it's so cute that these tough guys are really scared little boys. Perhaps being tough and jealous is more attractive than wimpy and pathetic; however, it all amounts to suffering.

That means that Sergio, my strutting neighbor with the big muscles and tattoos, may be just as terrified as me. He may be even more afraid, because he has to strut so much. If he were not afraid, his gait would be relaxed.

I love to know that we are all scared little boys and girls inside, even my neighbor Sergio, so if we could just be open about it, then maybe life would get easier, and I could sell a lot of t-shirts.

Neediness comes in as many forms as there are different personality styles. We carry that fearful child forward into adulthood and need so very much. If only we could embrace that neediness, then we would be ever closer to entering the kingdom of heaven.

LH





lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/17/17 08:26 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/17/17 08:28 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/17/17 09:34 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

I stepped way out of my comfort zone to post this one...




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/18/17 09:22 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/18/17 09:34 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/18/17 09:35 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/18/17 10:14 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

For over a year I have been bookmarking songs that I hoped one day to share with my twin.

Then on June 21, I began a project, "A Song a Day," that would be implemented after the reunion. The plan was to send him a song each day in an email. So I began creating email drafts containing a bookmarked song in each.

I was up to email 90, when this thread began, so now I shelved that project and am posting the remaining songs here. And let me tell you; it's a lot of songs.

He can still look forward to receiving a song a day for the first 90 days after our reunion, as I am keeping those drafts.

If he wishes, I can reinstate "A Song of the Day" using any remaining songs not posted prior to the reunion. :-)

So here goes another:



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/18/17 12:27 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/18/17 12:42 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/18/17 02:34 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

These STEs have been a real inconvenience, because when they happen, I have to pull out of worldly affairs. If only I was raised in a monastery, then dealing with these events would be natural and not cause upheaval to my life.

However, now that I understand I am "the spiritual one," I see why I was not to spend too much of my life dealing with worldly affairs, for all of these STEs have been in preparation for this union.

And now, late in life, I finally am being trained for worldly affairs, but I will attend to them on my terms. It would be a lot harder to do it this way, if I had been entrenched in that life from the beginning. So I am thankful that my life went as it did.

Several years ago, I separated from my husband and moved in with my mother. When I arrived, I had just gotten a commission-only position doing telemarketing for a medical transcription company. However after some time into it, I couldn't make a sale, so I quit.

I then decided to take a bit of time to explore what kind of job I would do next, and while I did, I would do community networking as a means to find employment. So I told my mother my plan.

I began visiting various community nonprofits, and I got to know some amazing people. They were smart, influential, and so very nice. One senior, who was a mover and shaker in the community, thought so much of me that he wanted to mentor me.

And so my network easily grew, because this community is so tightknit that someone you meet is invariably connected with a person you already know. And meeting people was easy, because all I had to do was walk around, and by the end of the day, I knew two or three more people.

Unfortunately, during this time, I had a major STE, the most profound one I ever had. I wrote about it here, so any of you who remember me probably read about it.

The STE caused dramatic changes in me overnight, and my mother could see this, and it must have freaked her out, but how was I to explain? I ended up telling her about it, and she didn't get it.

Because of this monumental shift, working was inappropriate. I was afraid, because I had no one to talk to. Because I needed to process the changes, I felt the appropriate thing to do was take it in and rest.

Well, this did not sit well with my mother, and she was angry that I hadn't found a job. It was incredibly stressful, because I was dealing with these changes at the same time as her disdain.

Eventually, things got really bad with my mother, and I was forced to return to my husband, who, unfortunately, had hooked up with another woman. However, since we co-own the house, I had every right to stay.

As soon as I returned, I plummeted into a deep depression. I felt I had lost my whole life, because I had begun blossoming in that community, and it was over. Except for the tensions with my mother, everything about being there was ideal for me to process the STE.

I had a roof over my head, food to eat, and lovely people all around. And the natural world was accessible to me by foot, so I spent much of my time on the hiking trails, and I loved it. I became a real nature girl.

Also, the ocean was right there, and I could walk to see a sunset at the bluffs every night. And with these STEs, the beauty of nature is breathtaking, and I was ecstatic with all I saw. I was meant to take it all in.

When I look at the history of my STEs, I recognize that I always experience a big heart opening; then I get manic and then depressed, and I think a manic episode happened at my mother's house. So when I went into the depression, I began to connect the dots and realized I was bipolar.

Previously I had been misdiagnosed with major depression, a fatal error for someone with my condition, as high doses of antidepressants can bring on manic episodes. So when I sought help, I told my full history, the diagnosis I thought was appropriate, and was medicated for that condition.

I had dealt with these symptoms most of my life, and so, up until that point, I sought spiritual practices to heal them rather than medication. However, I now realize that I couldn't make any progress in my spiritual work until I was medicated. Therefore, how would it be possible to heal the condition through spiritual means if my spiritual path was hindered by it?

After some time on the medication, I stabilized, and then my spiritual path took off. However, I never turned my back on energy healing, because it also has a place in all of this.

The STE that occurred at my mother's house was a prerequisite for this twin flame union, but I hadn't a clue about such things. Although I regretted returning back to my house, if I had not, I would never have met my twin, and, so, it was all a blessing.

In addition, if I had followed my mother's instructions, I would not have spent that extensive time networking, and I wouldn't have the ties I do that may be essential in making my business successful.

So I can return to that community on my terms, be around some of the nicest people I know, see a sunset over the ocean every night, and spend the bulk of my time on the trails. :-)

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/18/17 03:38 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/18/17 03:49 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/18/17 04:30 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

It's a sad and beautiful world.




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/18/17 04:33 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/18/17 09:41 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

The process that was put into place at the beginning of my twin's and my lifetime to enable us to unite is a most exquisite design. If I saw him today, I would wrap my arms around him and give him a big smack on the lips, because he plays such a profoundly interesting role in something more beautiful than I can imagine. The beauty to me is not about being a couple or romance; the beauty for me is this conscious observation of great intelligence at play.

If this reunion does take place, I will be forever changed, because, if it does, my trust in God will be solid as a rock. Firstly, it should be completely unlikely that after a threat of a restraining order that our rapport could ever be repaired. And even if it was, it would be improbable after that to become a couple. So, if a future together does happen, I will believe anything is possible. However charming a "stalker" I might be, I don't think I am that charming. :-)

However, to me here is the most amazing point. This idea of a spiritual one and a worldly one conditioned exactly as we were serving us to launch into a revolutionary lifestyle is pure brilliance.

As the spiritual one, I have learned vital information that will assist my twin to evolve into this lifestyle that is necessary to adapt to this de-evolving world. What I will be most curious to discover is what expertise he has acquired that will assist us in our union.

Nothing anyone learns is a waste. I know I often pull from something I learned earlier in life to serve me later. Even mistakes serve me too. If my twin thinks he has nothing of value to offer, I can assure him that is not so. He has the same number of years under his belt and so must have learned a tremendous amount that will be valuable to us.

It may be that I am meant to design this lifestyle that he will be incorporated into, but once he is, there will be plenty of opportunity to draw from his expertise. He is a very smart man who may feel he made many mistakes; however, with those mistakes important lessons have been learned. If he feels very little has been, then together we will discover what they are and utilize them.

In addition, there may be things in his professional life that may serve us too. I don't have the expertise to do what he does, and so he may fill an important gap. We are meant to take all of our combined knowledge and make an outstanding life.

The stories being told here about connecting the dots informs me that whatever one goes through is important, and once you connect those dots, an amazing story can be told. So we will spend time connecting the dots of his life, and I would bet a most amazing story will manifest, for I have a feeling he's had a very interesting life.

I am in complete awe about the design for this twin flame union that is continually verified by things that I read. However, the proof is in the pudding, and I want to see that pudding gel otherwise this is all conjecture. And conjecture doesn't satisfy when such an excellent vision of a life together is possible.

I want to see us break bread with a lifetime of luscious pudding. Whatever flavor it is, I am sure it will be to both of our liking. :-)

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/18/17 10:36 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/19/17 02:15 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

To My Twin,

If you have any concerns that I will not stay on my medications, I can assure you that I will. I need to protect the union, and to become unstable would to be detrimental to it.

You may be concerned that I will be taking over your life, and though it is true I am cultivating a lifestyle that fits me, I am proposing it for your evaluation, so it's your decision if you want it. If you don't, then you have the freedom to continue the lifestyle you have.

Also, I will not take over your life, because you will have plenty of space to find out who you are. You can actualize your infinite potential to any degree you want to, and you will have freedom to explore it.

I propose an orderly lifestyle, because to have the kind of exploration you will, life has to be orderly, otherwise one is constantly distracted by putting out fires. Without those fires, you can focus.

You may be uncomfortable with my smarts. I could see that, but you are smart too. You may have made mistakes in your life, but that is not because you are dumb. It probably is because you did not have mental clarity. With mental clarity you can be just as smart as me.

I don't know if all I have said makes any difference, but I hope it does.

LH




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/19/17 07:10 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/19/17 08:46 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Folk Implosion
7:32 AM
Natural One
Kids Soundtrack




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/19/17 08:47 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Suzanne Santo
7:36 AM
Blood On Your Knees
Ruby Red



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/19/17 02:45 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

I am sad now. This happens on occasion. A longing arises to be with my twin, and when I feel this way, I get so lonely. However, it passes as all feelings do.

I felt this especially last year when the holidays came around, and now with all this distancing going on with family, I know I will be totally alone.

What scares me is this could go on for years, and I am heading toward 60. I surely hope by the time we reunite that we have many more years ahead. If it takes too long, it could be too few.

This life has been too lonely. I guess that's how it is for the "stayers;" we are a lonely lot.

I am still glad I am the stayer; however, though I want to insulate myself from world, I do feel jealous that, as the worldy one, my twin gets to be out among the living. I will be so happy one day when I can join him.

Thanks for your brief attendance at my Saturday afternoon pity party.

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/19/17 05:59 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

:-)




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/19/17 07:28 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/20/17 01:07 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

To My Twin,

I don't know if you worry about me sometimes. Yesterday was a bad day. It happens to people, but days like that happen rarely. I am usually in good spirits. I am a different person today than when you knew me.

I told you that I will always keep with my medication, and because I practice radical self-care, the world reflects my value back to me, so blessings keep showing up. Since I am owning that value, I am feeling more valuable. A person who values oneself doesn't harm oneself.

And so, if you do worry, rest assure that there's nothing to worry about.

I hope you are doing well.

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/20/17 08:50 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/20/17 09:43 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/20/17 11:44 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/20/17 11:59 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/20/17 12:20 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/20/17 01:05 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

I consider myself a high quality stalker, because my "victims" have told me that due to all the personal growth of the experience, they are better people for having been stalked by me. Not once did I ever hear talk of a restraining order, so I guess I must have done something right this time.

When I connect the dots, I see those stalking experiences were training ground to initiate the all-important separation stage with my twin. Therefore, the enviable stalking skills that I have perfected over the years have served us well, and, I guess, will transform him into someone who would want to join ranks with me.

This is a first for me, but I wouldn't recommend this approach, because you end up feeling like a fucking fool. However, for twin flames, this is how it works, and feeling like a fucking fool goes with the territory. I feel that way a lot.

I want that vindication, and I want it now!!!! \:\) \:\)

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/20/17 01:51 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/20/17 01:58 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/20/17 02:05 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/20/17 05:01 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/20/17 05:57 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/20/17 07:24 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/20/17 08:07 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/20/17 08:18 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

To My Twin,

Good night.

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/21/17 12:07 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

To My Twin,

I don't know if you have noticed, but the views on this thread are increasing. Isn't that cool?

Through a dream I had, I was lead to believe you discovered me on the Matrix Energetics board, so I hedged my bets and started this thread to reach out to you. You might not know about it, and that's okay, because I think it may be doing some good.

Since it is a love letter, I will show it to you when we reunite, so, either way, you will see it. Our union is already making a difference as it is meant to, for what drives this thread is the collaboration of my writing and your silence.

I hope you are looking, because having you see it in real-time is fucking awesome, but, in any case, the healers may be doing their stuff to assist this reunion, and so it's all good.

I love you,
LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/21/17 04:27 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/21/17 05:33 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/21/17 09:57 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

In my post to my twin I said, "I love you," and I was surprised I did, because I've never felt moved to say that.

When I heard Benjamin Smythe talk about being kind to yourself, I realized I call that radical self-care. And, as I have said, when I practice it, wonderful things come my way.

He also said that people will show up that reflect how you treat yourself, and since I treat myself well, it appears that really good people show up. Even ones who aren't super nice, have been very nice to me. I guess something I am putting out there is momentarily transformative. Perhaps it has longer term effects; I don't know.

Prior to the restraining order threat, I could in no way be defined as a stalker. I was in the organization, and we were fine. I had felt he might have interest in me, and something drove me to ask him if he did.

In a business-like manner, he replied that he wasn't--and without even a hint of being flattered; and given his high esteem for me, I was surprised he wasn't.

The way he responded indicates he's not always such a nice person, and; therefore, as Benjamin Smythe said, he would be unable to enter my energy field as he is. If he was in the position that he had to say no and has the tendency to do such things gently, it is unlikely he would be obstructed to enter my energy field in the future.

He probably didn't know how to respond, and he did the very best he could. However, if he stays at that level of consciousness, there will always be an obstacle to block him from getting in.

My soul loves him, and my personality needs to catch up. My personality loves warm people, so he would have to be warmer for me to love him. If he is slowly becoming the kind of man I could fall in love with, then that may explain why I am falling in love.

It doesn't matter that we are not in contact, because this transformation is happening at a quantum level, and, since we are one, then changes happening to one of us directly impacts the other. In addition, it doesn't matter where we are. He could be in another part of the world, and this process would still take place.

I said I don't want to change him, but for this to happen, he must change. It's not that I am trying to change him, it's just that he wouldn't want me unless he did change. And so if it is meant to happen, then these changes will take place.

I have proposed the lifestyle I want, and he can decide if it's for him, so I am making no demands. If he becomes the man I could fall in love with, then he would want that lifestyle, for it fits that type of man.

So, as scary as this may be, God is running this, and he ultimately will decide. I hope God has decided this will happen, because it would be amazing, and I am not pleased to have all this space created for our union that I can't share with anyone else. However, it's out of my hands, and so, as Benjamin Smythe says, "This is the way it is,"--for now. :-)

LH



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/21/17 10:32 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/21/17 10:34 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

The Beatles
10:22 AM
Here Comes The Sun
Abbey Road




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/21/17 02:03 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/21/17 03:11 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/21/17 03:13 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/21/17 03:27 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Coldplay
3:12 PM
All I Can Think About Is You
Kaleidoscope




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/21/17 03:29 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Brothers Johnson
3:25 PM
Strawberry Letter #23
Right On Time



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/21/17 03:36 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Eric Burdon & The Animals
3:17 PM
San Franciscan Nights
Winds Of Change



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/21/17 04:00 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

This stayer role is a narcissist's dream come true, because, for this union to happen, my twin is to be made in my image. This is the first time my narcissism is paying off. How cool is that? :-)

LH



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/21/17 04:33 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Jeff Beck Group
4:29 PM
Got The Feeling
Rough And Ready



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/21/17 04:55 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/21/17 05:39 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

I talked about how women and men are out of sync regarding sex, because men are wired to procreate daily while women are on a monthly cycle. Therefore, because women are not available for sex as often as men would like, they seek out other outlets, and one of those is pornography.

When I saw Russell Brand's YouTube discussion about sex, softcore & hardcore porn, I was very impressed with his insights.

The dopamine loss is really the driving force for pornography addiction, but our culture makes addressing that addiction overwhelmingly impossible.

I do feel for the kids today. It's just too much.



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/21/17 08:36 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Good night. :-)


Norah Jones
1:54 PM
Come Away With Me
Come Away With Me



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/21/17 11:19 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

To My Twin,

I woke up thinking about my ex-husband's brother, the one who wanted me out of my house and the the scariest person I know.

I've known him since 1977, longer than I have known my ex-husband, and I thought this guy would never leave my life. And tonight upon thinking about it, I am certain he will. He is my past, and not just because I am divorced. It is because of this union, for God is creating so much space, that he is being pushed out.

You and I will only join up, if we are free of our emotional baggage, for it is that which keeps us apart; and without emotional baggage, this will work.

If we are able to join up, then together we will shine such a bright light that no one like my brother-in-law will come near, just as Benjamin Smythe says.

If you have a similar situation, it's possible this may apply to you too. And so, when evaluating the lifestyle I propose and the sacrifices you will have to make for it, then it may be worthwhile to consider my proposal in light of what I am saying. However, I make no promises, but I think I may be right about this.

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/21/17 11:24 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/22/17 07:08 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Good Harry Chapin video of "A Better Place To Be," but no code available to embed it.

https://youtu.be/rgpbIPQl7CA






lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/22/17 07:42 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/22/17 07:47 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/22/17 08:00 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/22/17 08:08 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/22/17 01:13 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

My mother used to refer to herself as the eyes and the ears of the world, and it felt true, because often when I kept things from her, the information would mysteriously fall into her lap; and since she felt entitled to know everything, she would become very angry with me.

During last few years of her life, some pretty intense things were happening to me that I felt needed to be kept from her, for she was not a safe person to share things of importance, especially problems. She would worry and interrogate me endlessly, and her anxiety would send mine through the roof.

To attend to these problems, I had to maintain intense focus, so I had to be secretive. However, little by little, she learned most of what I had kept from her. So, out of kindness, I sat down and told her in detail about the things that she knew.

Much of what she knew were things that could only be resolved in God's timing without a definitive answer how that would happen. These kind of problems she handled least well, because she liked everything tied up in a neat little bow. Since she would have harangued me to no end, I set a boundary that I would not tell her anymore until each problem was resolved.

I wish she had been the kind of person who was safe to tell important things to, but I had to practice radical self-care and maintain my privacy. However, I realize that these days humanity is being held up to a higher standard for transparency than ever before--no matter the cost. I guess it's the rising of the consciousness that is forcing secrets to come to the surface.

I don't like to do things that I know are morally or legally questionable. It is not about ethics; it's just that keeping secrets creates too much anxiety for fear I will be found out, and, with each secret, another level of anxiety is added. I still have a couple of secrets, and it's possible they may surface. I accept that these are the times we live in, and so I will deal with that.

As twins, I think all of us are being held to a higher standard than most everyone else, because of where we are going, we must have excellent character. I recall one time I was in a restaurant, and I was far away from the cashier talking, not particularly loudly, and when I approached her, I learned she had heard every word. This happens a lot.

My voice seems to carry to such a degree that I have to be much more conscious about what I say than I have ever, and this is hard. However, I think, again, that the standards being set for me are so high, that, in word and deed, I must be careful; and I fail all of the time, because I am not that conscious.

I don't have any answer for anyone, except maybe it's important to be around safer people where secrecy is not a requirement. With regard to the rest, I simply don't know. Impeccable behavior is not possible, but I suppose what is most important is to somehow reduce the shame around behavior that does not meet the standards required these days, for, as I have said, shame causes suffering, and since suffering begets suffering, more "shameful" behavior is inevitable.

I think this process of dealing with this higher standard imposed on us will eventually get easier, for as our suffering reduces, our characters will improve. In the meantime, we may feel like we are between a rock and a hard place, because for our own safety we may need to keep our secrets, yet we are not in control if God deems they must be aired.

We may even set ourselves up to be found out, for, as instruments of God, we unknowingly are holding ourselves to a higher standard.

It's important to realize this is the process going on, and it's not personal. It's happening everywhere. We see it with celebrities, politicians, business people, family, and friends. Lots of people will go through this process in their lifetime; others will be spared. It's all up to God.

However, as twins, we will get through. For others in the world steeped in shame, a life of misery may be their lot. Again, it is not about the deed; it is about the shame associated with it. A person may be able to escape imprisonment but may always live in a prison of shame, and that's the worst kind, because you can't leave it.

So to everyone I say, "Be gentle with yourselves the very best you can, for that gentleness will be reflected back to you."

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/22/17 02:17 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/22/17 07:40 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/22/17 07:44 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/23/17 02:50 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/23/17 09:44 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

I have said that I am my own hero, and that I am both the hero and damsel in distress, because I have had many situations for which I have had to save my own life.

One of these incidents had great impact that changed my life for ever. It was an act of radical self-care in which I had no support from my family.

After I left my mother's house to return to my former husband, I had a nervous breakdown. The remorse of all the "bad" things I had done over a lifetime came up and attacked me. I was steeped with anxiety the likes I had never known. Anxiety at that level was the worst psychological experience I have ever encountered.

It was during that time that I diagnosed myself with bipolar disorder and told my family. I had health insurance that my mother paid for, but I had no money to cover co-pays, the deductible, or the coinsurance, but treatment had to be sought, because I didn't want to live. By then my husband had moved on and didn't want to be involved, so I had to turn to my family. Therefore, my family felt they had no choice but to help me.

We then began to seek out a psychiatrist. It was painful, because where I live there are not enough psychiatrists to treat all of the sick people, and most of them had waiting lists that were impossibly long. Others had closed their practices to new patients.

I had a PPO list that I had to use, because my family insisted, and so we made calls, and all of the psychiatrists we called had left the networks, took no insurance, and charged full fees without a sliding scale, and this was not acceptable to my family.

After so much calling, we concluded we had hit a wall with the network, so we gave up; however, I had to see someone, so my family agreed I could see an out-of-network psychiatrist. We found one who said he could see me in two weeks, and we agreed because the others were up to three months.

It was such a long two weeks, and I really needed immediate attention, but I held on.

The cost for his services were high, so my family put me on a budget to see him once a week. This was inappropriate for someone with my condition, because you cannot budget for such things, because the unexpected happens.

In addition, it takes time to find the right medication, and sometimes you may need to go in more often, and I was concerned I wouldn't have enough funds for all the hours I needed in a month.

My psychiatrist did not like the situation, because he knew he could not treat me properly under these financial constraints, and he thought I needed a partial hospitalization program (PHP), an outpatient hospital program with a structured format attended by other patients.

My family disapproved, because the deductible and coinsurance was high, and they didn't want to cover it. So I was stuck with seeing the psychiatrist under stressful conditions, and I felt terribly guilty that they were footing the bill.

So, at some point, I was a basket case, and I knew I needed immediate hospitalization, but I resisted, because I knew my family would be angry at me. And finally a thought arose, "My life is worth the money," and then it was obvious I had to go, so I did. My family was pissed off at me, but I had to save my life.

It was good I was in the hospital for I received the care I needed, and I was safe from harming myself. Upon release, the hospital strongly suggested I go into a PHP, and so I did.

Because of the cost of everything, the charges went beyond both the deductible and the coinsurance, so all care after was covered 100%. Therefore, the ceiling was hit with a large balance, but I couldn't care less how I was going to come up with the money to pay it; I just had to live.

While in the PHP, I did good. There was a woman who was very suicidal, and she said I saved her life, because of something I said. With those words I spoke, she decided she wasn't going to take her life. I had similar effects on others, because something about me inspires.

In the PHP I was able to have continuity of care with the psychiatrist I used as an inpatient; and when I left the program, I continued to use him on an outpatient basis--and he was in my network.

When I finally received the bill, I asked the hospital to waive the balance based on financial hardship, and they wrote off the whole amount. By saving my life, I received care for free and an affordable psychiatrist. If I had listened to my family, I probably wouldn't be here today.

I believe that when pushed into a corner as I was, it is God is stepping in, and I trust that idea more each day. I withstood the pressure of my family, and I am stronger for it.

These days when faced with something that critical, I continue to say, "My life is worth the money," and I do not hesitate to seek care. I now know that, somehow, things will work themselves out.

And so I say, "I am my own hero, and this damsel is in damn good hands." :-)

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/23/17 12:08 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

I get a sense that if my twin keeps running, he will run forever, because we are supposed to unite. So, he always will be haunted by me, and there's nothing he can do about it.

I hate this, because he may resent me, but it's not my fault. This is how things are scripted in this lifetime, and we are at the mercy of this contract we agreed to before we were born. If I had the power to nullify the contract, I would, but I can't. Even the best attorneys with contract law expertise couldn't do a thing about it.

Therefore, he may keep running, and I may keep posting here. If you are enjoying this thread, and if my twin keeps running, then it is possible you will have many more years to look at it.

So, for now, folks, have fun observing this crazy twin flame impasse. If you are into soap operas, then you may be having the time of your life. I'm not sure I am. :-)

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/23/17 12:57 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/23/17 03:53 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

To My Twin,

I never shared the story with you about my visit to the psychiatric hospital, and I am so pleased I finally got to. It was amazing how everything worked out so beautifully.

I saved myself, but, really, God did, and I simply was his instrument to do it.

So I have some questions:

--If we were together, how do you think you would feel that I require no rescuing? Do you like the idea?
--Would you be lost if you no longer had to play the hero?
--What if I want you, but I don't need you? Would you be comfortable with that?

Benjamin Smythe said no one needs anyone, and I think what he was getting at is that, because of God, no one person is needed, for he covers all the bases. With this foundation in place, a relationship can only be a healthy one.

If this intrigues you, then maybe there is hope.

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/23/17 03:56 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/23/17 04:23 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/23/17 04:28 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/23/17 05:38 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/23/17 07:56 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

To My Twin,

Something else came to mind. I told you that I felt it was a leap for me to be with you, because you were a high caliber man. If you feel my view of you was incorrect, and this causes you to run, then I understand. However, if you are not what I thought, I couldn't give a fuck.

If you think you are not the high caliber man I thought you were, I still believe that inside you are, but life's conditions may not have allowed you the opportunity to access that part of you, as was the case for me.

We come into our own when it is time, and not before, and I feel for you that time is near.

And so, if you can, don't worry about what I might think. You know I've felt like a pathetic loser my whole life, so how is it I could ever judge you? :-)

If I have gotten things completely wrong here, then just ignore this post; however, please know that whatever I have said comes from a very good place.

Yours truly,
Your lady luck




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/23/17 08:54 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/24/17 03:58 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/24/17 08:55 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

To My Twin,

I said that I felt that the inheritance I received was a gift to us, a dowry, so to speak, an old-fashioned tradition that still exists in some cultures today.

If that "pathetic loser" clause had not been dismantled, I would not have received that lump sum. Because I received a lump sum, you can have the freedom to find out who you are.

I said you may not have had the life's conditions that would allow you to access the high caliber man inside of you, and this dowry is one of the conditions God has set in place for you to do it. It's magic.

The sale of the house will enable me to replenish the dowry. It may not be brought back to the original sum, but at least it won't be as depleted.

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/24/17 09:18 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/24/17 10:06 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/24/17 10:35 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Fatboy Slim
10:25 AM
Praise You
Praise You

Did you know that the Fat Albert Theme song is sampled in "Praise You"? This website shows you where the sample appears.

LH



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/24/17 03:23 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

I just came back from my first of 5 laser hair removal treatments, part of this external make-over God is doing. I guess he figures that between my twin and me, my twin should have the beard. :-)

Now excuse the digression here, but I promise it will come full circle.

I have salt and pepper hair, and I have pondered whether I should dye it, however, I have been hesitant, because I wouldn't like the extra maintenance or spending so much time at a beauty parlor. Also, I keep getting strong messages from people who say things like, "Don't you dare dye your hair!!!"

Soon after I decided to keep my hair silver, I did some research as to how gray hair is perceived on women these days, and I was surprise what I found. Women are letting their hair go gray, and it is considered trendy.

Not only that, but women who aren't gray are dying their hair silver too. The "granny" look is in, and I started noticing this with very young women, and I laugh, because when I look in the mirror, I see an old woman. It seems everyone wants to look like me. Who knew?

So today at my appointment, the nurse asked me if my hair was naturally gray. I couldn't believe what I heard. After all, I think it's obvious I am menopausal, but maybe not.

Since I have taken pride in my silver hair, silver has become my signature color. My car is silver, and I wear this very subtle, silver-metallic nail polish on my fingers and toes that glistens little colors like tiny prisms in the sun. It's sweet.

So, an external look is beginning to evolve, and I am really interested in what else God has in store for me, since I don't know where this is going. All I know is with this hair removal treatment, I won't be sporting a Santa Claus look.

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/24/17 04:00 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Joe Jackson
12:21 PM
Sunday Papers
Look Sharp!



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/24/17 04:12 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/24/17 05:18 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

I like to travel light, because these days traveling with as little encumbrances as possible is optimal. Life is getting far too complicated, so to offset the complication, simple living makes sense.

This concept of adapting to this de-evolving world is akin to the extinction of dinosaurs. The dinosaurs were not selected to survive, because the resources required to keep them alive were no longer available. Dinosaurs were so large that the volume of food they required was not sustainable. They also did not have the flexibility to acclimate to the climate change, because they were cold-blooded.

It was the little mammals who survived, for they had fur, required little food, and were warm-blooded.

I feel the same metaphor can be applied to human beings. There are those who live like dinosaurs with large footprints, and then there are those who are moving toward living more sustainably with small footprints like little mammals. For my money, I choose the little mammal way, because just like in prehistoric times, it is evolutionarily advantageous.

I have already brought up material minimalism, but emotional baggage too is draining on a person's resources, and so reduction of it is also optimal.

With our flight-and-flight existence, carrying emotional baggage is too cumbersome to manage, and with secrets being unearthed, life can get very crazy. If it's possible to find a way to reduce the baggage through any means, it would be beneficial.

Energy work is an excellent way to proceed, because this baggage hides deep inside. Certainly spiritual outlets are useful, for only God can do the clearing. What instruments of God show up to clear your baggage is his call. All one need do is to ask him, and see what shows up.

With the clearing of emotional baggage, then clarity arises, and life becomes easier to manage. Clarity is the greatest gift I've been given, and I can't say enough about how wonderful it is to see life clearly. It is a joy. I just get up and know what to do. If I have a problem, I know how to proceed to resolve it. If I don't know, eventually an answer is revealed, and then it begins to resolve itself.

The concept of "the next indicated action" has saved me so many times. When I was going to lose the house, the work involved in saving it was overwhelming, and I wasn't sure I was going to succeed. So I told myself I would just concentrate on the next action indicated and not the seemingly impossible goal.

This kept me focused, and though I became anxious often, I kept coming back to the next action. Because the process was administratively complex, there was no end to actions to take, and so I just let them be my guide. Little by little it got done, and I didn't get as overwhelmed as I might have.

I learned so much from that experience and have adopted that way of doing things in all I do: with my house, my finances, and my business idea, because when life is approached as one action at a time, it gets so much simpler.

People talk about taking life one day at a time, but this does not resonate with me, because a day can feel like fucking forever, and depending on what you are dealing with, it can suck. I like the action-oriented approach, because it is empowering, and it's dynamic.

On the other hand, I like to take the action-oriented approach from a middle path PoV, for too much action can be depleting and chaotic. It's better for me to flow and allow the next action to be revealed to me.

I think that the space in which an action takes place is entirely more important than the action itself, so having lots of space is vital. You can throw a pebble in the pond, and the ripples will reverberate so far, but if you throw it into the ocean, it goes a whole lot farther. So a spacious way to approach action is the most powerful.

There is so much talk about conserving resources, and we focus on gasoline, electricity, water, etc. However, the one resource we tend to ignore conserving is our own energy. Some people work themselves crazy for a cause to conserve energy while consuming too much of their own.

That is counter-productive, for if they are depleted, they will not be able to get up from bed and keep fighting the good fight. It's important to first conserve your own energy, for if you don't, you cannot be as effective.

So though there are great crises going on in the world, one can still assist. However, radical self-care assures that the assistance one provides is effective, for with it, comes the power of spaciousness. In that way, one can deal with these "impossible" situations in a relaxed manner and probably accomplish more, because that reverberation goes on into infinity.

The other thing I have had to concentrate on is not being impulsive. My impulsive behavior comes from anxiety, and I quickly react to reduce it, but it makes the anxiety worse. So I am better at waiting rather than reacting immediately. My mantra has become "Wait!"

Life has gotten so much easier, since I have taken this approach. There is very little in life that requires a quick response, except for things like running out of a burning building. Most everything else does not need to be attended to now.

What I have discovered is that when I wait, I make much better decisions, because while I wait, more information comes in, and so when it is time to make a decision, I am well informed; and when I am well-informed, the decision I make is the obvious one.

When I make a decision that feels obvious, I know it is probably the right one. So this waiting approach has been gold, because my decisions are better than ever, and so my life is making more sense.

Each time I do wait, I am amazed how much useful information manifests to enable me to make good decisions, and I have gotten much more secure about my ability to navigate life. So when I sell this house and move out, I will feel ready.

I must be uncompromising about the little mammal lifestyle I want, because a well-thought out lifestyle decision in these de-evolving times is critical to my survival. I cannot be a dinosaur or be connected to dinosaurs that may fall on me, for I must take the most excellent care of myself.

I am most fortunate that the dream lifestyle I have has never fit into the dinosaur scheme of living large, because I would be choosing one that is destined to become extinct. I am so thankful that this little mammal lifestyle I have always wanted is one for which thriving is almost certain, and with these life skills I have adopted, I am assured this mammal will be a happy one. :-)

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/24/17 05:23 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

This song has had a great effect on me, because unrequited love is so very painful. However, I have come to realize that everything is an instrument of God; and that includes one who loves you. So what that means is that God is using that person as an instrument of his love for you.

Unfortunately, God chooses who the instrument is--not us. And that's really tough to accept; on the other hand, if love is unrequited, it can be seen that it is not personal for God made that choice--not the person.

Why he chooses who he does is a mystery, but he will always choose instruments to show his love to us, his loved ones.



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/24/17 06:06 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/24/17 07:44 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

To My Twin,

I have concerns that you may be uncomfortable with me being uncompromising about this little mammal lifestyle, because that may not fit your value system. I understand, and this may not be the life for you, and so it would not be right for you to be with me. We both should live authentically, or neither of us will be happy.

These differences in our values are why I have wondered why God wants this match, but I guess he will figure that one out for us, because I certainly cannot.

It may appear I am controlling, and this may bring up some old relationship issues for you, but, I can assure you, this is different. Already, you can see that this experience we are having with this thread is like no other you have ever had. Don't you think? :-)

I believe I am being provided the blueprint for a life I am lead to believe we are supposed to live. I am also being provided the funding for that new life. For some reason that is how God is setting this up.

When I did genealogy, I learned about an ancestor of mine who was a furrier, Joseph. He came to New York from the old country in advance of the rest of his family to put down stakes. Once he had everything established, he sent for them. Just call me Josephine the Furrier, for in my mind, you are living in the old country, and I am putting down stakes in the new one.

Why, as the woman, I am taking this role? I don't know, but that's the conditions for it, and since you are the "runner," I guess that's how it works.

So, that's the best way I can explain it. You are coming to the new country. If you love the old country, then you can stay; however, if you find it becomes unpleasant, as did our ancestors, you can immigrate and join me.

This must seem really weird, because this is just not the way people do shit. However, this twin flame thing is just not normal shit.

So I will keep posting, and you can keep visiting--and we'll see where this leads. :-)

Josephine









lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/24/17 08:05 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

I watched this Joe Cocker documentary, and what was fascinating was this hard-drinking wreck of a man married a grounded, American woman who was a camp counselor.

She was solid and organized, and he settled down, sobered up, and was happier than he had ever been. If that match is possible, then maybe there's hope for my twin and me, because I don't think anyone saw that one coming.




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/24/17 08:17 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/24/17 08:23 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/24/17 09:10 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/25/17 03:23 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

To My Twin,

I joke woke up from a dream that I was attending a child's birthday party, and you were the father, but you couldn't attend, so you wrote a letter that told a story about one of the first birthdays your child had that was read aloud.

In the dream I knew that you weren't there, because I was, and it was your way of telling me the story without being seen due to this runner/chase dynamic. It would be cool if that were your way of sharing this story with me through this dream, but I doubt it.

I want to tell you why I pulled away from you years ago. When our organization met, there were chairs, but there was one small couch. I regularly sat on the couch, but you sat somewhere else.

One day I arrived to see you on the couch as if you were waiting for me, but I was never sure. I was nervous, because you are so handsome, and I started having a crush on you.

This is worrisome for me, because when this happens, I tend to get manic, and this was something I could not afford to do, and this was starting to happen.

The following week you were there again. I sat down, and you looked so happy, like a different person. It was almost as if you were a child with so much glee.

The meeting was going to start, and you were so excited that you quickly rubbed my thigh. There was nothing seductive about it. It was just that you appeared fond of me and were happy I was there.

Still, I didn't know, so I tightened up, and it was then I decided that the following week I had to sit somewhere else.

The following week I was there earlier than you. When you walked in I saw you were headed for the couch, then you stopped short, saw where I was and looked confused, and then you went and sat somewhere else.

I assumed you may have been hurt, because I have experienced such a thing when someone regularly sits next to me and then moves away.

I moved away, because I got manic. This happens when someone shows interest in me, and I thought you might. Mania is triggered because of anxiety, and since I have self-esteem issues around men showing interest in me, I get confused and nervous, so I get manic. Already that was starting.

I had to practice radical self-care and stay away from you, but I regretted that happened. Eventually things settled down, and I was fine.

So during this time of separation, my self-esteem issues are being addressed, so that when I see you again, I will not feel nervous; and I think God has set things up so that the timing will be perfect.

I have said that my self-esteem is growing, and I feel more confident each day. So it appears things are working as I had hoped.

So the things you have done to contribute to this separation are fantastic, and I thank you for that.

I just thought you should know.

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/25/17 04:02 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/25/17 10:44 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

To My Twin,

It may be a bit scary to hear me use the word mania about my behavior. I don't have full-blown manic attacks. I would say I get a little nutty. I don't bang my head against the wall or do anything that would cause jail time. In no way is it like Silver Linings Playbook.

The main thing is I self-sabotage, and then I fall into a depression. To me, the depression is the worst thing. The key is to address the mania before it really takes over.

With the situation with you, I adjusted my medication, but I also had to remove myself from what triggered it. Even if one is on medication, mania can still be triggered.

Medication manages a mood, but the psychological issues underlying one's bipolar condition still exist. So long as one is vulnerable to those triggers, medication alone won't do it. That's why people also go to therapy. So I am working on those issues that would trigger a manic episode around you.

I take two drugs. One is a mood stabilizer which puts a ceiling on how high my mood can go, and it also addresses impulsive behavior, so it has assisted me in my ability to wait.

The other is a low-dose antidepressant that is at a level safe enough not to trigger a manic episode. Like the mood stabilizer that keeps me from going too high, the antidepressant keeps me from going too low.

I told you I am doing HRT to keep my hormones balanced should an imbalance contribute to a manic episode. They have been working wonderfully.

I focus on my mental health for myself, but you can see that it also is imperative I do it for us. If I don't, we would be doomed from the start.

So everything that has happened that brought me to meet you is so excellent. I keep connecting the dots, and I am fucking amazed.

LH

P.S. If you wonder why I bold my italics, it is because the italics is so subtle that you can't see it. I had a notion that this bugs you. Maybe I'm wrong, but I hedge my bets. :-)

I got to go back and finish flossing my teeth as the floss is hanging out of my mouth. The fact that I had to stop in the middle of flossing to add a P.S. indicates that impulsivity is still an issue. :-)

And now you may be wondering why I am brushing my teeth so late in the morning. Oh, it goes on and on... :-)




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/25/17 11:45 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

I feel I come from a proud heritage, because some pretty talented people have been bipolar, so I feel a sense of glory about my diagnosis. :-) Speaking of one of those talented people; here's a song that celebrates one:






FYI: Each year on March 30th, Vincent Van Gogh's birthday, there is a World Bipolar Day .



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/25/17 12:25 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Hi Twin,

Since I'm on a roll, I wanted to share something else I told you, and I promise not to play around with you like I did in my P.S. :-)

I told you that I don't wear "impossibly impractical shoes," ones with high heels. Of course, the main reason is because they are uncomfortable, but I also discovered that women who chronically wear them hobble in old age. Hobbling doesn't sound good to me, so, unlike Bruce Jenner, I will not be replacing my Nikes for stiletos.

However, there is another good reason, and this also relates to why I said I don't want to wear sexy clothes. Wearing sexy clothes and those shoes attract men way too much, and since attraction is a trigger for me, it's best to play it safe.

In addition, wearing sexy clothes makes me feel sexed up, and that feeling is very stressful on the nervous system, and I cannot afford having that stress, because it triggers me.

So, I never will be a sexy fashion plate, but there are other ways to look wonderful, and God is helping me discover them.

Love ya,
LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/25/17 02:38 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Elvis Costello And The Attractions
2:13 PM
Shipbuilding
Punch The Clock




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/25/17 02:47 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Robert Plant
2:18 PM
The May Queen
Carry Fire
Robert Plant's new album, "Carry Fire", is due Oct 13




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/25/17 03:44 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Traffic
3:36 PM
40,000 Headmen
Traffic



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/25/17 05:35 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

I recently re-watched The Bridge on the River Kwai, and for the first time I felt great compassion for Colonel Saito. I suppose at my age I have gained a new perspective, and so Saito's situation affected me differently this time.

The scene that stuck with me was when Colonel Saito had a meeting with Lieutenant Colonel Nicholson, and Saito told him that he wanted to be artist, but his father told him he was a terrible artist, so he studied engineering.

The ironic thing was that Saito would send off his prisoners to work with, "Be happy in your work."; yet, to me, Saito was anything but happy in his.

I felt this was indicated by the fact that he was doing a terrible job managing the bridge project. When Nicholson and his officers took over the construction, they realized that the placement would have made the bridge unstable, and so they had to re-position it.

Also, while Saito was in charge, he was killing off his workers, yet he had a very strict deadline to meet. This was not a smart move.

I know this is just a movie, but I don't think it is too far off from real life, for when people hate what they do, they don't do their best work, and if they are in management, they handle their employees terribly.

So I felt so sorry for Saito, and by the end of the movie he was pretty depressed, because he wasn't suited for both being a commander and a project manager, and Nicholson showed him up in both regards.

Things I have posted have suggested that it is important to find work you love and do it. However, the transition can seem impossible, especially when you have a family to feed. Also, some people simply do not know what they would love to do or feel they can't eke out a living doing what they know they love.

How God can intervene to resolve this dilemma for each of us is a mystery, but I do believe with this shift of consciousness taking place that more people will begin to move toward work they enjoy.

They may have to take stock of their finances and move toward minimalism, because then the options begin to open up. The transition is too tricky without having some clarity about finances and taking control of spending.

Hopefully, those like Saito, who were discouraged from their passion, may attempt to rekindle it, and perhaps, with God's help, a livelihood could be earned.

I hope my twin chooses to immigrate to the new country, for it is certain there, he may make that transition should he feel he is doing shit work in the old country. I hate to see him meet the same fate as poor Saito. :-)

LH




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/25/17 07:04 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Blood, Sweat & Tears
6:13 PM
Go Down Gamblin'
Blood, Sweat & Tears 4




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/25/17 07:06 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Roy Head
6:19 PM
Treat Her Right
Treat Her Right: The Best Of Roy Head




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/25/17 08:16 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

I was thinking about what I wrote today to my twin about my bipolar condition, and how I had pull away from him, because I was being triggered, and that the medication alone was not sufficient.

I was fortunate that I could remove myself, but what about people like children with triggers in their families. There is no way they can remove themselves, and this is troubling. Parents may have them try a variety of medications, but nothing works, because the triggers remain. The parents, themselves, may be triggers.

However, this doesn't only apply to children; it applies to anyone in conditions they cannot easily leave like marriages, jobs, careers, communities, etc.

For example, people with bipolar condition tend to be creative, so they are often drawn toward the entertainment industry to such fields as film, acting, comedy, and music. I think the entertainment industry is loaded with triggers of all of kinds, so it's no surprise that so many in it, who are on medications, relapse.

Fans are a triggering source for they throw themselves at stars, and this is kind of attention is destabilizing. Also the financial ups and downs that come with these careers are too. Even the acting roles, themselves, may trigger anxiety that may set off a manic episode. From a bipolar PoV, these careers can be toxic.

When one is diagnosed with bipolar condition and truly desires stability, examining all aspects of one's life that may have triggers is vital. Career changes may be necessary or living in a different community.

I am beginning to believe that my bipolar condition is being used as an instrument for God to protect me by keeping me away from things that don't serve my wellbeing. I no longer see this condition as a prison or an illness, just a guidance system.

However, I have the good fortune of being an adult and also not steeped in a life situation that I cannot escape. Most people are not that lucky, and I haven't been for most of my life. This is very new to me.

I see now that moving off that couch was serving my wellbeing in a much larger way beyond the anxiety caused by my twin's alleged attraction to me. Because my twin's worldly lifestyle has too many triggers for me, stepping off that couch was right. I wasn't thinking about that at the time, but now, on looking back, I see it was so.

I could not live his lifestyle with him without being destabilized, and I guess that's why it would only work for me if he joined me in mine. However, he may tend toward stability boredom, and so my lifestyle may not suit him, for stability will be my way of life.

So with this realization, I would say that anyone with bipolar condition might want to seriously consider whether a potential romantic partner may be a trigger or is connected to triggers before getting involved.

People with bipolar condition tend to be impulsive and will jump into a sexual situation before they have vetted the individual. Once a person sleeps with another, a honeymoon period may begin, and the ability to clearly vet may be distorted by the infatuation.

So when the honeymoon period ends, a person may realize it was a mistake, and it's hard to get out. Also, if you are bipolar and have bonded with your partner, attempting to get out could put you in a serious depression. Dating is a tricky business for anyone, but especially for people with bipolar disorder.

So for me, caution is my guide, and I feel I am in good hands.

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/25/17 09:09 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/26/17 01:21 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Hi Twin,

At 10:30 am I will think of you while I am covered with acupuncture needles. I hope you will think of me too.

The chance of a life together looks hopeless, but I think of Joe Cocker, and I see anything is possible.

When he met Pam, the woman who was going to become his wife, it looked like his career was over. He would appear on stage so drunk, it was an embarrassment.

He was looking for a place to live, but nobody wanted to rent to him, because he was unreliable. However, Jane Fonda gave him a chance and allowed him to rent a place from her in Malibu.

Although Pam was a camp counselor, he met her through Jane, because she was her administrative assistant.

Joe's brother said the match was very unlikely, but he thought Pam was good for him, because she was organized, and he was a chaotic mess.

So they married, and they moved to Colorado, and it was a good move for him. He did a lot of walking in nature, and he found some peace. I guess he had emotional baggage that haunted him, and that's one of the reasons he was so self-destructive.

In Colorado he befriended regular, everyday people. There was no one there who was in the music business, and it was so nice for him to just be himself with good people.

Pam and Joe started a foundation, Cocker Kids, that provided a rich program for children to explore their creativity through music and the arts. Because of his connections, they had many artists come to teach. It was a major contribution to the community, and it closed after his death.

He did tour again, and he would drink when he did, but when he was home, he wouldn't drink at all. However, one time they served alcohol at a dinner party, and he got out of control. So Pam made an ultimatum that he give up drinking, or she would leave, so he gave it up for good.

He would have died if he hadn't met her, because his drinking was so excessive, and it was hard on his body.

One would think he would suffer stability boredom, but he didn't. He was content, and he lived far longer than expected.

However, he was ready for the change. Had he met her earlier, the match probably would have never happened. Timing is everything, and maybe for us, the timing will one day be good. So we'll see what the future brings. :-)

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/26/17 01:22 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/26/17 03:18 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/26/17 03:28 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/26/17 08:55 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/26/17 11:49 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

This video is a bit strange with that guy, but the song is great.




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/26/17 11:59 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/26/17 12:19 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/26/17 12:38 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Hi Twin,

It was weird. A little after 9, I felt like I got this message from you, "We've got a date, Babe," and I thought it was you confirming. So as I drove out to my appointment, I kept hearing that thought over again and a sense of excitement that may have been yours. However, by the time I was being needled, you were gone.

If your intention was to think about me at 10:30, and you were occupied, it's okay, because up until then you were thinking about me through the confirmation, so it's all good. I know you are usually busy by 10, so I get it.

Anyhow, you were not obligated, so I take no offense should you feel you stood me up. :-)

Maybe I've got this all wrong, but if I got it right, then it's really cool. It could have been your unconscious, and you were not aware of it. Shit, I don't know. This is all new to me. :-)

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/26/17 01:42 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Benjamin Booker
9:40 AM
Believe
Witness




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/26/17 01:45 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Robert Plant
9:48 AM
Rainbow
lullaby and...The Ceaseless Roar
Robert Plant's new album, "Carry Fire", is due Oct 13




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/26/17 02:05 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Emerson, Lake & Palmer
2:03 PM
From The Beginning
Trilogy




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/26/17 02:59 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

What if every act of self-sabotage brought you closer to your heart's desire? I asked my daughter this when she got fired from a job, and she heard it and seemed to have an ah-ha moment.

I look at this twin flame situation, and I feel it applies. I sabotaged that thing in many ways, and now I am finding I am being brought ever closer to my heart's desire, him.

I believe that God breaks things, so that we are meant to move on. Breaking indicates to me that something is no longer working. So one may be in a relationship, and he breaks it. Most people try to fix it, but it's been my experience with my marriage, that the more I tried, the more broken it became.

So, I think in many cases, when this is so, a relationship is not meant to be fixed. There are times when a relationship can be fixed if God deems that it is transformed, but I don't see it happen often. Mostly, relationships remain tattered with couples desperately holding on.

God breaks all sorts of things, not just relationships. He breaks businesses, organizations, anything and everything. It's the death, re-birth cycle played over and over again.

God uses any instruments he can to break things, and sometimes he uses us in the form of self-sabotage, so we are not to blame, but rather it is God's will acting through us. When we sabotage and break something, it is for the purpose of something new to arise.

I see, for myself, that each time I sabotage, better conditions emerge, and so I have trust that God really wants the best for me. However, it is painful to self-sabotage, and you feel like such a fucking loser. I know I did when I left my mother's house, and, now, on looking back, that apparent "losing" behavior has set me on a "winner's" path.

You never know what's just around the corner. Knowing this, I think it's the best policy when things are broken, and it appears they will not get better, then walk away. The sooner you do walk, the sooner something even cooler can come along.

I know I lived most of my adult life in a relationship that was broken. It started off well, but things went south. When things start off well, you believe you can get that back, and so you stick it out, as I did. However, honeymoon periods don't last, and so it is unlikely you can return to where you began. Still--there are exceptions.

My preference is that God uses me in a more proactive way to end something rather than self-sabotage. Self-sabotage is demeaning and burns bridges. I would rather be given a heads-up from God that something is meant to end, and then I can act swiftly.

He may provide the heads-up in the form of red flags that are usually ignored, and if this is true, perhaps I am not the victim I think am. For if red flags are present, I could start to pay attention, and so avoid having God use me as a means to break things through self-sabotage.

This is a concept I plan to play with as I make my way into worldly life, for there will be many opportunities to self-sabotage. I would love to end this pattern of self-sabotage if a more productive way to let go is available.

Without burning bridges, there's no need for damage control or apologies; you just move on. If a bridge is still standing, it's great, because you never know when you may need to cross it. Repairing bridges is always possible, but, if I can, I would much rather maintain a good rapport from the start.

So I face the future realizing that God has only good intentions for me, and whether I screw up or not, it's always for the best. Of course, this is easy to say now when I am not in the midst of screwing up. The real test will be when I am being used as God's instrument to fuck something up, for if I can smile about it, then I know I am on my way to a magnificent life.

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/26/17 03:10 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

The National
1:42 PM
Carin At The Liquor Store
Sleep Well Beast
The National's new album, "Sleep Well Beast", is due Sep 8




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/26/17 03:54 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Van Morrison
3:51 PM
Into The Mystic
Moondance
Van Morrison's new album, "Roll With The Punches", is due Sep 22




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/26/17 04:17 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

"Two little potatoes are standing
on the street corner. One is a
prostitute...

How can you tell which one is the prostitute?

It's the one with the little sticker that says...

I - DA - HO "


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/26/17 07:18 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Hi Twin,

I just woke up from a nap with the Harry Chapin song A Better Place To Be in my head and felt a profound loneliness, and my eyes teared-up.

Most people have felt this feeling, and it is sad to think about. My daughter feels it often, and I know she did as a kid. She's a likable person who attracts many people, but the loneliness remains.

She said she could never do what I am doing and live alone. Actually, I never thought I could either. I was certain I would have to find a situation with a housemate, for I feared I couldn't take it, but I am fine.

I wonder about you and how you do with loneliness. During the time I was around you, I felt two things about you. I felt you were stuck and that you were a very lonely man, but I had no reason to know this. Also, I remember looking at your eyes with circles under them, and I said to myself, "He looks very tired." Are you?

I felt these things, and I wanted to know you. I was jealous of those who got to spend time with you. I never thought I would ever have that chance, and since we are so different, I didn't think you found me someone you would want to know.

I felt a nice rapport with the small of group of people in our organization who we both related to, but something changed for me, and I felt a distancing from them. I couldn't understand why.

One time I had a conversation with you about how I felt that I didn't have good social skills and did not feel a sense of belonging, and I wondered how it is you could belong so easily. They were taken with you, not me.

For some reason, I have felt that you did not become integrated with them until I showed up, but that might be wrong. However, I got a sense that you opened up some once I was there and began letting them in.

If I am right, then I suppose it's really good that you did, should you have felt a profound loss when I went. And the distancing I was feeling was good, because otherwise I would have really been undone when I left.

They seem to love you so much, and I figured if they knew what I had done that caused you to pull away, they would resent me. It hurts that I may be persona non grata with them, but I know I am never to return. I believe I mentioned that before.

Perhaps God used me as an instrument to sabotage my relationship with those people to make room for an even cooler group of people or you.

Sometimes after one door closes, it takes time for the next to open. I heard someone once call it the "hellish hallway," and I am in it. However, I am sure a door will open, in God's timing, not mine.

In the meantime, I am not really overjoyed to be alone in this hellish hallway; however, this is not new to me. I've lived like this for most of my life. Again, I do feel it is making space for you, for us, so it has a purpose, I hope. :-)

At one point, I was thinking about leaving the organization for good, because I became so depressed after a meeting, for I felt no connection when I was there.

One time I was going through a hard time, and people knew it, and they saw me broken, but no one came up to comfort me. I walked down that flight of stairs in tears.

After that, I didn't want to come, and I spoke of hurting myself sometimes when I was there, because of that alienation. I did leave temporarily, because I didn't feel it was good for me to attend something that made me so depressed.

The woman I am today would have never returned to such a situation. However, I did return, and I see had to, because of you. I had to see this through before I left for good.

The tenets of that organization are not a fit for me anymore. When we meet up, I will tell you how. There are particular concepts that are limiting, and I feel those concepts, in the long run, would have inhibited my growth.

Also, I feel it is set up in such a way that emotional dependence on the organization is certain, and I don't know if that's necessarily good for everyone.

There's a feeling that if you leave, your growth will be undermined, and so built-in is the belief one should stay. Returning is vital for one's growth process, but leaving may be too. If one gets dependent on that sense of family the organization brings, then it feels impossible to leave, yet one's growth may require departing. It can be quite a wrenching dilemma.

I guess I was forced to test the waters by leaving, and, it turns out, the earth is round, and I did not fall off the planet.

If for some reason, you find yourself in the position that you must leave, then believe me when I say that you will be fine. God is bigger than that organization, and if you are meant to leave, it's because he has greater plans for you.

I am writing a lot of stuff here, including this, that may challenge your sacred cows, and I hope you are doing okay with that. This is the place I need to process my unplugging from the mainstream life. I would say this is akin to the plotline in the movie The Matrix.

However, I think my story is so much better, because in that movie they awoke from the dream to find that reality was drab and frightening. My experience is that reality is gorgeous and alive.

However, the movie points in the right direction, because this is a waking up process going on for me, and, whether you like it or not, for you. You can't go back; you can only go forward.

If you have felt stuck, you are in the process of unsticking, and so you will never know that stuck feeling again. I feel stuck in this hellish hallway, but it will pass.

This waking up experience is something I've always wanted, but I don't know if it has been of interest to you, and if it has not been, resistance may have set in.

I've lived my life feeling as if I was chomping at the bit. I am just raring to go, like a Thoroughbred, and feel like Sea Biscuit, the dark horse who no one thought would make it, who finally gets to be in the race and cross the finish line. It's a "pathetic loser's" dream come true. :-)

I don't have to be first, because there is no first here. We are all on our own paths on the track going different places at our own speed, but it will be nice to be part of the race, the human race.

I am here for you, and I will continue to be. You are not alone.

LH





lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/26/17 07:32 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/26/17 09:34 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

My dear twin,

I call you twin, because I don't want to use your name to protect your anonymity. Perhaps I will make up a name for you.

I suspect you may be experiencing a feeling that you don't fit in your world, and yet you aren't a fit with me. So you may feel you are in a no man's land, and this could be uncomfortable. You will get through.

I know I spend a lot of time writing social commentary and other weird shit, and it probably bores you. I couldn't give a damn if you don't read everything. It's all good.

I love you.

Good night,
LH



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/26/17 09:45 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Wreckless Eric
8:54 PM
Whole Wide World
Wreckless Eric


If only I was in the Bahamas, but even with the gentrification going on here, you know I live somewhere far from island living. :-) Constant police helicopters flying overhead and street gangs does not exactly describe a tropical paradise.












lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/27/17 03:47 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Hi Twin,

I dub you Sam. That's the pseudonym I have given to you. If you don't like it, then there's nothing you can do about it unless you come out of hiding. :-)

So Sam, here's a little scene from The Matrix. I'll share more if I find some good clips.

Don't worry, there's no agents to fight. I'm sitting in my house, and so far they haven't shown up, except, of course, real estate agents.

If there is a fight going on, it's internal only. No one seems to care. It's really uneventful. :-)

There's no creepy Morpheus, and the pills I take aren't blue or red. In fact they are tablets, not gelatin capsules, and they are pink and white, and I don't have a choice between the two. I have to take both, and I do take vitamins too. :-)

Based on The Matrix storyline, unbeknownst to you, Sam, you took the red pill. :-)

So enjoy the clip:





lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/27/17 03:56 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/27/17 04:05 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

I didn't know about this series. It looks great.




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/27/17 09:45 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Hi Sam,

I've changed your pseudonym to Sol, since it sounds like Soul. Sol, derived from Solomon, means peace, and your name will remain Sol until the red pill takes enough effect that I see you again. :-)

Sol, I am telling you, that radio station has gotten so fucking good. It's playing really great old stuff they never played before and all kinds of new music too. That station is really assisting me in making this thread pretty damn excellent. :-)

Sundays, by far, are the best.

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/27/17 10:18 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

FYI: Winston Churchill, one of my bipolar comrades, used to refer to depression as the "black dog."





lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/27/17 11:23 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/27/17 12:21 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

I just heard this in CVS:




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/27/17 01:22 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

The Violinares
1:19 PM
I Don't Know
The Violinares Greatest Hits





lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/27/17 01:35 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

The Five Stairsteps
1:32 PM
O-O-H Child
The First Family Of Soul




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/27/17 01:36 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

The Marion Gaines Singers
1:27 PM
Do Your Thing
The Gospel Truth




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/27/17 01:47 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Mavis Staples
1:44 PM
Jesus Is On The Main Line
We'll Never Turn Back





lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/27/17 02:30 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Jerry Reed
2:27 PM
Amos Moses
The Best Of Jerry Reed




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/27/17 02:33 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/27/17 03:00 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/27/17 04:41 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Hey Sol,

I hope your Sunday is going well.

In an email I sent to you, I kept referring to a relationship as an "alliance." No one does that, but at the time I felt there was so much baggage with the word relationship, and I didn't like it. It feels heavy to me, and I don't want heavy, so I was playing around with the word as some writers do.

It's a beautiful word to pronounce, even more, I like the idea of it--the idea that two people, who are involved, can be allies. I have dropped it and have come back to relationship; however, the notion of "allies" still remains in my mind.

At that time, I was thinking about when a relationship is moving to the next level, people say it is getting serious, and I considered that maybe saying that word is the beginning of the end. Serious is not a word that indicates fun, and so maybe that explains why so many relationships are a drag.

I told you that I just wanted to have fun by saying, "Fun is the operative word," and I stand by that. However, if one carries dysfunctional patterns from previous relationships, fun becomes impossible to maintain.

For example, you may behave as you do, and I will suddenly suspect you are being like my ex-husband and react to you as I would to him. However, you are a different person, but I may be seeing your behavior filtered by my past and treat you in the negative way I did with him.

You may then become confused why I reacted as I did, then you respond, then I may falsely interpret your response as being like my ex-husband's, because I am stuck in the way I see things, and then the pattern from my marriage repeats with us.

I think that this is something that happens to everyone. Somehow we attract the same dynamic we had before, and the pattern gets repeated over and over again.

My healthier sister repeats a pattern with her marriage. During the time she was dating the man who was to become her husband, he had her over for dinner and was preparing it. She observed him and took over, saying he was not doing it right. This set a pattern that still remains. She always takes over, and he lets her, because he assumes she knows best.

The problem for her is she is overwhelmed and resentful, and because he is never allowed to do anything, he feels like he is incompetent.

I recognize she plays a role similar to my father, and, he, similar to my mother. So, the pattern exists in her mind, and, unconsciously, she recreates it. His mother treats him like he is incompetent, so he is being treated in a way he expects.

This stuff is so insidious that it scares me, and I am so pleased that we have this time apart for this shit to dissolve, because if we didn't, we would be destined to repeat past relationships.

I don't know if you usually examine these patterns, but it doesn't matter, because, I suspect, if it is not happening already, insights about them may begin to come to you in little ah-ha moments, for you should be in the process of becoming more conscious, a side effect of the red pill. :-)

In my case, the patterns I repeated with my ex-husband were about attempting to please him as I did with my mother. So I compulsively did so at the expense of my interests, and my resentment grew, and so did his, because I became a bitch.

I could see this pattern repeating with you and me so easily. I feel it's already happening, because I have a compulsion to change the things I write to please you. So, a functional relationship would be impossible with this pattern still being played out, and we would end up unhappy.

This energy work is magnificent, and I don't have a clue how it works. I just know it changes patterns. You have seen me change a lot, so I hope by now that you believe there may be something to it.

I don't think I could ever allow myself to live the kind of life I did before, and so these patterns must change, or I will recreate it. If you have destructive relationship patterns, then the energy work is addressing them. So, when we come together, we will be ready and not fuck this up.

This may seem absolutely impossible, but it feels so right to me. I have seen the power of this energy work with my daughter and my ex-husband too, and, I tell you, amazing changes have happened to them. The unhealthy patterns between us all are changing, and it's lovely. Therefore, I am optimistic that we can do this.

I love you.

LH










lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/27/17 07:26 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/27/17 08:07 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Hi Sol,

I wish I could call you by your real name. I love your name. :-)

There's nothing left to do tonight, so I guess I'll go off to bed.

I want to say more, but I don't know what.

Good night,
LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/27/17 11:03 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Hi Sol,

It feels weird to call you Sol instead of by your name. I don't know if I should drop that and go back to the original salutation or use none at all, because writing in first person indicates who I am talking to.

However, Sol is a good name for you, because it does mean peace, and I feel, in my heart, that is something you have never known. Solomon is Shlomo in Hebrew, which comes from shalom, so I feel calling you Sol is a good omen.

I do not talk about your personal life on purpose, since this is a public forum, but I wish I could, because I have so many questions, and I have so many concerns for you.

I hope you still have those emails I sent, because in one of them I mentioned Darth Vader, and if you remember why, you will know what I am talking about. That is what I meant by your hero's journey, and I just know that this is a most treacherous one the likes I could never imagine.

And because I know this, I can easily say I love you, because how can I not love someone who I feel so much compassion for?

Your life must be so complicated, and that's why my offer of the "new world" could be significant, because it is simple, and there will be shalom there.

During the time I knew you, you never made any indication of the kind of things you faced regularly, and I am not sure why, for, certainly, I imagine that you would have needed the support.

I hope that knowing me helped you, because I do inspire, and this ability has assisted many people. If you do miss me, perhaps that's why.

You know about my father, and maybe you can relate to him. I hope you are not too much like him, because you know his fate. However, I don't think you are destined for that. Still, he took on too much playing the hero. He was not a superman; he was just a man.

I think that, like me, everyone should be their own hero rather than count on others to be that for them. For really, only you can truly save yourself. No one else can. If people seek heroes in others, they will only exhaust them.

My father chose trying to save my sister over himself, and he paid for that. I watched what he did, and I choose to be different.

I saved myself, because I am worth it. I was an instrument of God to do it, and he knows how better than anyone. Perhaps he spared my life for you, because I am an instrument of his friendship to you.

I don't know if you can be friends with a woman, but I feel it's important that you do, for I don't think you will find a finer friend than me. A way will be figured out how we can have a friendship and still be involved.

This "new world" I talk about is, as I said, a world of peace. However, the only way it can be so is if each of us gives up the battle inside with ourselves, for then peace between each other is possible.

The battle is the suffering we cause ourselves through our self-hatred, and if we can forgive ourselves for our trespasses, then we may love ourselves.

Seeing everyone as an instrument of God makes it impossible for me to see anyone as God, and that is freeing. Then no one can take me over.

I see, on looking back, that even people used as his instrument to hurt me have served me, but I didn't know that at the time. All that I have experienced has made me the wonderful person I am today and has brought me to you.

Also, those experiences taught me vital lessons that will serve us well. They already are; however, I wish he had chosen other ways to bring me where I am, but that's just how it went.

My troubled sister served me well, even though she was so abusive to me in childhood. I learned so much from that experience, so, I guess, on some level, it was worthwhile, though I have not yet made peace with that. Some things just seem too monumental to make peace with.

Anyway, I hope one day you will make peace with me. I was never in any battle with you when we were in contact. I was confused about your ill feelings toward me, but that was it. I figured that I had hurt you, and that may have been a reason for that. Maybe there was more to it, and one day I hope you will tell me.

I just know I always meant well, and I had profound respect for you, because I felt you were trying to be the best person you could. And now that I think I know the odds against you, I am more impressed than ever.

So, I believe that's all I have to say for tonight.

I know my writing is dense and long, and so it's too much to process. That's how I write.

I like to write to you because it makes me feel closer, and that's a great feeling. However, when we are together, I don't think there should be a reason to write anymore. We can just talk, but mostly laugh.

I've gotten quite funny, and I hope I will get even funnier during the rest of our separation, for when we meet up, it will be my joy to see you laugh.

Shalom,
LH





lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/28/17 01:22 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/28/17 01:28 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

This cool website is about Leonard Cohen.

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/28/17 01:39 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

This first part of this song describes Joni Mitchell's encounter with Chogyam Trunpa Rinpoche. He was a Buddhist teacher in The West who had a great following and wrote excellent books. However, he also was quite a drinker and slept with many of his followers.

This encounter sounds very sweet.

LH




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/28/17 07:53 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Hi Tony,

Now I must be confusing you changing your name. Actually, I wasn't planning to, but I just woke up from a dream and in it, your name was Tony, and so now I don't know what to do. LOL

I wish I could tell you about the dream, but I can't because it's about your personal life. However, I feel, if the dream is accurate, a greater understanding about you and your life.

So My Dear, we are now at 16,506 views. If only I could earn money on each view, because then I could begin to replenish the dowry. :-)

Since we have drawn some interest here, I feel it's okay to write about things that bore you, because it's obvious those things may not be a bore to others. :-) So though this thread is intended to be a love letter to you, it may also be one to the general public. I know it's a labor of love for me, and so that may be part of the draw, because a labor of love is a beautiful thing to behold.

I have read we are meant to be each other's ideal, so that means you are my ideal man, and I am your ideal woman. It's hard to believe, because I don't think we are each other's types at all.

However, I guess, this ideal is wired in us, but we cannot pinpoint exactly what that looks like. However, what I've read is that, if we look back at past partners or people that interested us, we will notice that each had certain qualities that our twin possesses.

I know when I look at the men in my life, I see it's true. Each possessed some good quality that you have, and so if I put all those cool qualities together in one person, he could very well be you.

At this stage, we are the potential of those ideals, but as we develop in the awakening, we will actualize that potential.

According to what I read, people spend their lives looking for that single person who possesses all those characteristics, but everyone falls short, because they may only have a couple of those qualities. Maybe this is bullshit, but it's an interesting notion.

Onto a new subject: A bunch of us attended an occasion together, and, after it, we all went out to lunch, and I had confusion there, because you seemed angry at me, and I didn't know why. I told you in an email why I was late; however, maybe there was more to it.

I don't know if you remember, but you were served a side of beet salsa, and you weren't interesting in eating it. So I asked you if I could try it, and you grunted and practically threw it at me. That clued me in that you might have been angry, and I look forward to clearing this up.

I had hoped you would come to that event, and I was happy to see you there. It was true that I did see that dragonfly, and it was really cool. It came out of nowhere, and the people around me were in awe. It felt mystical.

It also is true that I was seeing a lot of dragonflies at the time I contacted you, and so it is so awesome that I saw that swarm a few weeks ago. I really did stand inside of the swarm, and it was beautiful.

I have some other lovely stories to share about very cool animal encounters. Sometimes my life feels so enchanted.

I have such a beautiful life, and I have wanted to invite you into it. I feel that my life is my art, because it is rich with lovely metaphors and sweet encounters. Therefore, if I never produce any art, I don't mind, because I am living it.

Ours is potentially a beautiful love story, and so it should be no surprise to me, because, with my life, it's just par for the course. It looks like you may one day have the privilege to step into my beautiful life, something I have longed to see happen.

I said to you in an email that, with me, the party will never end, and that is because I am stable. My bipolar condition is under control, and I am committed to keeping it that way.

I also am dedicated to having a stress-free life, so there will not be the kind of anxiety that would bring on a manic episode. I don't believe anything will trigger me by the time you show up, because I trust God will see to it that this works.

The life I am suggesting may sound boring to you, but, at a later date, you may long for that kind of calm after enduring your hero's journey.

The life I am proposing is one of sanity, so my stability is essential. If I want to live a long and healthy life, then sanity is the way to go; I am not in my twenties, after all.

Living a sane and beautiful life, guarantees I will age gracefully--and joyfully.

Enjoy your week. May your Monday not be a manic one. :-)

LH





lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/28/17 01:46 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

I just did my daily walk to the post office, and it's a real scorcher. Tomorrow should be the hottest of the week, up to 109 degrees or more. Fortunately, I have business to attend to over by the coast, and I am delighted.

I think Tony :-) is well aware that the new country will have much milder weather. I don't know if this sweetens the deal to immigrate there, but every little bit helps. It looks like God is working all the angles, and the improved weather conditions is one of them. :-)

Thankfully, I stocked up on coconut water. I found this brand, Vita Coca with pineapple, and it's amazing. When I get a facial, I always am told I am well-hydrated. I don't have to drink water anymore; just a few glasses of this beverage does the trick.

I am not getting endorsement money for this recommendation, but I wish I were, because it would be a great income stream to replenish that dowry. These ideas to earn money through thread views and endorsements just aren't lining up with God's plan. :-)

As part of my mental health regimen, staying hydrated is important, because electrolyte imbalance can wreak havoc on one's mind. Also, because I live in this furnace, I don't go out much, so I take a good dose of Vitamin D3, to keep depression at bay.

I am overjoyed that the HRT is working, because I would be swimming in sweat. Those who have menopause know that even if you are inside on a hot day, you still sweat.

Tony saw me sweating like a pig often, and I think sometimes he may have chuckled about it. I would bring this really big cheese cloth to wipe it up, because the sweating was so bad. I guess it looked rather comedic.

However, now I stay cool, and that will be great when we snuggle. Now--as much as God has found angles to convince Tony that the new country will be better, I am not sure the snuggling concept is working.

So, God has got to be very creative here, because most men would never go for such a thing. :-) Sex is just too important to these guys, so I don't see how this is going to happen. :-)

I sense Tony may be very experienced in this area, and I will admit, I am far from that. After years of a sexless marriage, and very little time dating prior, I know next to nothing. :-) This, too, may be a real turn-off to him, but I need to be real about this.

My understanding is this twin flame "nonsense" is designed this way. We both have lived totally divergent lives, perhaps to the extreme, and, so, we are supposed to come together and balance each other out. So, we will live moderately. That means I will get more action than I have, but he will get less than he used to.

This is sane living, for we will live the Middle Way, as Buddha espouses people to do. If he is reading this, he could be both laughing and feeling worried, and I don't blame him. I have no answers for him, but, as I always say, we have time.

However experienced he is, I suspect I will be the teacher, because this is going to be way out of any box he knows. So, this is the grand irony that this woman who, except for having a baby, barely has had a sex life, will be the pro.

In a way, it is advantageous that I have had so little experience, because I will approach this with, as the Zen Buddhists say, "a beginner's mind." Therefore, I will be an open vessel for originality.

So from that perspective, whatever he has done will be pedestrian, because it's nothing new. No matter how far he has attempted to push the envelope, it will never go as far as what is intended for us.

So, somehow God will work this one out. It could be that Tony will be so exhausted by his hero's journey, that he won't give a fuck (pun intended) about all this, and he will be grateful for something new that doesn't diminish his already depleted dopamine.

So Tony, don't be too concerned. Enjoy the old country while you can. :-)

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/28/17 01:55 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/28/17 03:55 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Van Morrison (ft. Jeff Beck)
1:28 PM
Transformation
Roll With The Punches




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/28/17 04:02 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Tony, this is in the spirit of how I envision us together. :-)

Elton John
3:01 PM
Amoreena
Tumbleweed Connection




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/28/17 06:00 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Pete Townshend
5:57 PM
Let My Love Open The Door
Empty Glass




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/28/17 06:03 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Beck
4:14 PM
Lost Cause
Sea Change




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/28/17 06:09 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

The Grass Roots
6:07 PM
Let's Live For Today
Let's Live For Today




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/28/17 06:15 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Leapy Lee
6:12 PM
Little Arrows
Little Arrows




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/28/17 06:17 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Donovan
6:15 PM
Sunshine Superman
Greatest Hits




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/28/17 06:34 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Radiohead
6:29 PM
Jigsaw Falling Into Place
In Rainbows




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/28/17 06:43 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Randy Newman
6:41 PM
Sail Away
Sail Away




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/28/17 06:48 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Iron & Wine
6:44 PM
Call It Dreaming
Beast Epic




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/28/17 08:12 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Hi Tony,

When I write that I feel like Carmela Soprano. :-) Maybe I should go back to "Hi Twin." I will sit with this some more.

In case you were concerned, I did learn how to parallel park. God found me a couple of instruments to provide parallel parking instruction. The first was a rearview camera that came with my new car.

That was helpful--a bit, but I still couldn't get it. As you know, my garage is used as an art studio, so it's not available to store my car. So one night, while bursting in tears, after multiple failed attempts to park, an idea came to me to hire a driving instructor for an hour lesson.

Therefore, I can safely say that I was able to cross out "become a competent parallel parker" from God's To Do List. I have not shared this concept on the thread, but I plan to.

Suffice it to say, this list concept has changed my life, for it has provided an outstanding exercise in cultivating trust. Since I said to God that without trust in him, I would not surrender, through this method, trust has been building, and, so I incrementally surrender a bit more as I go.

In the previous post I talked about how sexual relations between us might work. For you, more than me, I suspect this is of vital importance, and I haven't a clue about any of this.

However, something may have happened between us that could give some indication about how this might work. If you recall, I wrote in an email that I was experiencing strange vibrations that were full body orgasms.

Something told me that you might have been the source for this experience, since I had read that when a twin has fantasies about his counterpart, this can happen. So when I contacted you through email, I told you so.

Since you never replied about that, I didn't know whether I was on track. I will tell you that it was pretty fucking weird. I was vibrating like a Mexican jumping bean often, and, thankfully, after you threatened me with a restraining order, they stopped.

I don't know if these body orgasms will play a role in what we will do, but I can tell you it feels good, crazy good; and it is true that they did begin to happen while I was driving.

So, perhaps things needn't be so dire because of my limited expertise, for if body orgasms are just a tip of the iceberg, who knows how deep that iceberg goes?

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/28/17 09:39 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Good Night!




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/29/17 03:37 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Hi Tony,

I took a break from my beauty sleep to write.

Did I mention today that I love you? Oh yes, the day is just beginning. Guess not. ;-)

Yesterday I was thinking about the creative process, and I realize that how I judge my work is good is if it flows. I may take creative license with grammar or punctuation, if it adds to the flow.

I see creative people do this with music, literature, and poetry. I hear musical lyrics that are grammatically incorrect, but if I mentally correct them, I see they lose power. It is the power, the flow, that makes great art

When art opens my heart, then it is an amazing experience, the same as I experience with nature. There is a saying that "God cannot improve on a flower," and that's how I feel about art forms that open my heart. When I experience art like a flower, then what's to improve?

I don't know if you have looked at my daughter's LinkedIn profile, but it's sad the creative process she describes. She says that it's driven by a battle with her perfectionism by obsessively reworking a piece until the work is done, when, as she says, "...I reach a kind of breaking point and can no longer continue."

She does amazing art, but it's obvious the process causes her suffering, so I suspect she may not be satisfied with the outcome. There are many unhappy artists who say they are never satisfied. If there's no satisfaction, then what's the point?

I believe if there is the joy of satisfaction, one's artistry natural improves. If there is no joy, one struggles to improve it.

I see there are two modes in my writing process. There is the "edit" mode, and there is the "writing" mode. I enjoy both when they are used properly. The writing mode goes well, if I am not in edit mode, because my mind turns off, and I allow my fingers to fly.

When I am in edit mode, I look at my work critically to seek errors to fix or to address areas that don't flow. When that mode is going well, I love it.

When I find errors to fix, I don't judge them; I simply correct them. If I were to judge my mistakes, I would hate the whole thing.

People talk about "being in the flow," and it's really nice to feel that, but if I am the flow, it's even better. A man may be in a boat on a rapidly moving river, maneuvering beautifully in flow; however, he feels separate from the river, so the fear of going overboard could come up.

However, if he feels he is the river, then he can't go wrong. He will be the water flexibly flowing around the rocks without fear of them knocking him over.

I don't know how my daughter keeps doing art with the process she has. She deals with a lot of anxiety, and I think this may be part of why. She says she would much prefer going into social work rather than pursuing art for a livelihood. She has done a bit of that in a job she had working with mentally challenged people.

I think it's because her heart opens up, when she works with them, and she experiences her humanity. I wonder if you are like her in the service you offer to others in our organization?

I told you because of what I observed in your service, that I concluded that you are a man of great love. I don't know if you do experience your humanity, but if you do, I think that's magnificent.

I have done service work by teaching literacy. Though I was teaching technical skills, I experienced joy by inspiring belief in my student. I hope I experience that same joy when I work with my clients, for they may feel like downtrodden failures.

I know of many young people in this situation, and they have lost all sense of direction. They had been on an educational track that they felt was a certain to bring success; however, it failed them, so they lack faith in anything.

I hope to assist them to rediscover faith and to find their own unique track to success. My spirituality comes through in all I do, and it also will in my work. If my clients can feel hopeful by working with me, I know I will do well.

I don't know if my daughter will seek me out for my service. Perhaps it's best she doesn't, because she accuses me of judging her when I am not.

I could easily fall into giving her unsolicited advice, because she is making financial errors. However, it will create conflict, so I don't say anything.

I have devised a wonderful system for keeping track of my spending that is superior to the one I learned. It is certain she is using that other system, but I can't tell her about mine, unless she seeks advice. It's painful to keep my mouth shut, but I guess that's what good parenting is all about. I'm not equipped for this shit.

So, that's all I have to say. I hope to publish this immediately, but I may be too tired to edit. Yawn!

Take care,
LH



\:\(


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/29/17 03:59 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Future hobblers, maybe there's hope for you:




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/29/17 07:14 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/29/17 08:59 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/29/17 12:37 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Les Friction
9:55 AM
Torture
Single


Tony,

I promise, life will not be like this with me:




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/29/17 01:11 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

How the hell did this song make the playlist?

Patsy Cline
10:42 AM
I Fall To Pieces




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/29/17 01:15 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Elton John
1:05 PM
Border Song
Elton John




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/29/17 01:42 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Here's another positive song about relationships. It reminds me of my former father-in-law. :-)




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/29/17 03:32 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Hi Tony,

I am checking in to see how you are doing.

I have a feeling this admiration I display toward you makes you feel uncomfortable. It's too much, isn't it?

I can't fucking help it, because this love shit keeps coming up like projectile vomit. :-) It's this soul thing. If you are perplexed about all this, you are not alone.

My life has gotten so sane, and I suspect it is juxtaposed to how yours has been. It may seem like a crazy mismatch, and I agree.

To enter the new country, you must show the officials that you are ready for sanity through your humility, and then the gates will open. There's no dual-citizenship available here, so before you enter, you must renounce your old. Once you do, you can never return.

While making that boat passage from the old country, think of the quote associated with the Statue of Liberty: “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses, yearning to breathe free.”; for you may feel exactly like those immigrants.

In the new country, you will be treated lovingly, so perhaps this thread will acclimate you to what that might feel like. It's all waiting when you are ready.

LH








lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/29/17 03:56 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Beth Orton
12:21 PM
She Cries Your Name
Trailer Park





lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/29/17 04:04 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Tony, I think God is using that radio station as an instrument to show his love for you. I hope you listen often.

Cream
3:58 PM
Born Under A Bad Sign
Wheels Of Fire




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/29/17 04:09 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

My sentiments exactly. :-)

Peter Gabriel (ft. Kate Bush)
4:05 PM
Don't Give Up
So




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/29/17 04:20 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Derek & The Dominos
4:16 PM
Keep On Growing
Layla And Other Assorted Love Songs




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/29/17 04:41 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Franz Ferdinand
4:39 PM
Take Me Out
Franz Ferdinand




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/29/17 04:54 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

The title of this song appears to be derived from the Buddhist Noble Eightfold Path.

I interpret "right" to mean "sane," as in being in one's "right mind." Otherwise, one could interpret it be "right" as opposed to "wrong." Seeking to be sane rather than to be right seems more productive.



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/29/17 05:56 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

This was already bookmarked as a song I was going to send to you. :-)


Fleetwood Mac
5:06 PM
Warm Ways
Fleetwood Mac




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/29/17 06:46 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

The National
5:33 PM
The System Only Dreams In Total Darkness
Sleep Well Beast




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/29/17 07:07 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/29/17 07:19 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/29/17 08:53 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Hi Tony,

I hope you did okay with the heat today. I spent only a short time by the coast, and the weather was nice, but then I came home and hid in my air conditioned house.

I wanted to share some thoughts about my ex, because you may not be accustom to exes being on good terms, and I don't want you to have any misunderstanding about my relations with him.

I said our marriage was pretty much sexless, because, in addition to our problems, I think our marriage always was meant to be platonic, but circumstances brought us together as a couple. Ultimately, I believe that the marriage was meant to bring you and me together.

I don't know if you believe my daughter is your soul-daughter, but if she is, and you were meant to meet her in this lifetime, then it was essential that my ex and I conceived her.

In addition, because my ex was not a capable businessman, I was forced to learn those skills to keep the business running. It is those very skills that will serve my independence, necessary to be confident enough to be with you. In addition, with those skills, I can establish our lifestyle and situate everything for your arrival.

I realize this may be too much to believe, but when I connect the dots, that's what I get. Since my marriage served our union, and that purpose has been served, it's over. I don't think it's a coincidence that months after we met, my divorce went through.

So with that, I am available to be yours and no one else's.

My ex and I have an awesome friendship, and I am proud of that. Whatever lingering feelings he may have are none of my business. He lives with his girlfriend and has settled in. It's not a problem.

You know we had short relations, and I called it off. I believe that was an important event, because I had the opportunity to practice radical self-care by doing so, and I grew from the experience. I knew it was a dead-end, and you know how I feel about dead-ends.

I am nearly 60, and a dead-end is a waste of the precious time I have left, so it doesn't serve me to go down that route. I spent nearly 30 years in a dead-end marriage, so why go there again?

I don't know if he will be a part of our lives. If God thinks it will serve our union, then maybe he will. If not, he won't. However, it's a really nice thing when exes get along, because the baggage one carries from a marriage to another relationship is greatly diminished, and so that new relationship has a better chance of working.

Also, because we do get along, he and I will not interfere in each other's new lives. It's taken me a while to get there, because divorce is tough, and I was wounded that he found someone else.

As you may remember, I felt she was a better model, and that did damage to my self-esteem. However, as I am evolving and coming into my own, that wound is healing. I am beginning to see that I am a damn good model, and so what's the threat?

Part of the reason I felt she was a better model is because she is mentally stable, but because I am working diligently on my stability, I feel better about that. In the end, I think I may have surpassed her, for my ex says she suffers from low-level depression.

Because she has never dealt with severe mental illness, she doesn't have the motivation to work hard at dealing with her mild depression, so it's unlikely she ever will. My "illness" has been a gift, because of that desperation to be healthy in mind.

And, of course, so much of that motivation comes from preparing for our future together. Ironically, if I had not been so sick, I would never be this sane.

So, if you have reservations about my rapport with my ex, I don't know if you can be convinced not to worry. I hope God will assist you to be free of such concerns, because you can't enter the new country until you trust me 100%. Therefore, if our union is meant to happen, then you will make peace with this.

I love the idea that my daughter may not feel she has to split her loyalty, but instead she can have fine relations with both of you, and each of you can both be an instrument of God's fatherly love toward her. What a lucky woman she will be.

If so, then events connected to her rites of passage, such as a marriage or childbirth, that you both are a part of, need not be stressful, because you each can support her in your own unique way.

This may sound utopian, but, with energy work, such things are possible, so we will see.

Good night,
LH



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/29/17 09:04 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Mary Wells
6:17 PM
My Guy
HITSVILLE USA: 1959-1971 ( CD-1 )


\:\)




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/30/17 02:15 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

I just woke up with a song in my head that I am about to post. I tuned into that radio station, and these songs played. The first was on right as I tuned in, and the last is playing as I write this:


Elliott Smith
2:12 AM
I Figured You Out
Either/Or (Expanded)


St. Vincent
2:09 AM
New York
Single


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/30/17 02:24 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/30/17 08:40 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/30/17 01:21 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Good morning Tony,

I have a feeling you didn't buy anything I said about my ex. If not, maybe it will grow on you. :-)

I don't know if you are uncomfortable that I still have ties with him through co-owning the house, and whether I explained why I continue to, because after 426 posts, I don't remember shit, and I refuse to go back and look.

One reason is it would take forever, and the other is, if I reread anything, I know I would find mistakes or want to modify things and get upset. Since, obviously, the 6 hour window for those posts is long over, I can't do shit about it. :-)

I wonder if you go through a similar process in your work. If so, it must suck. I imagine your clients are desperate to receive their product, but delivering it quickly, for you, could be difficult, if you can't stop obsessively working on it.

At the same time, I bet they also want a perfect product too, so they may want the absolute best, and they want it yesterday--impossible. I can't imagine what you go through with some of those people. I dread to think about it.

Don't worry, I will get back to the original topic, but this riff is too fun to stop. :-)

The great thing about my diminished joy with writing right now is that I may be experiencing what it's like to be in your head. For I really get the sense that your process is similar to my daughter's, and if that's true, I feel so much compassion for you.

My friend, I just get the sense that it is a nightmare to be in your head, and I hope that one day it will be a beautiful comedy in there.

Now, let's get back to the topic of my co-ownership of this house. It's astonishing what is happening with the values in my area. I heard that there is a house that sold for 1 million; can you believe that?

There is a migration of folks from your area and neighboring communities who are moving here, because of the affordability, so this area has become very desirable, and I never thought I could ever say that.

So, heavy gentrification is on its way, because the demands of this new demographic are very high. I don't know if there will be a Whole Foods here, but you never know. In addition, my area is now sectored off as its own community, named after our lake, (LOL), and this, too, contributes another condition that drives the inflated values ever higher.

I have chosen a realtor who is very connected to that demographic, because I want to make the most money. Therefore, it appears that the longer I wait to sell, the better I will do. How long I am supposed to wait is up to God. Since he knows everything and also creates the conditions for my success, then I must hand that decision completely over to him.

Because I pay the monthly mortgage in full, my ex and I assign the payment as rent for my use of the house. It's a sweet deal for him, because I am keeping up the payments and managing the renovation that I fund. I will be reimbursed half of those funds I expend from his portion of the sales proceeds.

I can't buy him out, because I would have to refinance to remove him from the title, and without income, I wouldn't qualify. Even if I could qualify, it is doubtful I could recoup the cost of the buy-out in such a short time, even in this expanding housing bubble that could burst at any time. Therefore, he remains a silent partner, and he doesn't have to do anything but let the investment grow.

While the investment grows, he is devising a new way to earn a livelihood and developing good money management habits. He feels he may have to do work that is not physically demanding, and he can take this break from earning to explore another avenue, because he lives in his girlfriend's home and is receiving Social Security Disability.

So when the house is sold, he can be assured that he will manage his proceeds well through the money management skills he has acquired, and any remaining debt he still has, he can pay off immediately. Fortunately, because of his illness, his creditors have been understanding.

Now I don't know if you can accept this arrangement I have with my ex, but if you can see it as good business, then I think you will start to see the light.

The business consulting program I started is going well. A volunteer comes to the library once a month and puts in 3 hours, and the library provides the room, while I do the promotion and scheduling. The promotion is easy, because of Nextdoor.com, an amazing vehicle for community networking.

I put up an ad once a month, and I receive requests to be scheduled. It's working beautifully, because the interest being drawn is slow, so the number of requests I receive is manageable.

If a client wants more counseling, then the volunteer does scheduling on his own time. With this approach, the program can keep growing, because there is availability for new clients each month. In the meantime, word about this program is spreading, because the ad is regularly seen, and the Nextdoor membership, community-wide, is large and growing.

My name is associated with the program, and this gives me exposure in the community, so while I am administrating this program, my network expands. Therefore, I am virtually networking in that community while living here.

I suspect that when I arrive, finding a living arrangement during this housing shortage may not be so difficult, because my name will be recognizable to most people as someone doing good in the area. These folks take great pride in their community, so I think many will do what they can to see that I can stay.

God is amazing. I did not plan this, and if you think I am too fucking smart for you, you are wrong. :-( I am not. It is God, not me, and you can access his intelligence just as easily as I do.

I know I am well above average intelligence, but I have met people so much smarter. However, the advantage I have is clarity, and the more clarity I have, the more of God's intelligence I access; and who is smarter than God? No one!

So I can't go wrong, and that's why I am doing all I can to cultivate clarity, because the more I can, the better I will do. With God's intelligence running things, it's amazing what can happen.

So, Tony, enjoy watching this story play out.

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/30/17 02:24 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

The Style Council
2:17 PM
My Ever Changing Moods
Cafe Bleu




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/30/17 05:06 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Tony,

It looks like God is using Target's sound system as an instrument to show you his love:









lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/30/17 05:09 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Faces
4:29 PM
Ooh La La
Ooh La La




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/30/17 05:17 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Tracy Chapman
5:15 PM
Fast Car
Tracy Chapman




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/30/17 05:22 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Beck
5:20 PM
Heart Is A Drum
Morning Phase
Beck's new album, "Colors", is due Oct 13




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/30/17 05:35 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

I have never heard this one before. God must really love you. :-)


Johnny 'Guitar' Watson
5:30 PM
A Real Mother For Ya'
A Real Mother For Ya'




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/30/17 05:57 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

The Jimi Hendrix Experience
5:50 PM
I Don't Live Today
Are You Experienced




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/30/17 06:06 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Hi Tony,

I had this urge to look at your Facebook page to see if there is confirmation that you are here, like a repost from the thread, but I know I can't do that, because what I see may hurt me. I must treat myself well, or I will regress.

If only there was another way for you to confirm without me having to do any searches on you, but I can't think of a way.

My last post indicated that clarity is fundamentally important to me, and if I look, I may lose this wonderful gift.

I am doing my best to guard your anonymity, but I thought you might be concerned that since it is known you are not a Sol, Sam, or Tony, then by process of elimination, someone could figure out your name. :-)

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/30/17 06:11 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/30/17 06:13 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Johnny Nash
6:12 PM
I Can See Clearly Now
I Can See Clearly Now




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/30/17 06:32 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Elton John
6:29 PM
Grey Seal
Goodbye Yellow Brick Road




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/30/17 06:33 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

As my own pick, I follow up with this:




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/30/17 06:41 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Tumbleweed Connection was reissued with an alternative version of "Madman Across The Water" that I like better than the original:






lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/30/17 07:00 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/30/17 08:34 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Good Night!




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/30/17 10:59 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

I love you too.

Norah Jones
10:19 PM
Don't Know Why
Come Away With Me




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/30/17 11:34 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

It's amazing how much God loves you. He's there for you, and so am I. Keep listening to that music. :-)


The Shins
11:27 PM
It's Only Life
Port Of Morrow




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/31/17 08:05 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/31/17 09:00 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/31/17 12:27 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Hi Tony,

It's been a bitch of morning. I found out my laptop downloaded a severe malware program, and since this is my only computer, I must deal with it. I may have to sign off while I reinstall the system, because this damn thing corrupts registries.

Yes, I have some computer tech abilities, but only with Windows. Being poor as shit, we could never afford a paid technician, so I had to learn. Poverty is why I know as much as I know.

Actually, lately, there's stuff I know, and I don't know why I do. I guess I'm accessing a lot of God's intelligence, because I can't explain it any other way.

Why I know about the stuff I shared with you about the details of my house sale is strange, for I have no background for that. You know I have spent most of my adult life watching I Love Lucy, so why would I know much at all.

I see so many people who have done so much with their lives and are accomplished, but I can't say that about me. Still, it is monumental the successful way I have dealt with my mental health. That's something to be proud of; and I did save my house, and the renovation is going well.

Still, I would like to accomplish more tangible things. Right now all that I tell you is based on a blueprint; whether all that I envision is destined to happen, I just don't have a clue.

However uncomfortable that you may be about my smarts, you better believe, Buddy, that you will be grateful for them later. :-) I will need to be as smart as--all get-out, because when your hero's journey comes to an end, there may be a lot of complicated shit to do. You will be exhausted and may need assistance, and if you ask for help, I will be ready.

Still, it is God's intelligence I am accessing, and so I will keep cultivating clarity, because, by then, more of that intelligence may be needed.

In the hero's journey motif, the hero is provided with support in different forms. So, for you, it would be this thread and that radio station. However, I hope you have support in human form, like a trusted mentor or a caring friend.

In my hero's journey I had a mentor, the old man who built the book exchange with the little boy. Remember that story?

He was a retired builder, who had a carpentry workshop in his garage that I met while walking by. We became fast friends, and I visited him often. He was a wise and beautiful man, who supported me through a difficult time and always said to me, "Stay buoyant." I loved that.

I hope you have someone like that, because I am not sure the support of the music and me are sufficient, but if that's all you have, then I guess God feels they are.

That's all for now. Stay buoyant!

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/31/17 02:49 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

I have never heard this Elton John song played on any radio station at any time. Who knows this song? Nobody knows it unless you have the album. :-)


Elton John
2:17 PM
Holiday Inn
Madman Across The Water (Japan Remastered)





lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/31/17 02:56 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/31/17 03:01 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/31/17 03:52 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

I think we could use Miracle Max. Don't you? :-)




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/31/17 04:28 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/31/17 04:43 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/31/17 05:09 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/31/17 09:03 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/31/17 09:54 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/31/17 10:09 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Good night, Kiddo. :-)

lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/31/17 10:22 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Never heard this on the radio before. :-)

Kate Bush
6:59 PM
Running Up That Hill
Hounds Of Love




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
08/31/17 10:24 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Or this....

Maybe the program director is reading this thread, psychically figured out it was his radio station we listen to, and wants to help.

He may get a pay increase from these he changes he is making, if the station receives more donations during pledge week; it's a win/win/win for all 3 of us. :-)


Elton John
5:35 PM
My Father's Gun
Tumbleweed Connection






lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/01/17 01:15 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Hi Tony,

I just woke up from a dream. I was in some spiritual group, and we sat on the floor in a circle with a candle in the middle.

Lately, I have been wearing a long dress with light material to deal with the summer heat, and I was wearing that dress and crossed the room near the candle, and the bottom of the dress lit on fire.

I screamed I was on fire, but it didn't hurt. I was able to put it out, and we were all surprised that there were no burn marks on my foot. In the dream, I attributed it to the siddhis that kept me from burning.

It's interesting, because today I thought that your life consisted of these 3 things: you on fire, putting out fires, or setting fires.

Just now I looked up "trial by fire," and the expression means:

1. "any ordeal which tests one's strength, endurance, or resolve"

2. "A situation in which a soldier or other combatant faces the discharge of opposing weapons, as a test of his or her fortitude"

3. " A rite of passage through the survival or success of a crisis or ordeal"

4. "...medieval practice of determining a person's guilt by having them undergo an ordeal, such as walking barefoot through a fire."

Also, spiritual progress is a process of having one's ego burned up. Maybe one of these fit.

Right now I feel like hugging you and cuddling you, and I realize cuddling is not your thing, but, at one point, as a young one, it would have been. I wish you were able to go back to that time, because I think even grown men need it, and it's a shame they can't do it.

Even though you may not be able to be friends with women, I feel through this process we are undergoing we are already friends. You still have me at a disadvantage, because you continually learn more about me than I learn about you, but I feel I am getting to know you anyway.

You are a brave man, perhaps the bravest I have ever known. :-)

I love you,
LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/01/17 01:26 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/01/17 06:29 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Hi Tony,

I just woke up from a dream that indicated you are uncomfortable with my openness on a public forum. I don't know if that dream indicates the truth, but I hedge my bets.

Although this is a public forum, I believe you may be in an emergency situation. I don't know that either, but I hedge my bets. If I am wrong, then no harm done, because I am writing anonymously. At 22,745 views, I think people are getting a whole lot out of it.

I have been inappropriate on this forum before; however, it may have provided information that was helpful, and, I was in the midst of saving my life. Also, my "inappropriate" openness helped you identify me.

The healers also contributed to assist me to leave my ex. I was so stuck before that, and I had to leave to initiate the undoing of my marriage, so we could come together. They didn't know then that what they were doing was done in the name of true love.

This time around, I recognized that using the healing forum was not appropriate for this thread, so I started it here where topics could vary. This is the best place for what is going on. I am learning.

When we were around each other, I was very open, and it may have made people uncomfortable, and that may be why people pulled away, and it hurt, but I was there for personal growth, and the discomfort of others was secondary, because, there to, I was in the midst of saving my life.

And, you can see the results. I did save my life, and--shit, you can see why it is important that I did, because you may be in the midst of saving your own, so having me alive is really important. I may be wrong about your life's conditions, but I hedge my bets.

I say, "I hedge my bets" all of the time now, because I don't know what's going on, and I choose to cover my ass in case I am dealing with something critical. Out in the world, I am not this way. I have gotten much more reserved.

However, here--now, it's vital I do this. It's also possible that what I am writing may help some people viewing save their own lives, because of what I have shared about my bipolar condition; you just don't know. Therefore, because of our dynamic that necessitated this thread, you play a part in contributing to that valuable public service.

There were things I said that made you, in particular, uncomfortable, and I think God was using my habit of impropriety to make things so uncomfortable for you that it created the tension that made it necessary for me to leave. I had to leave, because my personal growth was being hindered, so it was good I was creating the discomfort for both of us.

The fact that I say that God uses my foibles and bad habits for the sake of this union may sound like a rationalization, but that doesn't mean it isn't true.

At the risk of making you uncomfortable, I wanted to talk about cuddling. Now, I also consider doing this as a public service, because I think it's an important issue.

Cuddling causes one to secrete oxytocin, and that hormone is vital for one's health. Though it is said that regular sex is good for one's health, losing dopamine is not. So I would say cuddling is a better bet, if one wants to maintain one's wellbeing.

If only men could do it, they would probably feel better and happier; however, they are wired to procreate daily. If they were wired to love, they would cuddle all of the time and be thriving. So, it's too bad how things are for men, and it's too bad for women, because they love to cuddle. Therefore, no one is doing as well as they could, and there is severe tension among the sexes.

At the risk of being "inappropriate," I will carry on doing what I am doing here, because ours is a most excellent cause, true love. :-)

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/01/17 06:39 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/01/17 09:49 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/01/17 10:47 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

The Jam
10:28 AM
Town Called Malice
The Gift





lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/01/17 11:07 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Glen Hansard
11:05 AM
Winning Streak
Didn't He Ramble




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/01/17 11:38 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/01/17 02:57 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

I knew a woman who told me the most inspiring story that I feel moved to share. She was a divorcee, a mother of two grown sons; her eldest suffered from bipolar disorder coupled with a drug addiction.

She began to fear for his life, for he was very sick, and she tried everything she could to save him and clean up the messes created by his instability. It was so bad that she was terrified to hear the phone ring, for she never knew what was coming next.

The stress began to eat away at her physical and emotional health, and she realized that it didn't serve her to allow the situation to make her sick. What good could she be for herself or him if she was ill? So she joined a church to find comfort and relief.

With the encouragement of the minister, she began to pray for her son to heal, and those prayers gave her the comfort she needed to cope. She also found the strength to begin to emotionally separate from the issue.

She decided she was no longer going to run frantically to rescue him but sometimes give the universe a chance to intervene. She realized she had no control and had to entirely hand the situation over to God. Letting go comes in stages. It's rarely a one-shot deal.

The prayers were comforting for a while, but then she began to see he was getting worse, so one day her prayers suddenly transformed into prayers for his peace, in whatever form that took--even death. I do not know how she had the strength to accept this possibility, but she knew she had to, or she, too, would be destroyed.

So she prayed for his unconditional peace, and the day came--he committed suicide. Because of her prayers for his peace, she was not destroyed; she grieved, yes--but not in the way you would expect, because there was a strength she had found in her spirituality.

She went through her grieving period and then began to embrace life. Today her eyes shine brightly, and she has unrelenting passion to live, for she found, as the Bible says, "a peace that surpasses all understanding" that still remains today.

LH



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/01/17 03:15 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Buffalo Springfield
8:49 AM
Bluebird
Buffalo Springfield Again





lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/01/17 04:22 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Little Feat
2:55 PM
Cold Cold Cold/Tripe Face Boogie
Feats Don't Fail Me Now





lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/01/17 04:37 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Peter Gabriel
4:35 PM
In Your Eyes
So




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/01/17 04:47 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Elliott Smith
10:55 AM
Waltz #2 (XO)
XO




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/01/17 04:49 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

I have to repost this. I love it so much. :-)





lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/01/17 05:00 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Van Morrison (ft. Jeff Beck)
4:57 PM
Transformation
Roll With The Punches




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/01/17 05:03 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Mink DeVille
5:01 PM
Mixed Up, Shook Up Girl
Cabretta





lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/01/17 05:06 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

The Impressions
5:04 PM
Gypsy Woman
The Impressions





lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/01/17 05:09 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/01/17 05:43 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/01/17 06:14 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/01/17 06:15 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

The Staple Singers
6:13 PM
I'll Take You There
Single





lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/01/17 06:32 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Badly Drawn Boy
6:04 PM
I'll Keep the Things You Throw Away
Being Flynn ST




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/01/17 09:10 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Hi Tony,

I hope you are okay today.

Shit, I can't believe it is already September. Before I know it, we will have not seen each other for two years. How strange that is. I wonder if it will be 3 or 4?

When I told my healer that I suspected this was a twin flame situation, he said it could take many years. I didn't believe him, because he is so skilled and powerful; however, I sense your emotional baggage must be heavy, because your life appears to be so complicated, so he is probably right. You observed things in my life resolve before I left, but until your life resolves itself, we will not see each other.

The story I wrote today about that woman was critical to hear at the time, for I was going through something similar with my daughter.

That time with my daughter was scary, but I had to let go. Rather than choosing prayer, I asked this board to assist my daughter, so the healers, unknowingly, made another contribution on behalf of true love.

When I see you, I will tell you what happened with my daughter. It was one of the most wrenching things I had to do, but any other option would have been detrimental to both of us.

So many years may pass, and I will wait for you, because there is no one else for me but you, and with all that I now know about the futility of relationships, I see no point in looking. Since this is guaranteed to work, it would be a waste to pursue things that are destined to fail.

In the meantime, I will learn how to live an independent life and find out who I am. I am not into material things, never have been. However, I would like to see if I can make a lot of money, for no other reason than just to see if I can. Otherwise, I couldn't care less.

I suppose it's my rites of passage to find out, since I have been unworldly for so long. How much money it will be? I don't know; that's up to God. Maybe we will make it together, if that's an important rites of passage for you.

You were aware I was afraid of receiving a large sum of money, but it's not scary anymore. It's just numbers with more digits to the right of the dollar sign than I have been accustom to. I am comfortable with it, so it's not a big deal. I think with this ease I am feeling about it, things may go well.

It's funny; when I received that inheritance, I was still on food stamps, and I had a month left to use up the funds. Talk about your rags to riches story. :-)

There is plenty to do while waiting for you, so it's no biggie. Life doesn't have to stop just because my true love is finishing up his hero's journey. If only you had the luxury I did of having yours finish before mine, but it appears yours is much longer, because you were saddled with a harder journey.

Did I tell you that you are the bravest man I know? I know I did, but I wanted to tell you again. :-)

Good night,
LH






lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/01/17 09:29 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/01/17 10:20 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/02/17 02:11 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Hi Tony,

A question came to mind, "What is emotional baggage?"

When I was a kid, I felt like that when my mom was displeased, she withdrew her love. Now, when you are small that experience is frightening for the feeling accompanied from the loss of love feels as if you will die.

Love feeds a young one, so when it is withheld, it feels like you will starve to death, and that experience leaves one with the emotional baggage of a profound fear of abandonment that we take forward into our lives.

So for me, it would manifest into people-pleasing, because of the fear I will lose the love of others if I displease them. So when I people-please, that original fear of dying becomes the source of that behavior.

If ever I perceive a loss of love from another, then I re-experience that original pain, and when I do, that fear from childhood is reinforced, and then a layer of pain from that new experience is added upon the old.

This goes on and on for the rest of our lives. Layer upon layer builds, and as it does, defenses against being hurt get ever stronger. They become like walls, making it more difficult to get close to others.

One may say, "Get over it" with regard to that original pain, but it is not possible, for it is carried deep inside of us.

For me that experience of the withdrawal of love is akin to feeling like a little baby abandoned in the middle of a busy street. It is so terrifying that as I have grown up, I will do too much to please others rather than to experience that fear.

I will often compromise my values or put other's needs first before mine, to please. Ultimately, what accompanies that original pain is the feeling that "I am bad." And when one feels that about oneself, one will continually do things that reinforce that feeling or push away good things that come one's way.

When I experienced that feeling that accompanied the event when my mom implied I was a pathetic loser, another level of pain was added. However, it was an important moment, for I looked back, and it explained why my life looked as it did, for that belief that I was a pathetic loser, I think, I felt for most of my life, manifested as a life that a "pathetic lose" might lead.

I married a man who wasn't good enough for me, who took shitty care of me; and I lived a life of extreme financial hardship. If someone came along who would be a better match, I would have been sure to run.

Ultimately, what is a loser? It is someone who never wins, and also someone who loses things. I lost so many things, mostly relationships, because I burned bridges.

I have set my sights on dissolving the layers of baggage through energy work, because I want the life of a "winner."

For me, in my case, a winner's life consists of being someone with financial success, good friendships, living in a place I love rather than settling--even a romantic relationship with someone I felt was my match, who loved me--but most of all, that I loved deeply.

These layers destroy any hope for happiness, because the one who has withheld love from me has become me. In a way, I am the one responsible for building all of those layers, and I haven't been able to do anything about it, because I can't get away from me.

These behaviors are insidious, because they are wired in us, and we do them without thinking. And so, the experience gets repeated, and we just don't know why. They are a knee-jerk reaction we don't even know we do.

Often, we will attract the very people who would reject us, so we may think that everyone is an asshole, but that's not true. We simply attract assholes. If a nice person comes along, we might reject them, for we wouldn't have a clue how to relate.

Sometimes our behavior may cause an, otherwise, nice person to become an asshole, because negative neuroplasticity that is caused by our behavior toward them may rewire their brain to one of an asshole. Or, they may be a perfect neurotic match for our neurosis--and both parties play out the original pain they experienced as children.

The work I do with healers is dissolving those layers, and that's why I am taking good care of my money. If I didn't do that work with them, I would be sure to lose it. The same applies to my health, for if those layers remained, I would never approach my mental health with the care I do.

It goes on and on, the positive changes that have taken place, because those layers are dissolving, and I am becoming a new person, one who feels valuable and worthy of good things.

I will continue with this work, because the promise of a relationship with you is the best thing I could ever imagine. And so, I must feel completely worthy, or I will fuck it up for sure.

Even if you don't feel you are a match for me, I know that you are. Yes, you have emotional baggage that may keep you from being that amazing man, but I know underneath it all, you are.

So, the energy work being done on you is dissolving that baggage too, so when you come to me, you will be that perfect match, and I will be that for you. Therefore, it is all being taken care of; however, it will take time to dissolve that emotional baggage, and so we wait.

It's a beautiful gift these healers offer to us, and I am grateful to them for their kind generosity. For them, perhaps, they may be dissolving their emotional baggage from assisting us, because with this work, that can happen, so they too may see the promise for a most excellent life.

Everybody wins. It's lovely.

LH









lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/02/17 02:36 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Jesse Belvin
1:55 AM
Goodnight My Love
CD




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/02/17 08:22 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Good morning Tony,

God, I hope you are here, because--fuck, that song I posted was on the radio while writing last night's post. However, I didn't know, because it was off.

After I posted, I was looking through the radio playlist to find the perfect song to post, and there it was. Now who the hell is Jesse Belvin? And that radio station doesn't play that kind of shit. I am telling you, there is so much support for us, that it's nuts.

This energy work is amazing, because the answers begin to come, and the ability to see things in a new perspective start to happen, a more expanded perspective.

You don't need to try to change yourself; you just begin to change. Habits that you have that you feel are holding you back begin to fall away, or you don't choose to do them.

Any spiritual work you do will become profoundly deeper. If while observing me, you wanted my level of growth, you will have it. It's coming.

It was amazing what happened with my daughter, because she really was in a dire situation, but blessed things she needed kept coming, and the insights were pouring out of her.

She is funny. That energy work assisted her to pull out of so much shit that she asked me to thank the healers; however, now she says it's bullshit and wants nothing to do with it. Even though she came through that very challenging time, she is still not in a great way. Since she doesn't want anything to do with it, I haven't posted any more healing requests for her.

She's got issues with me, so she often handles them by rejecting stuff I am into. However, I think when she sees us together, her pride will dissolve, and she may want to work with my energy healer, because she's going to want to have the good life I have, a happy relationship with a wonderful man who adores her--and all of the rest.

Suddenly I may become the oracle of truth to her; now that would be a switch. As you know, I want to do what I can to make it up to her for the shitty mother I was, and so it looks like that will happen in a very BIG way.

I said that you are an amazing man, and I kid you not, for it truly is amazing all that you have endured. Also, if you can pull off navigating through your hero's journey while making the progress that this energy work provides, you will astound me.

I will have to process this amazement of you, otherwise, it will make the insecurity that I am not good enough grow. However, I was given challenges, and I came through like a trooper, so perhaps I am worthy. It's just that my challenges were not nearly as difficult as yours, and I truly am thankful for that. :-) This insecurity will pass, for God will see to it, through this energy work.

Signing off for now.
LH









lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/02/17 08:25 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/02/17 02:46 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Hi Tony,

I don't know if you caught what happened today on the radio, but it convinced me that God is using that station to assist us.

The DJ announced he was going to play the Beatles song "Baby You Can Drive My Car"; however, the song, he played was "You Won't See Me," with a similar situation. In our case, I left you; you won't see me; and you grieve. :-)

Right after that, he played the song he originally announced, then he came back to identify the songs he had played, but he did not mention "You Won't See Me" at all. It was as if, to him, it never was played.

This is nuts, and I love it.

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/02/17 05:26 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

You all have heard about my stance about staying away from dysfunctional stuff, well I am at an impasse with my bookkeeping software.

I use Quicken, and suddenly the company wants me to create a password and ID to access the file on my hard drive, so I did, and I tested it on the website, and it checks out. So now I try to logon to my file, and it's a no-go, and customers everywhere are reporting this problem, and customer service is of no help.

Quicken's website has a patch that one can download that is supposed to fix this issue, so I downloaded it, but when I try to run it, I get an error message. :-(

I have loved this damn program, and I can make the switch to another, but I want to keep the history from my old file, and since I can't access it, I can't do that. Woe is me; my bank statements arrived today, and balancing my checkbook is the highlight of my month. Now I have nothing to look forward to in September. :-( So, this is the kind of crazy shit happening in the world that I have been talking about.

I have insulated myself as much as I can from this shit, but you can only do so much. Also, my not-very-old wireless router has become unreliable, and I'm trying to see if I can find a used one from the Pre-Trump era before the smart phone induced mental deterioration took over. I used to have an awesome little Linksys that was so reliable, but I made the mistake of upgrading. :-(

I said in a previous post that smart phones take a long time to load, so people won't turn them off. I discovered that the reason it takes so long is because apps draw too much power. However, the smart phone world is app-driven, so what is one to do? Also, now when the battery dies, you have to replace the whole phone, so one is forced to upgrade, and like I said, "Upgrades are downgrades."

I am so glad I am hanging on to that little plastic phone I received as government aid. Since I have money, my free service runs out soon, and I will have to begin paying $20 per quarter. It's a very small price to pay for functionality. :-)

Somehow God will come up with a solution to my bookkeeping dilemma. If he can get a DJ to enter another dimension and play a song just for Tony and me, and then return to play the one he intended, then certainly he can come up with something. :-)

LH



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/02/17 05:45 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/02/17 07:33 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/02/17 07:44 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/02/17 07:51 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/02/17 07:57 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/02/17 08:01 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/02/17 08:07 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/02/17 08:54 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/02/17 09:00 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/02/17 09:30 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Good Night!




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/02/17 09:53 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Haven't gone to sleep yet. I'm still playing around. :-)



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/02/17 10:02 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/02/17 10:22 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Hi Tony,

Still haven't gone off to bed yet...almost there.

Shit, coming together is going to take such a long time. It makes me sad to think about it. Damn!

I was going to order Japanese food for dinner from this place I found with great food. I usually order a teriyaki beef box with rice, tempura, sushi, and, my favorite, seaweed salad. I wished I could have invited you over to join me. It's a bitch, this waiting.

I will ask God to help me find the best way to cope with this waiting, or, better yet, I will put it on his list of tasks to do for me. I'm sure he will find some time to get around to it.

Love,

Me--Lovingheart


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/03/17 03:48 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/03/17 04:00 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Hi Tony,

I've gotten a message you want me to stop posting, so I will stop until I hear otherwise.

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/04/17 09:00 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Hello Friend,

I hope you are doing all right.

I feel you may worry that I will die before you and fear you couldn't handle the loss; however, because I am not living under the stress you bear, it may be you who goes first. Since this separation could take many years, I don't know how your health will hold up.

Whatever happens, know that when you come to me, I will take the very best care of you, and you will have a perfect environment to rest and heal. If you need medical help, and you don't have the appropriate medical team, I have excellent resources.

Don't worry about the dowry; your life is worth the money.

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/05/17 03:39 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Hi Friend,

I sensed you wanted me to post today, so here I go.

This morning I saw that my rear license plate was stolen; therefore, I attached a note in its place that said "License Plate Stolen," so I would not get pulled over.

While driving to my acupuncture appointment, the Neil Diamond song, "Coming to America" came on. That station never plays Neil Diamond, and I haven't heard that song in years. I laughed, because it's about immigrants coming to a new country.

Soon after it played, I was stuck in a traffic jam, and I looked in my rearview mirror, and I could swear it was you behind me. If you saw the note on my car, you now know it was me.

After a bit, the man, alleged you, passed me on the right and drove off.

If that was you, I chuckle all the more, because perhaps you were heading out to scout the "new country," and that fits, because the song lyrics say, "They're coming to America today..."

The area I want to live may not suit you, but, for me, it is a stepping stone, because it's better than where I am. Also, I can easily find housing and launch a business there. I have always felt it would be temporary until I find something that suits me long-term.

The advantage, for you, is that I will be near, so when you need me, I will be easy to get to. If you are in very bad condition, it's the perfect environment to recuperate. It's gentle, quiet, and walkable. Also, having that ocean nearby will be fantastic. In addition, there is moderate hiking you can explore while getting your strength back.

Before we make any big location moves, it's best you are in tip-top condition. Also, if you have ongoing treatment with your doctors, we have to stay. When it makes sense to move, I can replicate my business anywhere.

That man may not have been you, but the idea that it could have been made my eyes well up, because it's a very sweet notion. If it was you, and you were going somewhere else, it still was good to see you.

I use the term the "new country" as a metaphor; however, it is not a geographical place; it's wherever we are once we are together.

LH




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/05/17 06:59 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/05/17 08:51 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/06/17 02:16 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Hi Twin, Tony, or Friend:

You make your choice :-)

I will try to keep this short, because I am so fucking tired. :-) Here's another happy face for you. :-)

I woke up wondering whether you might suspect that I won't come follow through or that God is leading us down some merry path only to let us down.

I don't know, but I think this is for real. If you are going through a rough patch, this may give you hope that there is something better.

The stuff I believe may be going on with the radio station could be a coincidence; however, the number of views here continue to grow, and that's a fact. It increased the night before by 6,000.

I contacted the forum moderator and asked her what constitutes a view, and she said, "Anyone," which includes people who are not members or logged in.

These numbers indicate to me that this union is a big deal. Why us? I don't know. I'm no one, just some anonymous person, but, on a soul-level, this is really something special.

So, if those numbers tell me anything, it is that God will come through, and all we can do is just keep moving forward.

I know we are not ready to unite now, because there are a lot of changes that must take place, so it's no big deal if we are not yet suited, because, as I said, there is plenty of time and, obviously, a whole lot of help.

I predict those numbers would keep growing even if I take time off from posting, and it's so lovely how much support we have. I don't know if you have ever felt much support in all of your life, but, finally, here it is.

So, my friend, have faith. :-)

LH



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/06/17 05:42 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Hi Friend,

It's a bit over 2 hours later, and I had more thoughts. Be prepared for a whole lot of mistakes, because I'm too fucking tired to be a perfectionist. You'll just have to deal. :-)

If you noticed, I did not mention the vehicle that man behind me was driving, because if it was you, I wanted to protect your identity.

I said changes need to happen before we reunite, and one of those things could take decades, your libido. It's just a guess, but I think you may have too many outlets, and you know what I mean. :-) God definitely needs to do some fine-tuning there, and I don't think it will be as painful as what you may be thinking. :-)

I've told you that you are not easily impressed, so God had to make me very impressive to you for you to take any notice. It had to be what was between my ears and not my looks. I am an attractive woman, but I am not model material, and it was necessary that I am not.

For if I was, I would probably be very different, because I would have been rewarded too much for my appearance and not have developed my inner qualities, so I have developed a rich inner world; and I think that quality fascinates you, so it needed to be as it is.

I had to be pragmatic, because you would respect that, and I must be an original thinker, because that would stimulate your mind.

Since I went inward, then as a result of my fucked up family, I spent most of my time analyzing psychodynamics, so I have a keen mind for that kind of analyzation. Because of how you developed, I don't think you have been reflective in this area, so my ability to convey these ideas is important for you to wade through the emotional baggage you carry.

Although I am not model material, I am meant to be attractive enough not to gross you out and optimally good-looking enough for you to have interest.

Most of all, I am fun; and I don't think you've had much of that, so my ability to make you laugh a lot is really essential. I can be a smart-ass, which I think you like, but the humor also has to be warm and clever. :-)

The list of my wonderful-ness could go on and on, but, as I said, I've been designed to impress a man with high standards--and, of course, because I now realize I have so much wonderful-ness, this cultivates confidence, and that also is something that would impress.

Two things are really important to me about the man in my life: he must really love my face and laugh at my jokes, and when I say, "laugh," I don't mean a smirk or a giggle; I mean fall-down-on-the-floor laughing.

If God rubberstamps these requests, be prepared for a most excellent life.

LH









lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/06/17 12:06 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Good morning Friend,

I have said that nothing is bigger than God, and I mean--nothing. That also means Darth Vader. As big as he was, the powers of the force were greater. How was it possible that Luke could blow up that Death Star with a single shot? That's how vulnerable these dark characters are.

I observed the same in the Lord of the Rings. Those dark creatures kept coming after the heroes, and it was crazy how easily the heroes defeated them; each time they did, more would come that were increasingly larger and more formidable.

In the hero's journey motif, supernatural forces may come to the hero's aid. It sounds impossible in real life; however, what is supernatural, really? Supernatural events are things that occur outside of how we expect the natural world to behave.

If we have swallowed the red pill, then the rules of the Matrix will not always apply to us. Therefore, we may witness "supernatural" forces. I know I have.

One night, I observed a fly in my kitchen. Later, I was sitting in the living room with an empty drinking glass, when, suddenly, the fly was inside, and I did not see it fly in, so how was I to explain it? I, then, put my hand over the glass and went to the front door to let it out, and while was walking, the fly lit up like a light; I kid you not.

Now, on a quantum level such an occurrence would be possible, because particles spontaneously position themselves anywhere; however, I could see the fly, so this was not on a quantum level; therefore, the whole damn fly apparently materialized in that glass.

Another strange thing happened with bugs. As you know, I was going to install a book exchange in front of my house. One day, I went and looked inside, and there were black dots everywhere. I investigated further, and it was infested with earwigs, and the black dots were feces. It was so disgusting.

I had the thing fumigated and then donated it to someone, who was going to refurbish it for their own use. If I am going to sell this house, I can't afford to have bugs show up in my book exchange, if potential buyer happens to take a peek inside.

It's too bad, because my real estate agent told me she sold a house with one, and it made it more marketable so much that she sold the house within days. In addition, for the demographic I want to attract, this structure trends, but I digress.

When the exterminator looked, he was shocked and said he had never seen anything like this before, a good sign that the supernatural is involved.

I also had problems in the house, and, despite his efforts, the earwigs didn't go away. Eventually, the problem did work itself out; however, before it did, a strange thing happened.

I have a night guard I wear, and I keep the container in bed next to me. There are a couple tiny air holes in the container, and one morning I woke up, and an earwig was inside. What were the chances that would happen? I mean, it was dark in my room all night, and how did he find his way into such a small hole? I am convinced this was another example of an insect materializing.

Now, I mentioned siddhis, and with them, things can materialize. To process these strange occurrences, I've now expanded my concept of how nature behaves. However, unlike usual natural events that are predictable, this stuff doesn't appear to be; so I am always dealing with the unexpected.

I've read many stories like these on this forum, but I never knowingly dealt with supernatural forces, but I am adjusting. Therefore, it appears that this twin flame dynamic does involve supernatural forces.

Therefore, if this is true, then we should not be concerned that something will get in the way of this union, for its protection is in good hands. If you have those kind of fears that this could go wrong, I can tell you it probably won't

Just as Westley and Buttercup got together, against all odds, so will we, for true love is a sure bet.

I never believed in this shit before, and I can't believe I am writing this, but this is true love we are experiencing. In my mind, true love is simply love without emotional baggage. Without that, it is pure.

Heroes in fairy tales don't appear to have emotional baggage, for with the upbringing Cinderella had, she would have fucked that whole thing up with the prince. There is no way she could so easily marry him, because she would have feared the jealousy of her stepsisters and stepmother. Therefore, she would have compromised and run like hell.

These folks in fairy tales aren't complicated. I, on the other hand, have to go on medication to have any chance in uniting with my true love. I guess today it's just a different world.

Also, you would think that after the prince in "Sleeping Beauty" slew that large dragon to enter the castle that he would have suffered from PTSD. In fairy tales, no one does; they simply face horrific things without any down-time after.

This is unrealistic for after dealing with such intense fear, we suffer great trauma. However, so far in any fairy tale I've read, no hero sought out a prescription for Xanax. Have you noticed that?

So, though we are dealing with the potential for true love, we have baggage that currently holds us back from uniting. In addition, you may be enduring a lot right now; however, against all odds, we will overcome.

This seems impossible, but how likely was it that you would find me here? I never talked about Matrix Energetics before or energy work, and so you had no clue I was involved with this stuff. It is obvious to me that God will find a way for this to happen, and, in fact, I think it is scripted. With that in mind, one's worries dissipate.

These days I don't know what the fuck is going on. I used to believe in free will, and now I don't know. Since I don't know, I change my view about it whenever it serves me. If I am dealing with something like the stolen license plate and traffic jam yesterday, I say it's scripted, and then I'm not mad. If you were there and saw the sign on my car that would identify me, then it would appear that it could have been scripted, and that's funny to me.

On days when I feel good about what I have done, I say it's free will, because I need the strokes. So whatever PoV serves my emotional wellbeing I adopt. Who the fuck knows?

So, if this has been scripted, and you can accept that, then maybe that attitude will make things a bit easier, because, I believe, that in our story, the hero will triumph, you.

All the forces are with you, supernatural or not, and you can summon them, and you already are. For if beautiful music is flowing out of that radio station designed to provide comfort or insight, then you are summoning that.

You can look at it as free will if that empowers your, or you could look at it as scripted, if that feels better; or you could switch it up. Ultimately, the most important thing is we are being purified of our emotional baggage in preparation for the reunion, and true love will prevail.

LH








lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/07/17 06:15 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Hey Friend,

Every time I hear this song I feel so much warmth for you. It speaks to me of your journey as one of being uplifted.

I plan to repost it often.

LH




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/07/17 11:10 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Hi My Dear Friend,

I am feeling such warm feelings for you today.

I keep seeing the image of that man driving in back of me, and I am so curious if that was you. This "alleged" twin sighting took place on the same street in the same direction that I experienced my first body orgasm. Just so you know, during that alleged sighting, I had not one single vibration. :-(

Even if the man behind me wasn't you, it was a great test for me, because whenever I think I see you, I get freaked out. However, yesterday I didn't feel that way at all. I was calm, so I think I am making progress toward the reunion. That's big!

This morning the concept of your many outlets came to me; and I felt that you may be concerned how, given your desire for outlets, this could ever work.

During this separation I have had a lot of time to think about this, and I now see that even with all my wonderful-ness, I could never keep your attention. Even if, in addition, I was drop-dead gorgeous, it would be the same. It has nothing to do with my desirability; it's just how you are designed.

If you are still wired this way today, this would be an absolutely impossible situation. Because you are such a handsome, desirable man, then with your predilections, it would be a most shitty situation for me. It would be constant drama, suspicion, and jealousy, and you would not like who I would become and neither would I.

It's taken a long time to like who I am, and I wouldn't want that to change. Also, my life is stable, and I don't want that kind of drama, and the stress would be terrible for my mental health. It would rip us both apart inside.

You have tremendous animal magnetism that is so attractive, and this would be problematic everywhere we go. I would be hesitant to introduce you to friends and family. God, it's a nightmare just thinking about it. It's not about my lack of confidence but rather an understanding of how you are wired.

So, we are dealing with a seemingly impossible situation. Now maybe you don't really want this to change, and I don't blame you, because it's probably fun. Why would you give all that up for me? You would have to think I am really worth it to give that shit up.

Now let's say you feel I am worth it, you couldn't give it up even if you wanted to, because the stakes are against you due to your appearance and charm. Also, that attention may naturally give you a feeling of value, and that would be hard to give up. Therefore, since this is fundamentally a design issue, and God is the designer, then you are powerless to do anything about it.

I have suggested that everything is scripted, so if everything is scripted, then God also is the script writer. If God is the script writer, then why the fuck can't he change the script? Of course he can, and this is exactly what he is doing through your transformation. :-)

The script you came into the world with is coming to a close, and a new one is being developed. I have told you some of the developments underway in terms of our life together; however, this new script can only work, if the male character changes. Since you are that character, and the script calls for you to be true to your sweetheart, then you must transform.

If you no longer needed to receive your sense of value from the sexual attention of others, much of this problem would resolve. So where would that sense of value come from? From within you; and how can you access it? Through this transformation, for it's meant to assist you to access your intrinsic value. However, that's only a part of the solution.

I have done some research on oxytocin and discovered something pretty fucking interesting. Experiments have been done on people who are in love, bubbling over with oxytocin. It is been demonstrated that when men are in love, they don't notice anyone but the object of their love, and they unconsciously distance themselves from other potential mates.

Therefore, theoretically, if you were able to have oxytocin pumping all of the time, there would be no temptation, and then all you would look at is me, and you joyfully would be true.

Initial oxytocin-driven "honeymoon periods" do end; however, if our oxytocin remains constant, ours wouldn't. That's how it's meant to be for twins, but emotional baggage short circuits the oxytocin flow.

Therefore, this work God is doing on us using healers, a radio station, dragonflies, and the like, is addressing the baggage. It always comes back to the baggage.

Why you are wired as you are and another man isn't I don't know? Your tendencies may be patterns that have existed in your ancestry. Also, I have read that a significant percentage of people in childhood may have had encounters with family members that reinforces this tendency. I hope that's not true for you, because that is heavy emotional baggage to carry.

If this is true, without God's intervention, this could never work, for your guard would always be up. So, for there to be any hope, that baggage must dissolve. This is an intense thing to write; however, it would be essential to address if there is to be any future here. If God decides that this is the time for you to deal with it, then he will help you through.

While we were still connected, you said something that made me go, "Wow!" It was a change you noticed about yourself related to these tendencies, and I felt it was a big deal. Therefore, it is apparent to me that you were transforming even then.

I don't know if you have regressed; but even if you have, it doesn't matter, because I saw for myself that you are capable of dramatic change. Because of that, I am confident.

The libido is a complex issue, and I know you will master it with ease. Somehow this will work out. Yes, it may seem impossible, but we have supernatural forces at play. In the Matrix world, one would not expect that you could change, but this is beyond the Matrix. Remember, we both swallowed the red pill. :-)

In the realm of the supernatural, anything is possible. If a fly can materialize in a glass and light up, then surely your issues can resolve; and you can heal from any harm you may have experienced as a boy.

I love you.

LH






lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/08/17 09:31 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/08/17 04:25 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/08/17 04:34 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/08/17 04:54 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/08/17 05:02 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/08/17 05:17 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/08/17 05:29 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/08/17 08:35 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/09/17 01:21 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Hi Friend,

Listening to "To Sir With Love" made me think about what you witnessed with me during our time together; I would call it "growing up."

When I left my mother's house and returned here, my life was a complete mess, and I felt it was too late for me to build something worthwhile. As you know, the money situation was shit, and I felt I had nothing to show for all my years of living.

Prior to moving to my mom's, my house was underwater, and a short sale was being considered; however, my ex wanted to hold onto it. I couldn't care less, because I knew it was unaffordable, so, before we lost it, I decided to jump ship before it sank. When I returned, I didn't realize that the value had risen, so I mistakenly believed it was worthless.

With that in mind, I looked at my tattered life, and I arrived at the conclusion that I had never lived as a grown-up, so I wrote on a piece of paper, "Become a mature human being," and slipped it in a prayer box.

This initiated a movement toward that intention by first committing to a treatment plan for my mental health; then focusing on acquiring financial tools; and then taking great pains to mend the many bridges I burned while at my mom's.

While in my mom's community, I had opportunites to relate to people I admired who appeared to be "mature human beings," and I realized, while sitting in the wreckage I had created, that those were the people I wanted to model myself after.

I had never met people like them before--only people, like me, with arrested development, and, with them in mind, a vision began to develop as to who I wanted to be.

Those people are more conservative than me, so I won't be exactly like them, but it's the stability of their existence that impresses me. Also, I attended community meetings and saw them in action, handling themselves with elegant finesse.

I thought of those people as I wrote those motions that I presented to you and the co-leaders. It seemed formal, I know, but it was important for me do to it just that way.

It was scary putting myself out with our organization. As you may recall, I used the adjective "dreaded" to describe it. However, I stepped out of my comfort zone, because that's how one grows.

So growing up was the path I had hoped to be on. Because of limited finances, I no longer wanted to put off getting things I need, like a new pair of glasses or fixing a broken tooth. That's simply not the life for me, not anymore. Without money, it is difficult to live that stable life I know I, not only want, but need to keep my mental health on solid ground.

So it's good for me to return to that community for a while and hook up with those folks and learn more about living a stable life. Also, I burned some bridges with those people, and, perhaps, God will allow the possibility to repair them. It would be great, if, by the time I leave that area, I can feel at peace.

So this "growing up" business is new to me, and I wonder what went wrong with my development. I suppose it had to do with being the emotional caretaker for my mom, and, somehow, my development was halted by all that responsibility that was expected in my family. We all took it on; and, on some level, all of my siblings are stuck in developmental stages.

Even my sister, who is successful in the world, is stuck, because she can't say no. Being able to say "no" is a critical developmental stage that starts at two. It's disturbing that so many of us apparent adults stewarding this planet may be stuck in the stages of infancy or toddlerhood, even the "winners."

So, what you observed was this one growing up. It's been one of the hardest things I've had to do, because I had to look at how I had "failed" as a wife, a mother--and, most of all, a woman. Recognizing these failures cut right through me, and, even now, when I think about them, it still smarts. There have been times, when I wasn't mentally stable, that my mind would go there, and I would spiral down into a pit of despair.

If we have the good fortune to reunite, I've got to be awesome to you to repair that sense of failure I have had in my role as a helpmate and a woman. As far as my mother role, that's an unknown variable, for my daughter will continue to have baggage. However, without baggage, I will be a better mother, and maybe our relationship will continue to improve, if that's God's desire.

Even though I want to be a grown-up, I want to do it on my terms. Although my development was arrested due to my family dynamics, still--I was not terribly motivated to grow up when I see how miserable most "adults" are. So I asked myself how I can be a grown-up while still maintaining joy? And my answer is the lifetsyle blueprint I have shared with you, because I feel that approach is one most likely to produce a joyful adult.

Those people I admire are shackled with expensive lifestyles, super-busy lives; and they are prisoners to obligations. They may have arrested development hidden from my view, and that's okay, because they still are useful models in many respects, just not in all.

So, somehow, with God's continued direction, I can be that mature human being I had prayed to be for the last 4 years. My image in the mirror is becoming pleasing to me, and, perhaps, one day, I may feel that reflection looking back at me will be my very best friend.

LH










lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/09/17 07:50 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/09/17 07:55 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/09/17 09:35 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/09/17 12:34 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/09/17 12:51 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Hey You,

I am wondering if this song I heard on the radio was confirmation that it was you I saw on Tuesday, because I was heading southbound. :-)

When I thought it might have been you, then I felt self-conscious that my car is dirty. With any other man I wouldn't give a shit, but not with you--God damn it. Therefore, I am far from ready to reunite. :-(

Just to let you know, I will be back there around the same time on Tuesday, so the runner in you may want to avoid it. If you want to brave it, you should know that my car may or may not be clean. :-) Also, I could have the new license plate, so identification may be difficult.

If it wasn't you, then you wouldn't know what time I was there, so, if you definitely want to avoid me, then stay off that street all of Tuesday. :-)

If you want to hook up mentally, pick a day and time, and maybe the message will come through, and I will think of you then. If you stand me up, it's fine, because in the midst fighting dragons, it's hard to commit to appointments. :-)




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/09/17 03:20 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/09/17 03:45 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/09/17 06:27 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/10/17 02:54 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Hey You,

I read that when your twin is thinking about you, then you will see their image in your mind. If you have seen mine, now you know why.

Last night I saw your image in my mind while I was busy doing something. I don't know if you selected that time to meet up, but if you did, sorry I wasn't available.

The first time I saw your image was weeks after that day I visited our organization, and I was a little freaked out, but I intuited that this may have been the case.

I wondered if I was going crazy, and if you feel this way, I can assure you that you are not; this just is a design characteristic. Another thing that happens too is you will feel my presence.

Maybe I could select a time and post it, but I don't know how you schedule your days. Maybe if we plan for the same time each day, then, once and a while, we may successfully meet-up.

Let me think of a good time, and I will get back to you.

Back to bed,
LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/10/17 07:16 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/10/17 08:12 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Baggage and Beet Salsa :-)


Hello You,

I fear when you begin to read this that you will feel I am harping on the past, something women are often accused of doing. :-) I promise you; this is not my intention. You will find what comes out of re-examining this scenario between us is something astoundingly insightful, so have faith, my dear. :-)

I was thinking about that interaction we had about the beet salsa. As you know, I playfully asked if I could try yours, and you were pissed off and threw it across the table.

Now, you may not remember this, and that's okay, because it's such a small thing, but thinking about it brought up a significant ah-ha moment.

Let's pretend that your mother often asked for food off your plate, and it felt intrusive to you, because nothing was allowed to be yours or you weren't allowed to say no, etc. So, whenever a similar situation has arisen in your life since, it triggers a strong emotional response, not connected in any way to your present life.

So, in my example, even though asking to taste your beet salsa was a neutral event, for you, filtered through your childhood experiences, it would be heavily loaded. What, then, can happen is the person who triggered you, me, wonders what pissed you off, and my own concerns trigger the fear of abandonment I had in childhood when my father was angry with me.

So, a simple request to have a taste of beet salsa could turn into a big deal, for we would both be triggered; however, those emotions would have nothing to do with our current interaction. Anger issues with your mother you may have about her asking for food is what I would call emotional baggage.

There are infinite emotional issues we hold about our parents so easily triggered, and, most of the time, I believe, people in romantic situations are not reacting to each other, but to these memories.

If these issues are buried inside and are triggered, we may have absolutely no idea why, or we may feel our reaction is reasonable. However, it is not reasonable, because the anger has nothing to do with our mate. So each party is at odds with people who may no longer be alive, and that anger is taken out on one's mate, and so the relationship suffers.

If, for example, your mother was in the habit of leaving dirty dishes in the sink, and it pissed you off, because it reminded you of her neglect of you, then if I left dishes in the sink, you might find yourself angry at me. Yet, they are only dishes in the sink, nothing more. However, if they trigger an emotional response, they won't feel like just dishes in the sink, but instead signify a deep sense of abandonment.

I can't tell you how many small, nothing things trigger strong emotional responses in me, and those contributed to the resentments that were built toward my ex. I know that there were things that he did that were neutral, but I turned them into very personal stuff. He did the same with me.

We, virtually, were not married to each other, but to both of our parents. So, during that honeymoon period, we slowly began to lose each other. I would venture to say that this is often the case with most couples.

I can remember events during the honeymoon period when I started to display behavior that shut him down, and I know he did too. Once that shutdown experience happens, you start on a trajectory of pain by which you shut down little by little with each day. So, before you know it, the honeymoon is over.

This is all about emotional baggage and how it pollutes wonderful bonds, and we can't seem to do anything about it. I felt my relationship with my ex should have ended 6 month into dating, and I attempted to break up, but I went back, because I didn't want to be alone, a fear stemming from emotional baggage--and he took me back because he shared that fear.

So, year upon year, we stuck it out, because being alone was so frightening. However, sticking it out made me depressed, so much so, that I felt I couldn't leave, because I couldn't function. Of course, from an expanded view, I see that I had to stay, so that we could come together. :-)

Still, it makes me sad that God scripted things this way, because there was so much pain my ex and I endured. However, we both had arrested development and agree that even if we had been with different people, the outcome would have been the same.

If you are entangled in unexamined emotional baggage, it would destroy us, and, though I have examined mine, it still would be destructive. Therefore, I am, once again, thankful for this separation and to God for providing instruments to clear us of this shit that would hurt us terribly.

I hate that this could take years, but it's better than rushing things. You have too much on your plate to move into this now, and, you know, I have things I need to do in preparation for you.

Still, I wish the wait wouldn't have to be so long, but it's better, for if God rushed things, it would be far more than you could endure. It may be difficult now, but it would be too much if it was any more accelerated.

I am so happy that I will have a relationship that works. I can love you for who you are, and not react to you because of things that have nothing to do with you.

Perhaps, then, if I leave dirty dishes in the sink, you can see them just as--dirty dishes in the sink, and you might laugh like a Buddha, when you realize that's all they have ever been. Then, together, we may roll up our sleeves and gently wash them.

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/10/17 11:38 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/10/17 12:27 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

I found a Screaming Jay Hawkins's video, "Constipation Blues." It's so graphic that I am embarrassed to post it, and the live one is the worst, so check it out. :-)






lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/10/17 01:30 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/10/17 02:22 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Hey Folks,

I solved my Quicken dilemma, and I learned a bit more about this crazy Matrix way of doing business. For those who work with Quicken and are up against this problem, I will provide the solution.

During that time I contracted a Trojan Horse, I reinstalled Windows 10. While it was installing, I went out, and when I returned, I saw that it had downloaded Windows updates.

I went into Quicken, and I couldn't get into my file without providing a username and password. When last I checked in with you, the password I had assigned to it wouldn't take.

I did a bit of research, and I discovered that Quicken and Microsoft are working together to support cloud-hosting, and I have a sneaking suspicion that these upgrades are affecting Quicken toward moving me toward cloud usage.

I have read many complaints from customers that the software is forcing them to download transactions rather than allowing them to enter them manually. I also am aware that Quickbooks is moving toward cloud-hosting by subscription only.

A customer, then, will no longer be able to buy software but will have to pay monthly for online use, and I know this is also true with the new version of Microsoft Office. I imagine this will be the trend for Quicken too as well as other software programs.

As we become more dependent on the cloud, software companies can take full advantage of us, and we lose control of our money and data, because everyone knows that the cloud is not 100% secure.

So, I decided I had to find a way out of this situation, and the only solution I had was to install an old version, prior to smart phone mental deterioration, and I figured I would have to input lost data from this year, and, sadly, lose years of history, because you can't install a data file from a newer version to an older one.

My computer technician installed Quicken 2012, because that's all he had. Even though Windows 10 wasn't around then, I took a chance, and it works great. Still, I was pissed off that I would lose all that data. I felt there was a work-around, and I did a search, and, God damn it, I found it.

There is a Quicken conversion tool that will format a Quicken QDF file into a QXT file that can be imported into your system. There are converters for several years, and a 2016 was available.

The website said that you could not downgrade a conversion to an older version, but I thought I would try, and, sure enough, it worked.

So, I have all my history; my data is safe; I can continue to manually input; and I don't have to use a password. Through this solution, I was able to remove myself from another line of sheep headed for the slaughterhouse.

As public service, here is the link to the conversion tool. I am not sure you can use this for the Mac version of Quicken, but it's worth a try.

Well, I'm off to chew some grass. :-)

LH



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/10/17 03:32 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Hi Friend,

I came up with 8:00 every night for a rendezvous time. If either of us forgets or is busy, it's no big deal. Hopefully, God will see to it that sometimes we have a successful meet-up. If you only have a few seconds or minutes, it's all good.

I hope to see you tonight, and perhaps we can listen to music together. Sunday night is always a great line-up. :-)

This is totally flexible, so no pressure. If it happens, it will happen organically. It's not like I am not dressing up for a big date with this grand expectation you will show up at the door; I'll be in my jammies ready to call it a night. :-)

Let's just call it an experiment and have fun with it, and, with practice, we may get proficient at meeting up like this and have a cool way to spend time together while we wait out this separation.

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/10/17 03:57 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/10/17 04:58 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

You've got a lot going on. Please don't worry about being there tonight. I will send you good thoughts at 8:00.




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/10/17 05:40 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Hi Dear Friend,

I have a different take on this nightly meet-up. Since you are struggling, then perhaps if you need support, check in with me at 8:00, since you know that is a time I will be available.

I also believe that connecting may be a bit too intimate right now, so God may find a way to obstruct it until we can handle it. No worries.

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/11/17 12:32 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Hi Friend,

I was sleepy at 8, but I was there.

I have insulated myself from being aware of world events, but I know about the hurricanes, the earthquake, and the civil unrest--and maybe there is a lot more. I care, but I have to do this, because I can't be drained of my resources.

I don't own a TV anymore, so I can't watch the news. I know so much of it is bad, but there are good things happening too, yet the news ignores those. It is designed instill fear, so exposure to it is detrimental to one's wellbeing.

I know that we are taught that it is irresponsible to not be aware of what is going on, so one may feel guilty to not pay attention. If it was possible to be aware and not be phased that would be optimal but very difficult.

Before I stopped looking at your Facebook page, I saw you did posts trying to be optimistic, but also addressing your political concerns, so I feel you care deeply about the planet. However, you are on a hero's journey, and focusing too much on bad news will drain you of your personal resources.

If the world events cause us suffering, we will spread suffering, and then we become part of the problem.

I have stressed how important clarity and good mental health is for me, because, in these times, we will witness upheaval, and this affects our ability to function. Therefore, that is one reason why I am doing all the things I do to keep my mind healthy.

My dad once said to me that one day the world will turn upside down, and people won't know what to do, and when I heard him say that, I decided I would be one person who knows what to do, and if I can function well, then I will be.

We are meant to live out our days together, and if you are suffering due to world events, God will see to it that this reunion won't happen, because your suffering will cause me to suffer.

I think of your life as a desert, and this thread and the music pouring out of that radio station as an oasis to feed your spirit, and, my friend, you need all the sustenance you can. :-)

I am here for you always and there with you in spirit.

I love you.

LH







lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/11/17 12:45 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/11/17 04:17 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/11/17 05:09 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/11/17 05:18 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

I got word from the radio waves that when we connect at 8:00 that we should stop at 8:05. Okay? :-)


Moby Grape
5:10 AM
8:05
Moby Grape




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/11/17 07:31 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

God damn it--I just woke up from that dream again about working at the software company and still not filling out that fucking time card.

This time, the CEO keeps having us move our offices around with no thought of how it affects us, so I had to work on getting my furniture moved into another building, and Larry was there to help, a strange, hardworking fellow with who worked in facilities and has tried to connect with me on LinkedIn, who I ignore, as with most everyone else, because I am being very selective.

In addition, if you were trying to look at my page anonymously, I am disallowing public viewing until I am ready to put out my shingle.

I just looked at his page, and, in his profile photograph, he looks like he has a hangover, and his job title reads, "Unemployed at Home." It sounds like me. :-(

So, in the dream, he is sitting breathing hard, because he just moved some furniture, and I had to ask him to move my file cabinet. I felt guilty, because he's so tired, but he denies it, and gets up ready to go. This is how Larry was; he kept on moving like a solid Mack truck.

So I am pissed, because the CEO considers employees as cogs in the wheel and says so. I feel it sounds logical enough, but I see that there is no concern for individuals at all, and here I am working for free.

I, once again, consider filling out a time card to see what it may feel like to get a paycheck in the hope that I like the feeling so much that I might get in the habit of filling it out.

I don't know if this dream is related to how you feel about your work, but, for me, it is worrisome that I keep having it, for I am destined for a very beautiful, rich life, yet I am allowing myself to be a slave and am working for an asshole, and I won't quit. Why shouldn't I quit when I am working for free? It all amounts to the same thing, no money.

However, in the dream, I also consider that it's good for me to have the structure of the job and be around nice people, and I did feel that about the company.

They were the coolest people: so smart, so interesting; I often would see programmers juggling in the hallway. They were zany and off-beat, and this was the perfect environment for me to be my own wonderful, zany self. I remember when I walked in the door the first time, I felt like I was home.

The company doesn't exist anymore, having been bought out by a variety of companies with continuous name changes, and the programmers are scattered around, working for other companies or or for themselves.

The CFO was obsessed with the the book One Minute Manager and would say, "The best helping hand is on the end of your arm," which always brought to mind masturbation. :-)

Anyway, I hope one day I fill out that time card or stop having the dream altogether. Perhaps as I transform, this dream will be wired out of my brain, then this transformation will be worthwhile. :-) I wonder if the Buddha dealt with a similar issue. :-)

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/11/17 07:52 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/11/17 08:27 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Promise me you'll sing this to me:
:-)




lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/11/17 09:53 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Hey You,

I was up and tuned into the radio, when I did, the last song just ended, and "8:05" came right on. It really flipped me out, and I now am convinced that we are receiving supernatural aid from that radio station. It's nuts!!

Did this answer the question you may have had how long our meet-ups should be, or was it your request of 5 minutes that was being conveyed? Can't wait to find out one day. :-)

If an answer wasn't initiated by your request for clarity, then it's sharp of God to set this timeline for us; otherwise, since we are not yet proficient enough to be consciously aware of each other psychically, then one of us may be left hanging if the other disconnects.

Didn't I tell you God is pure genius? :-)

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/11/17 03:55 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/11/17 04:04 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/11/17 06:40 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Hello Friend,

I hope today is going well for you. Just to reiterate, my availability is between 8:00 and 8:05 every night, so if you want to reach out, think of me then. :-)

I brought up my LinkedIn status, and I believe I may have mentioned by Facebook is deactivated, so I don't have much web presence. Although, if you do a search on my name with my mom's community, you find my mother's obituary and some other stuff, and with her obituary, you can then find her memorial page, and there you will find a lovely eulogy I wrote.

Before your final threat to see me at the courts, I contacted you by Facebook. I want to explain what happened there, but, before I do, I had something funny to say about that threat. I received a jury duty summons, and I thought it would be ironic if you got called in the same day. I looked for you, but you were nowhere to be found. :-)

Back to Facebook: I sent you a friend request, and then I freaked out for fear of a restraining order, and I immediately deactivated, so that my request was not visible on your Facebook page. However, you may have received an email notification of my request and been mystified why you could not find it in Facebook. That's why.

Having a restraining order filed against me would not serve me well in finding housing, so I have played it safe. I thank you for not following through on the two times I did not respect your boundaries. Still, I watched my mailbox for 2 weeks until I felt I was in the clear. :-)

After I deactivated, I created a new Facebook account using my other email address, and then I was able to look at your Facebook page without my request being detected.

It was interesting to look and see what you were about. We never talked politics, so I didn't know your political views. I was surprised how progressive you are, and I wondered if this was a recent change. I also noticed each year you don't mention your birthday.

On your birthday I mentally wished you a happy one and played that lovely David Benoit song. I also thought of you during the winter holidays.

I was out of town during Christmas, staying at my brother's place while my bathroom was undergoing mold remediation followed by renovation. It was the largest expenditure by far. My stay at my brother's was unpleasant. We harbor bad feelings, and there is much tension. Fortunately, he had to leave a couple days after my arrival, because he was committed to a house-sitting gig, so I had the place to myself for a few days. Then I came home for New Year's Eve, very uneventful. I think I was in bed by my usual time. :-(

I told you I have no TV. As you know, I spent most of my life in front of the TV, because that's what depressives often do. And I do love watching, but one day my TV broke, so I bought a nice flat screen and set it up.

While sitting there with the remote, I felt like I was my mother--who spent most of her life in front of her TV with a remote in her hand. It disturbed me to feel like her, and so I boxed it up and returned it. I guess it's time I have a new life, so, for me, TV watching is a thing of the past.

It didn't take too long to get used to not having one, and now I don't even think about it. I watch Amazon Prime movies and check out library DVDs. I also catch what I can on YouTube.

While in the car wash today, a thought came to mind, something I hear all of the time: You should know what is going on in the world. So I started to think about that and pondered what exactly I am meant to know, because there are so many things going on, and who decides what it is I need to know? The news? My brother? Who?

If I watch the news, the news industry decides what is important for me to know, but why should the news industry be the one to decide for me? God is bigger than the news industry, but I think we forget that and make it the source for all knowledge, rather than God.

I definitely think it is important to know what is going on right around me, because it is that place I must function. I can know what is happening in another state, but that won't assist me to function here. If I tend to focus on what is happening there, rather on where I am, then I will function poorly.

So, I guess this is all about staying present, and staying present is how I can stay sane. There are only so many hours in the day to learn about what is happening on the planet, but if most of those hours are spent learning about places that I am not, then I suffer from being disconnected from where I am.

I cannot know all that is happening on the planet, but God does, and I feel he will relay to me whatever I need to know at any given moment. If a radio station can inform me that our meet-ups should end at 8:05, then I am certain God has many other creative ways to get news to me.

Having the heritage we do, I feel you could be experiencing much fear, because our history is so awful. I don't know where things are going, but I guess I will just stay present and keep doing the next indicated action, for that is the only way I know to keep my feet firmly planted on the ground.

If there is an earthquake tomorrow, I will deal with it. However, because of the cool way I see God intervening, I have the confidence that I will get all that I need, but it's not always been that way, and I don't know why my luck has changed.

I also don't know why other people's luck doesn't change, and I don't know why yours will. I don't know anything at all. All I do know is that I want to be grateful for the good that I have, because it's been such a rough road for so long.

I love you.

LH









lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/11/17 06:44 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/11/17 07:20 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/11/17 08:10 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/11/17 08:15 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/11/17 08:26 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/11/17 08:31 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Good Night!

LH


lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/11/17 11:55 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/11/17 11:57 PM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/12/17 12:06 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience



lovingheart
(ME Grand High Pooh-Bah)
09/12/17 12:57 AM
Re: Twin Flame Runner's Experience

Hello My Dear,

There is an interesting turn of events here. My ex is struggling with direction, so I offered him my financial consultation, because I see a way for him to have a secure and happy financial future. Also, I will help him plan for the money coming from the sale of the house, because like me, he's afraid of lump sums.

I told you that he wants forgiveness between us, and I think this will do it. By him finally utilizing my skills and not fucking up, I feel that this is positive.

However, threatened you may feel, understand that if he and I have forgiveness, then the emotional baggage I carry from my marriage will dissolve, and so this prepares me for you, because while I have that baggage, God will not allow us to reunite. So this is a gift to you and me, because it provides an opportunity for me to be free to love you with a full heart. In addition, I will be able to fine tune my abilities, so if you need similar counsel, I will be far more effective.

You are the one for me; no one else, and I hope that you trust this. This arrangement may be way out-of-box for you, but there is another way to be without strife, and that's the way for me.

Perhaps telling you this is a mistake, but I hope it may serve us well. Maybe by you knowing this, an opportunity to dissolve any emotional baggage you have about past betrayals will be provided, and that is vital, because while you carry that, we also can never reunite.

I am different from anyone you know, because I will always be true. This is true love, so I can be no other way. :-) Would I do all I am doing with this thread for anyone else? No fucking way. That's all the proof you need that you're it for me.

I think a big problem is that you may be projecting your own challenges around monogamy on others, but not everyone is like you. Because of this projection, you might unfairly feel that everyone is suspect.

Also, my ex is not handsome or charismatic like you, so I cannot be tempted to be with him as others are so easily tempted by you. I don't know if you realize, but most of the world is not as desirable as you, so they are not able to seduce others so skillfully. Because you are as you are, you may be able to tempt women to betray their partners, but most people can't. Therefore, you are a rare phenomenon that my ex can never be. So, there's no threat here.

Whatever happened between my ex and me in the past has no bearing today, because I am different, and you and I have this thing that we didn't then. In my mind, I feel I am not available to others, because I am off the market now, even though you and I have never been together. It's weird, but I feel I am yours.

The song "Wake Up" says that it's time to teach a new way, and this is a new way.

I love you.

LH